A Bar Exam for Pipesmokers

[Ahi Ka]

Lee Three Star, USA

Funny but wrong, even according to councillor @Briar Lee

 

[Fralphog]

Since you’ve agreed not to buy any new pipes for the year do you:

A- only buy estate pipes because they’re used
B- give the money to your best friend and have him buy them
C- have them shipped to a PO Box and then secretly smoke them at your storage unit
D- develop chronic TAD buying tobacco all year long

 

[Zack Miller]

You have a date with Monica Lewinsky. Do you offer her

A. A cigar
B. A Pipe
C. Your friend’s pipe.

 

[Winnipeger]

Which one of the following is worth 40 US dollars in 2023?:

A: a 3-point 5-Star Lee
B: a 6-point 2-Star Lee
C: a 5-point 6-Star Lee
D: a no-point 7-Star Lee
E: none of the above
F: all of the above
G: What's a Lee?
H: My brain is storing too much information about Lee pipes. I need a nap.

 

[coming to_falling too]

It's acceptable to receive Gawith tins in unsealed condition, but not tins from other manufacturers. Explain.

 

[Fralphog]

You just filled your bowl, and now it's go-time. How do you light your pipe?

A) Zippo, but with that fancy pipe insert only old codgers know about. You've earned your place amongst the pipe community because this sacred knowledge was passed down to you, and now the proper insert sits in your lighter with that naked woman silhouette that you usually see on mud flaps. Spin the wheel and place the flame over your bowl and inhale to get that sweet, delicious lighter fluid topping. It'll work in a hurricane, as long as you filled it up any time within the past 6 hours. It's the only way.

B) Fell a tree and chop it up to get that perfect hickory splint to stick in a bonfire to light your bowl. You're standing in the woods in your flannel holding an axe, so you might as well put it to use. That's how your great-great-grandfather lit his pipe, he said it's the best way to do it, and nobody'll dare call him a liar because you're holding an axe. It's the only way.

C) IM Corona Old Boy. You don't know whether to say "I'm" or "Eye Emm", so you just call it a Corona. It probably has gas, but you never worry about it because you bought the Big Can of butane back sometime when there was only one President Bush so you've still got about 80% of the tank left. Just think about spinning the igniter, and that perfect little flame pops out the side and stays long enough to even get Molto Dolce lit. You find a nice spot away from wind or other people breathing or birds flapping or gnats farting and you get your perfect char light. Light tamp with a golf tee and let her rip. It's the only way.

D) Bic EZ Reach. They're like $3. It's the only way.

Well done!
It made me laugh. I love the satire and truth woven into one. The funny thing is I own all three types of lighters. And of course, a stockpile of matches.

 

[Michigan_Bill]

Where do you buy abrasive paper towel?

 

[JJ_JJ_JJ_JJ]

View attachment 194044

r/PipeSmokers has been banned from Reddit​

 

[Jacob74]

Solve the following equation demonstrating that lakeland essence "f" is composed of the mummy dust of Mary Kay. Show proofs.

f (n) = { n if n is even
2
3n+1 if n is odd

 

[cosmicfolklore]

r/PipeSmokers has been banned from Reddit​

Isn't getting banned from Reddit kind of like getting kicked out of a gang for being too criminal?

 

[sablebrush52]

View attachment 194044

This is fucking hilarious! Especially the last panel referencing to the 1Q dedicated S Bang! Hilarious! Who would waste a sublime blend like 1Q to a crap pipe maker like Bang.

 

[sablebrush52]

Isn't getting banned from Reddit kind of like getting kicked out of a gang for being too criminal?

Kind of amazing. I didn't think anything could get kicked out of reddit.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

Kind of amazing. I didn't think anything could get kicked out of reddit.

I am pretty sure that there is a category where you can watch snuff films of hookers, but... no pipes? Ha ha.

 

[CoffeeAndBourbon]

@cosmicfolklore - I think you have the Thread of the Year wrapped up, and in the first month of the year to boot!

 

[vosBghos]

This is fucking hilarious! Especially the last panel referencing to the 1Q dedicated S Bang! Hilarious! Who would waste a sublime blend like 1Q to a crap pipe maker like Bang.

yes Bang is way overrated that's why I smoke my McClelland's out of a broken lightbulb I found behind the dumpster yesterday...

 

[FurCoat]

Since you’ve agreed not to buy any new pipes for the year do you:

A- only buy estate pipes because they’re used
B- give the money to your best friend and have him buy them
C- have them shipped to a PO Box and then secretly smoke them at your storage unit
D- develop chronic TAD buying tobacco all year long

D, D...I pick D!!!

 

[bullet08]

So.. If you pass all these, you can go to Duke University with tobacco scholarship from Duke family?

 

[kcghost]

This is a hilarious thread!!

 

[sablebrush52]

yes Bang is way overrated that's why I smoke my McClelland's out of a broken lightbulb I found behind the dumpster yesterday...

Is it a no name broken light bulb or a high end Danish broken light bulb?

 

[ThermionicScott]

Kind of amazing. I didn't think anything could get kicked out of reddit.

Apparently r/pipetobacco has to walk a fine line to stay there. All the pictures are hidden behind “NSFW” warnings. Which does add a little thrill, I must admit.