ATTENTION ALL MALES.....I am in Need of Advice

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mso489

Lifer
Feb 21, 2013
41,210
60,454
I think your perception of this and your feelings are more important than the convenience of your method of birth control, so I'd use another method while you come to peace with the vasectomy or going on without it, with other contraception. Unresolved feelings could cause resentment toward your wife or others. Just my sense of it. Depending on your wife's age and biological clock, she will go through menopause in mid-life, and after that, she won't become pregnant, so figure that into it. Get your mind right, then go ahead, or don't.
 
May 2, 2020
4,664
23,771
Louisiana
I think your perception of this and your feelings are more important than the convenience of your method of birth control, so I'd use another method while you come to peace with the vasectomy or going on without it, with other contraception. Unresolved feelings could cause resentment toward your wife or others. Just my sense of it. Depending on your wife's age and biological clock, she will go through menopause in mid-life, and after that, she won't become pregnant, so figure that into it. Get your mind right, then go ahead, or don't.
I’d say that’s pretty sage advice.
 
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didimauw

Moderator
Staff member
Jul 28, 2013
9,953
31,817
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Burlington WI
I never worried about it. I was more looking forward to my wife taking her birth control out.
I'm actually more proud that I got it done, then of I hadn't.

It doesnt hurt, other than the occasional stomach ache feeling when they are doing it. Keep ice on em for a couple days, and don't do any physical labor. Get it done on Friday, relax for the weekend, and go back to work Monday. It was easy peasy.
 
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May 2, 2020
4,664
23,771
Louisiana
If your'e having second thoughts and are unsure about having a vasectomy maybe you should hold off for a while?
The flip side to that though, is that you’ll always have some hesitation. I mean no man in his right mind ever said “boy I sure am excited about having strangers cut open my scrotum and start snipping things! Yay!”
 

Gecko

Can't Leave
Dec 6, 2019
363
717
Sweden
Some god advice to be found above and as others have said it's your decision and yours alone. The most important thing is that you are comfortable with your decision whichever it will be.

Personally I would not do it, you never know how your life will be in 10, 20 or even 30 years. Unforseen things happens and there are plenty of possibilities not known now for wanting or needing to have more children or start a new family in the future.

Haven't seen copper IUDs mentioned in the thread. They are very good, effective and safe. No hormones or chemicals. Not much side effects effects (none at all that I've noticed in my women, past and presant). Easily inserted and removed (by trained professionals) if you ever want to.

 
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mso489

Lifer
Feb 21, 2013
41,210
60,454
Just to get the animal husbandry correct, a vasectomy does not remove the testicles as would be done in "making" a steer or with a horse a gelding. It just makes you sterile, if successful. Even neutering doesn't seem to change as much as assumed; neutered male cats don't spray or brawl over mating, though they do brawl, but they still have the competitive territorial aspect, and they don't seem to have any problem with bone density, which is one of the benefits of testosterone in people, maybe not in cats. It makes sense to at least have clarity on what the surgery is.
 

condorlover1

Lifer
Dec 22, 2013
8,048
27,141
New York
Wow. Makes you wonder if Caitlyn Jenner had a similar conversation. Should I get a cords tied? Nah I just think I'll get rid off Bert and Ernie and get my Johnson walloped with a cleaver to whilst I am about it! With apologies to my inner George Carlin. I guess it is a matter of personal choice. Good luck with your procedure.
 

Apipeinthewoods

Might Stick Around
Jan 24, 2020
88
469
Dublin, Ireland
My wife’s been on me about getting it done. Not a fan of the idea, but I’ll probably do it. I just know with my luck I’ll get in there and the nurse will be someone I know or something ?
I feel your trepidation

This is not aimed directly at you, but your post highlighted it for me.
IMHO, it should be a personal decision. Nobody should be persuaded by or persuade others to get the procedure done.

In a similar situation i would give myself a few months to think about it. If after 5 months my wife tried to persuade me to get it, I'd reset the counter to 6 months to decide.
 
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prairiedruid

Lifer
Jun 30, 2015
2,003
1,132
Had it done when I was 30. Had 2 beautiful daughters and it is far easier and safer to fix the male as opposed to the female. Doctor that did it was the same one that delivered my daughters. Had it done on my birthday and 3 days later I hosted the family Thanksgiving and did all the cooking. Get several bags of frozen peas (more than 2, better safe than sorry) and sweatpants are your friend. Also word of warning; beware of pets that like to hop on your lap for the first week.
 

mso489

Lifer
Feb 21, 2013
41,210
60,454
I'd discuss the reversibility with the urological surgeon in consultation before deciding on this. I think maybe the surgeons doing this might do it a little differently if reversibility is a strong possibility. Also, they'd give you probabilities of success on reversing it, the same way they can give you probabilities on the first surgery being successful. As someone mentioned, it doesn't always "take." Wow, this thread certainly made us sit up and listen.
 
May 2, 2020
4,664
23,771
Louisiana
This is not aimed directly at you, but your post highlighted it for me.
IMHO, it should be a personal decision. Nobody should be persuaded by or persuade others to get the procedure done.

In a similar situation i would give myself a few months to think about it. If after 5 months my wife tried to persuade me to get it, I'd reset the counter to 6 months to decide.
Oh, I told her, and she understood, that I would do it if and when I’m ready. She hasn’t said anything else about it, but I will probably do it. She wants off birth control pills because she feels like they’re making her gain weight. And getting tubes tied is much more serious for them and requires general anesthesia. Our stuff is outpatient and an ice pack.
 

64alex

Part of the Furniture Now
May 10, 2016
566
339
In many cases vasectomy can be reversed.
Said that my best advice is that if you have any question hanging in your mind just postpone until you'll fix your mind, you can always do at a later time if you'll wish.
 
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