Silly Jokes

[captaincalabash]

A wife was curious after 10 years of marriage why her husband always insisted on having the lights out when they made love. That night, in the middle of the act, she switched on the light and was shocked to see her husband was substituting a cucumber for himself. "A cucumber!" she exclaimed angrily, "Mister, you've got some explaining to do!" "Me? he replied, "How do you explain our three kids?"

 

[romaso]

 

[bullet08]

A blonde found her boyfriend cheating on her in her bedroom. The blonde pulled out a gun and put it against her own head. Boyfriend said "don't do it baby!" The blonde said "don't worry! You are next!"

 

[Yadkin1765]

“What’s the difference between a duck?”

The lead up stands much as its own punchline. But, for sake of it, the answer is.

“One of it’s other legs is exactly the same as it’s self.”

 

[AcesAndEights]

Boss: How’s the new glue?
Me:

 

[carlomarx]

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?"

 

[agnosticpipe]

An explorer in Africa finds Tarzan painting the black stripes white, and the white stripes black on a zebra. When he was asked why was doing that, Tarzan says, "Tarzan Stripes Forever"