Offical 2021 Stanley Cup Playoff Thread

Log in

SmokingPipes.com Updates

Watch for Updates Twice a Week

PipesMagazine Approved Sponsor

PipesMagazine Approved Sponsor

PipesMagazine Approved Sponsor

PipesMagazine Approved Sponsor

PipesMagazine Approved Sponsor

Status
Not open for further replies.

ashdigger

Lifer
Jul 30, 2016
11,392
70,233
61
Vegas Baby!!!
I think Montreal is going to be tough, but Vegas has been through two knife fights (Minnesota and Colorado) and have been backstopped by different elements of their team.

Need to shut down a top line, sure, the Misfit Line will score and carry the day.

Need to run four hard lines, sure, Vegas’ Blue Liners will score.

Need to play heavy and hard in the corners, sure, we’ll forecheck people into oblivion.

Plus Vegas has been playing in an Arena where you can’t hear yourself think. You can hear a pin drop in Bell Center.

It’ll be fun to watch. Go Knights Go.

9D0B3E4F-5639-4771-B9FA-52E46E482BBF.jpeg
 

alaskanpiper

Enabler in Chief
May 23, 2019
9,431
43,844
Alaska
If I didn’t have immaculate control of my game, and therefore the scorecard, it wouldn’t have been a one stroke event. Fortunately, it was your birthday and I’m a kind bloke. I may have allowed the deficit to grow to ten; no, thirty strokes had Mike and Linda not been present, thereby being forced to bear witness to such an assault on an ostensibly kind fella.

Mind you, Frank, you have but one birthday a year. My alcohol/heat/nicotine cold sweats are gone and I assure you, the disparity betwixt my score and yours shall do nothing but grow, not unlike the distance between our drives.

By the end of the summer, there will be enough strokes between our score cards to match the combined total of tobacco in the cellar of @hoosierpipeguy , @chasingembers, @cigrmaster and the advertised amount at P&C; a threat I don’t take lightly with our limited season.

Consider yourself warned.

On with the hockey.
Big words for someone who managed to hit the fairway with his driver for the first time on 18. Well, the right fairway that is, I think you hit off the neighboring holes fairway, was it 3 times this round or 4? Tough to recall, as I was more worried about how embarrassed Mike and Linda were while we all waited for you to get back on the right fairway. On any course in the lower 48 you’d have lost by 10 strokes (or possibly just been removed by the course marshall).


If you hadn’t forced so much booze on me you’d never have had a chance. But I get it, if you know it’s your only chance to win, what choice did you have?

And to think I haven’t played in 6 years. Once I shake the rust off even that won’t help you. The one thing you got right is that your drive distance is pretty decent for being a small guy. If you keep practicing and get rid of that consistent slice and occasional hook you could break 300 one day. I remember my first time, I think I was 12? Maybe 13?
 

BarrelProof

Lifer
Mar 29, 2020
2,701
10,600
39
The Last Frontier
Big words for someone who managed to hit the fairway with his driver for the first time on 18. Well, the right fairway that is, I think you hit off the neighboring holes fairway, was it 3 times this round or 4? Tough to recall, as I was more worried about how embarrassed Mike and Linda were while we all waited for you to get back on the right fairway. On any course in the lower 48 you’d have lost by 10 strokes (or possibly just been removed by the course marshall).


If you hadn’t forced so much booze on me you’d never have had a chance. But I get it, if you know it’s your only chance to win, what choice did you have?

And to think I haven’t played in 6 years. Once I shake the rust off even that won’t help you. The one thing you got right is that your drive distance is pretty decent for being a small guy. If you keep practicing and get rid of that consistent slice and occasional hook you could break 300 one day. I remember my first time, I think I was 12? Maybe 13?

Man, for such a big fella, I wouldn’t have expected your memory to be so affected by Coors Light!

I did hit my approach on 9 from the tee of 7 and my approach on 14 from the tee of 15, however. At least I aimed for the right greens, though!

I hit the fairway on 4, 6, 7, 13, and 18, so if memory serves me correctly, that means I hit more fairways than the total number of times you pulled your driver out of the bag! Well, at least the amount of times you decided to use it as a driver, I’m not counting the attempts where it looked like a pitching wedge! Good thing Linda was present and we didn’t have to adhere to the long standing rule regarding not hitting a tee shot past the ladies’ tees...

With 5 par 3’s on the course, I’m not too upset with hitting almost half of the fairways after not playing for so long.

Missed 7 birdie putts, too (3, 4, 6, 7, 13, 16, 18).

Only way I’ll hit a 300 yard drive is if I downgrade to the 3 wood, which I might have to do if we keep sharing a cart so our tee shots are closer together.

Shit talking aside, it was really fun. I didn’t realize how much I missed playing until getting back out. I’m already looking forward to the next round. We should try to plan it around the hockey games, though. Looks like we missed a good one yesterday.
 
  • Haha
Reactions: Servant King

ashdigger

Lifer
Jul 30, 2016
11,392
70,233
61
Vegas Baby!!!
Tim, there isn't full crowds in Quebec just yet. I agree that the crowds or lack thereof will be a factor in the series.
Oh I know they are at 2,400. The other day I watched them beat the Jets and then I watched VGK play the Avalanche.

Watching those two games back to back was mind boggling when listening to the crowds. Canada needs to get its shit together.
 

alaskanpiper

Enabler in Chief
May 23, 2019
9,431
43,844
Alaska
Man, for such a big fella, I wouldn’t have expected your memory to be so affected by Coors Light!

I did hit my approach on 9 from the tee of 7 and my approach on 14 from the tee of 15, however. At least I aimed for the right greens, though!

I hit the fairway on 4, 6, 7, 13, and 18, so if memory serves me correctly, that means I hit more fairways than the total number of times you pulled your driver out of the bag! Well, at least the amount of times you decided to use it as a driver, I’m not counting the attempts where it looked like a pitching wedge! Good thing Linda was present and we didn’t have to adhere to the long standing rule regarding not hitting a tee shot past the ladies’ tees...

With 5 par 3’s on the course, I’m not too upset with hitting almost half of the fairways after not playing for so long.

Missed 7 birdie putts, too (3, 4, 6, 7, 13, 16, 18).

Only way I’ll hit a 300 yard drive is if I downgrade to the 3 wood, which I might have to do if we keep sharing a cart so our tee shots are closer together.

Shit talking aside, it was really fun. I didn’t realize how much I missed playing until getting back out. I’m already looking forward to the next round. We should try to plan it around the hockey games, though. Looks like we missed a good one yesterday.
Says the guy who almost puked out my wife's car window on the way home!

Man, clearly your memory does not serve! For a man to hit that many "fairways" (apparently we're counting rough and the edge of the woods as fairways now) and have that many birdie opportunities, to walk away with no birdies and a 90 on the card requires an exceptional ability to fuck up! Also, calling a few 60 footers from the fringe "birdie putts" is a little bit of a stretch. At least I had a birdie putt or two actually lip out!

And you're right, I don't pull the driver out too often. Some of us can actually hit irons long enough that a driver is not required on most holes. But I can see now why you have not one, but two drivers in your bag! In addition to the other 20 clubs you carry in your illegal as hell golf bag.

And yeah it was fun as hell. It's got me wanting to quit my job and just golf. I'm gonna try to get a round on the books every week if possible. Might play AGC with a coworker after work this week if you're interested. Be warned though that on that course you'll have to keep it on the correct fairways, otherwise you're getting your own cart.
 

BarrelProof

Lifer
Mar 29, 2020
2,701
10,600
39
The Last Frontier
Says the guy who almost puked out my wife's car window on the way home!

Man, clearly your memory does not serve! For a man to hit that many "fairways" (apparently we're counting rough and the edge of the woods as fairways now) and have that many birdie opportunities, to walk away with no birdies and a 90 on the card requires an exceptional ability to fuck up! Also, calling a few 60 footers from the fringe "birdie putts" is a little bit of a stretch. At least I had a birdie putt or two actually lip out!

And you're right, I don't pull the driver out too often. Some of us can actually hit irons long enough that a driver is not required on most holes. But I can see now why you have not one, but two drivers in your bag! In addition to the other 20 clubs you carry in your illegal as hell golf bag.

And yeah it was fun as hell. It's got me wanting to quit my job and just golf. I'm gonna try to get a round on the books every week if possible. Might play AGC with a coworker after work this week if you're interested. Be warned though that on that course you'll have to keep it on the correct fairways, otherwise you're getting your own cart.

Yep, no food for 24 hours prior to beer all day and two lips full of Zyn turned out to be a bad idea.

No fairways? Oh how soon we forget. How can you not remember number 6? Don’t you recall me hitting my three wood from the middle of the fairway to the right of the green just hole high? You remember, after your first tee shot went OB a mile right and then your second tee shot was a chip shot that didn’t make the ladies tees. Then you decided to pick up the chip shot tee shot and take a drop somewhere in the vicinity of where the first one left the golf course’s property, promptly knocking it into the bunker. It may have been hard to remember that I was dead nuts center of the fairway on that hole since you took three shots before I took my second one, so I’ll let it slide, no worries.

And since you were in the trees on the left on the seventh hole while I was in the fairway in the middle of whatever the hell that aeration job was, I’ll forgive that one, too, along with the 10’ birdie putt I missed. You were clearly flustered so some amnesia is understandable.

Hitting irons long enough to not need a driver, though? You played 3-4 of your second shots from the ladies’ tees! One of those was after using your driver!!

By the way, were you able to buff out all those new sky marks on your driver from yesterday, or did all of the old ones create a bit of a barrier to new ones?
 

alaskanpiper

Enabler in Chief
May 23, 2019
9,431
43,844
Alaska
Yep, no food for 24 hours prior to beer all day and two lips full of Zyn turned out to be a bad idea.

No fairways? Oh how soon we forget. How can you not remember number 6? Don’t you recall me hitting my three wood from the middle of the fairway to the right of the green just hole high? You remember, after your first tee shot went OB a mile right and then your second tee shot was a chip shot that didn’t make the ladies tees. Then you decided to pick up the chip shot tee shot and take a drop somewhere in the vicinity of where the first one left the golf course’s property, promptly knocking it into the bunker. It may have been hard to remember that I was dead nuts center of the fairway on that hole since you took three shots before I took my second one, so I’ll let it slide, no worries.

And since you were in the trees on the left on the seventh hole while I was in the fairway in the middle of whatever the hell that aeration job was, I’ll forgive that one, too, along with the 10’ birdie putt I missed. You were clearly flustered so some amnesia is understandable.

Hitting irons long enough to not need a driver, though? You played 3-4 of your second shots from the ladies’ tees! One of those was after using your driver!!

By the way, were you able to buff out all those new sky marks on your driver from yesterday, or did all of the old ones create a bit of a barrier to new ones?
How can I not remember number 6? Because your level of play yesterday was entirely forgettable. As was mine.

I don't even remember what number 6 looks like. Unlike you, I haven't played that course hundreds of times (I believe this was my third round at Settler's). Honestly, for me to only lose by one stroke is pretty shameful on your part given your level of course knowledge I would have expected to lose by much more.

Amongst all of your extreme exaggerations and face-saving fabrications, there is one truth though, I did sky my driver once (which is notably unusual, as usually if I miss that club it looks a lot like your standard drive (a massive slice into the woods). And even that (arguably my worst shot of the day) was well beyond the ladies tees, so this "3-4 shots" thing must just be another symptom of your booze filled fever dream. I get that it's all you have to hold on to though, since my 3 iron usually puts me at a similar approach distance as your 3 wood.

And again, hole high in two shots on a par 5 and no birdie? In my world that's nothing to brag about, but I understand how making par in that scenario is an accomplishment for some people.

You can keep on spitting out your alternative facts all you want to save face with your internet friends. The proof is in the pudding, buddy. With a 90 and a 91 on the score card I think the competitiveness of our round speaks for itself (equally shitty). With your massive course knowledge and experience advantage I'd have expected to lose by a lot more.

The bottom line is, I get that you have to save face, and you enjoy talking shit as an artform, but at the end of the day, they don't ask how, they ask how many. And yesterday you managed to eek out a win, so congratulations on that. Enjoy it, because it will be short lived.

Once I shake the rust off, I'd be happy to give you some pointers though. Most notably, keep both your drivers in the bag more. You hit long enough to play well with irons off the tee if you can just learn how to hit them well. Constantly slicing into the woods/other fairways didn't help you one bit.
 

alaskanpiper

Enabler in Chief
May 23, 2019
9,431
43,844
Alaska
Yeah, we should probably let the thread return to it's intended purpose. This banter is all for fun anyway, we both actually had a great time and we both played like shit after long absences from the sport. If you were actually on the course yesterday all you'd have heard was the exact opposite. Both of us shitting all over ourselves for the way we were playing rather than each other, hahaha. And ogling that hot chick gardening in her little gardening suit like a couple of f**king animals.

We have similar roads ahead in improving our game, which will make playing together quite fun.

But like any good amateur sport, being good at golf also requires being good at the art of competitive shit talking, laced with just the right mix of truths that hurt a little and exaggerated bullshit that throws salt in said wound.

I know Boomer won't let me get away with the last word though, so after his next post I'll let it die.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: BarrelProof

Servant King

Lifer
Nov 27, 2020
4,735
27,433
39
Frazier Park, CA
www.thechembow.com
Love to see such a sound drubbing administered to the Habs!

Could've gotten out of control early there, but those were some spectacular saves from Fleury in the first half of the 1st period. Vegas' swarming defense took it from there. Good job staying out of the sin bin too. One down, three to go, then I'm a happy guy again. ??
 

alaskanpiper

Enabler in Chief
May 23, 2019
9,431
43,844
Alaska
Love to see such a sound drubbing administered to the Habs!

Could've gotten out of control early there, but those were some spectacular saves from Fleury in the first half of the 1st period. Vegas' swarming defense took it from there. Good job staying out of the sin bin too. One down, three to go, then I'm a happy guy again. ??
Yeah Fleury was on fire and vegas just pestered the habs to bejesusville. Impressive start for VGK. We’ll see how MTL responds. I think they’ve proven so far that counting them out would be a huge mistake.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Servant King

ashdigger

Lifer
Jul 30, 2016
11,392
70,233
61
Vegas Baby!!!
Excellent game last night. My VGK got off to a slow start but sealed the deal with a quick response to the Caufield goal.

That’s the important take away. That’s how we beat the Avs. Quick response sucks the air out of the opponents momentum.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.