Funny And Odd Sayings From Our Elders
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Yes the 4-F club. I joined it in 7th grade, when none of my pals nor I had done either of the last two F's, and precious little of the second.
And in my neck of the woods, it was shit from Shinola.
And in my neck of the woods, it was shit from Shinola.
My old man quite often used the following:
-Boy, you’re so lazy, you wouldn’t work in a pie factory.
-I’m busier than a cat covering shit right now.
-You’re so weak, you couldn’t pull the fart out a butter bean.
-You’ve got so many freckles, it looks like someone threw shit at you through a screen door.
-It’s dry as a popcorn fart out here.
-I’m not eating that shit sandwich you’re trying to feed me.
-Get your crony friends the hell out of
here.
-I’m going to break my foot off in your ass if you don’t get your crony friends out of here.
-If you keep that up, I’m going to rip off your head and shit down your throat.
Ahh...Dad was the warm and fuzzy type.
-Boy, you’re so lazy, you wouldn’t work in a pie factory.
-I’m busier than a cat covering shit right now.
-You’re so weak, you couldn’t pull the fart out a butter bean.
-You’ve got so many freckles, it looks like someone threw shit at you through a screen door.
-It’s dry as a popcorn fart out here.
-I’m not eating that shit sandwich you’re trying to feed me.
-Get your crony friends the hell out of
here.
-I’m going to break my foot off in your ass if you don’t get your crony friends out of here.
-If you keep that up, I’m going to rip off your head and shit down your throat.
Ahh...Dad was the warm and fuzzy type.
" A stitch in time saves nine"- Repair something before it gets worse.
"A month of Sundays" A very long time.
"Never look a gift horse in the mouth" Don't question or criticize a gift or the gifter.
Don't do as I do, do as I say.
Little boys should be seen and not heard.
Don't know your ass from a hole in the ground.
Little boys should be seen and not heard.
Don't know your ass from a hole in the ground.
Another favorite from dad:
“_______ is built like a Brick Sh*t House.”
Most often he would be referring to Ядвіга (Yadviga), a mythically stout women, from whom he wanted grandchildren. Don’t ask.
“_______ is built like a Brick Sh*t House.”
Most often he would be referring to Ядвіга (Yadviga), a mythically stout women, from whom he wanted grandchildren. Don’t ask.
"Snug as a bug in a rug," "don't let the bed bugs bite," "sleep tight."
Old Navy description of a young sailor on liberty:
He drank a beer; he spilled a beer; and he gave a beer away.
Old Navy description of a young sailor on liberty:
He drank a beer; he spilled a beer; and he gave a beer away.
Great thread!
a variation of, "Does a bear shit in the woods?" that my dad uses often. " Does a zoo bear shit on concrete?"
My grandfather used to recommend chicken shit for chapped lips. When asked why he'd say, "You won't be licking your lips."
"Dumber then a brick bat."
For some military ones...
"Its FAC out here today." FAC= Flat Ass Calm, referring to the sea state.
To a new sailor, "Go down to the DC shop and get the DC punch." When the sailor got there the Damage Controlman would punch them...
To new sailor, "Go get the keys to the sea chest from the Captain." Depending on the CO this one could go on all day. The CO might say, "I gave them to XO." Then the XO would continue by sending them on to someone else.
For a disheveled looking sailor, "You look like 10 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag." Or, " Did you dive on a wrinkle bomb to save the crew?"
I had a salty Senior Chief who always made us do maneuvering boards (a reliable predictor of how ships course and speed will play out over time). Anyway, I remember him yelling anytime he got one that looked too busy, "Two f@#king lines!" That phrase became useful when anyone over thought or over did anything.
a variation of, "Does a bear shit in the woods?" that my dad uses often. " Does a zoo bear shit on concrete?"
My grandfather used to recommend chicken shit for chapped lips. When asked why he'd say, "You won't be licking your lips."
"Dumber then a brick bat."
For some military ones...
"Its FAC out here today." FAC= Flat Ass Calm, referring to the sea state.
To a new sailor, "Go down to the DC shop and get the DC punch." When the sailor got there the Damage Controlman would punch them...
To new sailor, "Go get the keys to the sea chest from the Captain." Depending on the CO this one could go on all day. The CO might say, "I gave them to XO." Then the XO would continue by sending them on to someone else.
For a disheveled looking sailor, "You look like 10 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag." Or, " Did you dive on a wrinkle bomb to save the crew?"
I had a salty Senior Chief who always made us do maneuvering boards (a reliable predictor of how ships course and speed will play out over time). Anyway, I remember him yelling anytime he got one that looked too busy, "Two f@#king lines!" That phrase became useful when anyone over thought or over did anything.
Oh...and, "I shit you not, you're my favorite turd."
On the mess decks aboard ship (the dining hall) we always loved it when the bridge (from which the ship is directed) came on the intercom and said, "Standby for heavy rolls." Which was an invitation to wave your brown-and-serve from the reefer (refrigerator) in the air.
Reveille, reveille, all hands heave out and trice up. The smoking lamp is lighted in all authorized spaces. Now reveille.
My dad used to say- Do what I say do, don't do what I do do.
Haha I forgot this one, a cool variation of - do as I say, not as I do.
Haha I forgot this one, a cool variation of - do as I say, not as I do.
Sending a newbie straight out of Basic on a hunt for "_X_ fathoms of shore line."
or a Radarman having a supply chit typed out and sending the boot to fetch "a box of 'Portable Green Radar Pips'."
Not often applicable in these days of Diesel and Turbine main engines, but an oldie was sending them to fetch "a bucket of steam."
or a Radarman having a supply chit typed out and sending the boot to fetch "a box of 'Portable Green Radar Pips'."
Not often applicable in these days of Diesel and Turbine main engines, but an oldie was sending them to fetch "a bucket of steam."
Aboard ship a standard order for a newbie was to go fetch a sky hook, ordered in an abrupt way that brooked no further questions. When I first went aboard, at one point I was ordered to do "bolt tightening day" on our non-magnetic wooden hulled minesweeper. I thought, oh here we go with the hazing. So I took the wrench they handed me and started tightening one of the million or so bolts holding together the hull. I dutifully did this for a while, and pretty soon I noticed some of the old (to me) senior petty officers were also tightening bolts. The lightening bolt reality check hit me. I was not being hazed. We were fastening together the hull so we wouldn't all go to the bottom together. Welcome aboard. I took a much firmer hand with the wrench.
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