Funny And Odd Sayings From Our Elders

[Richmond B. Funkenhouser]

Could it have been "...a dick's...." ? That'd make sense to me, as dick was jargon for private eye or non-uniformed type, often wearing a small fedora.

Best answer Ive found for that one.

 

[Richmond B. Funkenhouser]

Does the brown bear shit in the woods?
Is the Pope Polish? (rather old and date-specific)
No shit, Sherlock!
Colder than the balls on a brass monkey.

I always thought it was "does the pope shit in the woods?" Either way that's the version I use.

 

[Tommy Boy]

My dad told me more times than i care to mention there is only two ways to do something the right way or again.

 

[pappymac]

The right way, the wrong way and the government way.

Prior Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance
(or, Proper Packing Prevents Piss Poor Puffing)

 

[Richmond B. Funkenhouser]

"Good enough for government work" - when doing a half ass job with my granddad.

 

[Gecko]

I always thought it was "does the pope shit in the woods?" Either way that's the version I use.

My kids get a lot of giggles out of my mash up of "Does the pope wear a funny hat?" and "Do bears poop in the woods?".
I've combined them into "Do bears poop in the popes hat?"

 

[jmill208]

When commenting on a large woman:
“She’s big enough to burn diesel.”

 

[docpierce]

Cheese & rice = Jesus Christ
Shut the front door = shut the f^ck up
Referring to a large woman- "when she sits around the house she sits around the house".

 

[alaskanpiper]

My kids get a lot of giggles out of my mash up of "Does the pope wear a funny hat?" and "Do bears poop in the woods?".
I've combined them into "Do bears poop in the popes hat?"

That supposed to be the other way around. The expression up here is “Does the pope shit in the woods?”

 

[Tommy Boy]

My old boss use to call people strange cats or odd ducks. Large women were called 4x4 (4ft tall and 4ft wide) or 4x6 if tall and wide.

 

[Gecko]

That supposed to be the other way around. The expression up here is “Does the pope shit in the woods?”

You are correct
But I get more giggles from my kids when the bear Is doing his business in the popes hat

 

[alaskanpiper]

You are correct
But I get more giggles from my kids when the bear Is doing his business in the popes hat

That makes sense

 

[alaskanpiper]

My grandfather was notorious for eating steak extremely rare (and serving it to others that way). My dad recounts a story where my grandfather was grilling steaks, put them on the table, and his uncle said:

“Jesus Frank, I’ve seen animals get better that were hurt worse than that!”

 

[Tommy Boy]

My grandpa use to also say thats funnier than a fish fart and call people old coots.

 

[jpmcwjr]

"Up Shit Creek without a paddle". Odd expression; I'd rather be up the creek than down it. You can at least float downstream to get back to where you should be.

 

[renfield]

I remember hearing;

Not the sharpest spoon in the knife drawer. In reference to someone stupid.

Fly with the crows and get shot with them. On the topic of who we’d choose to associate with.

Dumber than a box of rocks.

He gives lazy people a bad name.

 

[jaytex1969]

My dad would say, of someone who talked too much, "If they ever closed their mouth, their tongue would beat the top of their head off."

In the army, one in need of severe corrective action would be said to need "wall to wall counseling".

I'm so broke, if it cost a nickle to shit, I'd have to puke.

Of any injury not requiring medical care, my parents declared, "It will be better before you're 21."

The older I get, the better I was.

His breath is so bad, it would knock a buzzard off a manure cart.

Use your head for something besides a hat rack. (another parental favorite)

Whenever caught doing something inappropriate inside the house, my dad would inquire, "Where do you think you are, home or some other dirty place?"

Once, he hit me with that one while at my grandparents' house, so my natural reply, finally, was "Some other dirty place!" Grandma was not pleased...

Stuck behind a timid driver at a yield sign on our bikes, my buddy yelled out, "It says YIELD, NOT SURRENDER!"

When someone was doing something the hard way or less efficiently, dad would say, "He's going around his asshole to get to his elbow."

Another military command, when attempting to pass and people were in the way, it was common to shout, "Make a hole!"

I had a squad leader that would reply to a knock on the door with, "Slide your face under the door!"

 

[skydog]

I always thought it was "does the pope shit in the woods?" Either way that's the version I use.

Does a bear wear a funny hat?

 

[Tommy Boy]

My dad use to say a scew up on your part doesn't constitute an emergency on my part to us kids when we just couldnt wait for something. Heard him say it to his boss before also when we worked together. A very stunned look on his face before he turned and walked away indeed.

 

[mawnansmiff]

"Referring to a large woman- "when she sits around the house she sits around the house"."

I've heard similar as 'wherever she sits in the room, you're sitting next to her'.

Regards,

Jay.