What do you find between an Elephants toes?
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Slow running pygmies!
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Slow running pygmies!
Silly Jokes
- Thread starter WVOldFart
- Start date
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What's brown and sounds like a bell?
Dung.
Dung.
Another favorite here.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
Haha, I know where I'll be seeing you! Won't need to bring our lighters!
Can't believe it's available - one of the stupidest jokes ever told on television (and I remember watching it)!
For the Holiday
One time a little boy came home from Sunday school with a very odd picture that he had drawn. His mother was curious about it, and so after lunch she launched some inquiries. She sat down with him on the sofa, and asked him to explain his picture to her. But first, she wanted to know, what had the teacher asked them to draw?
“Oh,” the little boy said. “She wanted us to draw some part of the Christmas story.”
But there before them, on the paper, was a picture of a huge 747 jet. Although drawn by a small boy, it was nonetheless recognizable. The boy’s mother decided to ask innocuous questions, or questions that she guessed might be innocuous.
“And so,” she asked, pointing at the plane, “what is this?”
Her son, happy to explain his artistry, and pleased with the attention he was getting, said, “Oh, this is the flight into Egypt.”
“Ah,” she said, and pointed to the front of the plane. “And who is this?”
“That,” said her son, “is Pontius the pilot.”
“Ah,” she said, and pointed to a more recognizable scene in the back of the plane. It was more recognizable in that it seemed like an ordinary nativity set. “And who is this?”
“That,” her son said, still pleased, “is Joseph, Mary, and the baby Jesus.”
“I thought so,” said the mother. “But I am really curious about this last one.” She said this because off to the side of the nativity scene was a huge man, kind of a butterball, looking like he must weigh three or four hundred pounds. “And so who is this?”
“Oh,” her son said, “that’s Round John Virgin.”
One time a little boy came home from Sunday school with a very odd picture that he had drawn. His mother was curious about it, and so after lunch she launched some inquiries. She sat down with him on the sofa, and asked him to explain his picture to her. But first, she wanted to know, what had the teacher asked them to draw?
“Oh,” the little boy said. “She wanted us to draw some part of the Christmas story.”
But there before them, on the paper, was a picture of a huge 747 jet. Although drawn by a small boy, it was nonetheless recognizable. The boy’s mother decided to ask innocuous questions, or questions that she guessed might be innocuous.
“And so,” she asked, pointing at the plane, “what is this?”
Her son, happy to explain his artistry, and pleased with the attention he was getting, said, “Oh, this is the flight into Egypt.”
“Ah,” she said, and pointed to the front of the plane. “And who is this?”
“That,” said her son, “is Pontius the pilot.”
“Ah,” she said, and pointed to a more recognizable scene in the back of the plane. It was more recognizable in that it seemed like an ordinary nativity set. “And who is this?”
“That,” her son said, still pleased, “is Joseph, Mary, and the baby Jesus.”
“I thought so,” said the mother. “But I am really curious about this last one.” She said this because off to the side of the nativity scene was a huge man, kind of a butterball, looking like he must weigh three or four hundred pounds. “And so who is this?”
“Oh,” her son said, “that’s Round John Virgin.”
A man goes into a Greek tailor's with a torn pair of trousers.
The conversation went like this.
Tailor - Euripides ?
Customer - Eumenides ?
The conversation went like this.
Tailor - Euripides ?
Customer - Eumenides ?
Did you hear about the midget fortune teller who escaped from prison? The headline read 'Small Medium At Large".
What’s red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
A brick.
Did you know the North American antelope can jump higher than a single story house?
This is because houses can’t jump.
This is because houses can’t jump.
Did you know if you laid a blue whale lengthwise on a basketball court you wouldn’t be able to play basketball on that court?
I’ll never forget my grandpa’s final words. “Quit shaking the ladder, ya little turd!”
What do you cal a turtle with a hard on? A slowpoke.
A monk, a rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender says,"What is this, some kind of joke?"
My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.
Dude, read the rules. Jeffrey Dahmer jokes are strictly prohibited!