Funny And Odd Sayings From Our Elders

[timelord]

From my buddies Dad (born in Ireland) "yer Man down the road".

"Yer man..." crops up all the time in conversations with my relatives (yes, we're Irish).

Aussies have lots of good ones; here's two describing some one as crackers (or in English 'having a screw loose'):

He's got a roo (i.e. a kangaroo) loose in the top paddock
He's a prawn short of a barbie (Note. Aussies don't say shrimp except in that b. awful tourism advert - which unbelieavably was the work of the current Aussie Prime Minister in his previous job - he's still deservedly getting stick for it)

 

[timelord]

As mad as a cut snake.

 

[Chasing Embers]

Sadly, I have used and still use a lot of these. Then again, being the oldest living member of my family, kind of makes sense.

 

[mau1]

Whenever I lost a poker hand that I swore no one could beat...

"Fuck me gently, Martha" said with disgust.

 

[Chasing Embers]

Whenever I lost a poker hand that I swore no one could beat...

"Fuck me gently, Martha" said with disgust.

One of mine is, "Fuck me running backwards up a snow covered hill."

 

[neilnoff]

Wonderful thread that brings back memories of Mom & Dad:

She's no bigger than a bar of soap after a week's wash (referring to a slim person)

He looks like old Ned in the first reader (referring to someone looking disheveled)

All any old mule can do is try (when tackling a difficult problem)

Those biscuits like like cat heads (when Mom didn't like the appearance of her homemade biscuits)

You're digging your grave with your teeth (when she thought I was eating too much)

He wouldn't look at me if my hair was on fire (someone being ignored)

 

[mso489]

It's just one word, but I love it. My father's mom called a kiddie tricycle a velocipede. She also used the alternative meaning of cunning, not as cold calculation, but as adorable.

 

[B.Fee]

My grandfather would exclaim when informed of something that suprised him.
Well dog my other cat.

 

[cossackjack]

Wife (my elder by 1 month) in response to one of my inanities...
“Did your I.Q. just drop 100 points?
Did you even have 100 to lose?”

Me...
“You’re I.Q. is equal to the air temperature...in Centigrade.”

Youngest son (my intellectual elder)...
“You are not the sharpest knife in the drawer...no, you are a SPOON!”

 

[bnichols23]

Like a cat I had once, "dumber than two bags of hammers."

 

[pappymac]

That's like kissing your sister.

He's so dumb he couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

 

[Richmond B. Funkenhouser]

Sounds dirty, but its not as I've heard my grandmother say it.

"Tighter than dick's hat band"

I have searched for the origin on this one with no luck.

 

[Jaylotw]

‘Bout the size of a speck of pepper (anything small)

I’m so busy, I don’t know if I lost a horse or found a rope

I don’t know whether to shit or go blind (at a loss)

You look like a monkey f*ckin’ a football (someone doing a task especially poorly/uncoordinated)



I’ve heard a lot of these from my dad, my grandpa, and various folk.

 

[verporchting]

Dumber than a box of rocks

More useless than a drawer full of broken hammer handles

Meaner than a two headed snake

Crazier than a bag of badgers

Dumber than a cat fart

Uglier than a bowl of French fried guppy butts

 

[Tommy Boy]

My Dad any time i said hey dad look at my new truck, boat, camper, motorcycle..... he would ask are you making payments on it? Then its NOT YOURS! Also they are as useful as a knitted rubber.

 

[weezell]

You flitter like a fart on a skillet!
Shit don't stink till you step in it!
It's colder than a well diggers ass!
I will defend myself vigorously!
I don't know who died and elected you God but I didn't vote that day!...

 

[Tommy Boy]

My mom would say what the hecken darn instead of swearing

 

[hoosierpipeguy]

Get in front of the TV and someone was bound to say "You make a much better door than a window."

"Couldn't find your ass with both hands even if someone was holding a mirror between your legs."

"Don't piss down my neck and tell me you're giving me a back massage."

"Even a broken clock is right twice per day."

 

[weezell]

...

 

[jeffro]

Excellent thread! this is bringing back some memories!

My Grandmother when startled would say "Oh My Stars And Garters!"
I have no idea what that one meant?
Here are a bunch sayings that my Grand Father used to say.
And few my Parents use to say.
More irritated than A cat on a hot tin roof .
More nervous than a whore in church.
Keep your nose to the grindstone.
He or She "has a screw loose ".
Just in the nick of time.
Are you trying to pull the wool over my eyes?
Take that with a grain of Salt.
I caught you Red Handed.
Sleep tight don't let the bed bugs bite!
I feel like they are giving me the cold shoulder.
If my Mother had to curse in public she would first say
""Pardon My French" then use a curse word?
I should look up the origin of some of these some of them are quite strange sounding today.