A Bar Exam for Pipesmokers

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Peterson314

Can't Leave
Sep 13, 2019
427
3,215
A co-worker sees you smoking a pipe, and he tells you that he just got his first pipe and is working through his first tin--Cult Blood Red Moon. He's having a great time and asks for a recommendation for his next blend. Which do you recommend:

A) Penzance. That ought to slow him down. I mean, really... what's one more person looking for Penzance?
B) Sammy G's Black XX Rope. Some people like to wear floaties and play in the kiddie pool, but ain't nobody got time for that. You're more of a "throw you in the lake and see if you make it back to the boat" kind of guy.
C) C&D's Syrian Trawler. His girlfriend said that she actually likes the smell of his pipe tobacco. We can fix that problem.
D) Billy Budd. Some C&D blends you either love or hate. Let's go ahead and throw the gauntlet so he knows what he's getting into.
E) Autumn Evening. You've been looking for some idiot a new smoker to offload this jar for years now.
 

Streeper541

Lifer
Jun 16, 2021
3,043
19,232
43
Spencer, OH
A co-worker sees you smoking a pipe, and he tells you that he just got his first pipe and is working through his first tin--Cult Blood Red Moon. He's having a great time and asks for a recommendation for his next blend. Which do you recommend:

A) Penzance. That ought to slow him down. I mean, really... what's one more person looking for Penzance?
B) Sammy G's Black XX Rope. Some people like to wear floaties and play in the kiddie pool, but ain't nobody got time for that. You're more of a "throw you in the lake and see if you make it back to the boat" kind of guy.
C) C&D's Syrian Trawler. His girlfriend said that she actually likes the smell of his pipe tobacco. We can fix that problem.
D) Billy Budd. Some C&D blends you either love or hate. Let's go ahead and throw the gauntlet so he knows what he's getting into.
E) Autumn Evening. You've been looking for some idiot a new smoker to offload this jar for years now.
Peterson Irish Flake puffy
 
A co-worker sees you smoking a pipe, and he tells you that he just got his first pipe and is working through his first tin--Cult Blood Red Moon. He's having a great time and asks for a recommendation for his next blend. Which do you recommend:

A) Penzance. That ought to slow him down. I mean, really... what's one more person looking for Penzance?
B) Sammy G's Black XX Rope. Some people like to wear floaties and play in the kiddie pool, but ain't nobody got time for that. You're more of a "throw you in the lake and see if you make it back to the boat" kind of guy.
C) C&D's Syrian Trawler. His girlfriend said that she actually likes the smell of his pipe tobacco. We can fix that problem.
D) Billy Budd. Some C&D blends you either love or hate. Let's go ahead and throw the gauntlet so he knows what he's getting into.
E) Autumn Evening. You've been looking for some idiot a new smoker to offload this jar for years now.
B of course!!!
 

sablebrush52

The Bard Of Barlings
Jun 15, 2013
19,632
44,858
Southern Oregon
jrs457.wixsite.com
A co-worker sees you smoking a pipe, and he tells you that he just got his first pipe and is working through his first tin--Cult Blood Red Moon. He's having a great time and asks for a recommendation for his next blend. Which do you recommend:

A) Penzance. That ought to slow him down. I mean, really... what's one more person looking for Penzance?
B) Sammy G's Black XX Rope. Some people like to wear floaties and play in the kiddie pool, but ain't nobody got time for that. You're more of a "throw you in the lake and see if you make it back to the boat" kind of guy.
C) C&D's Syrian Trawler. His girlfriend said that she actually likes the smell of his pipe tobacco. We can fix that problem.
D) Billy Budd. Some C&D blends you either love or hate. Let's go ahead and throw the gauntlet so he knows what he's getting into.
E) Autumn Evening. You've been looking for some idiot a new smoker to offload this jar for years now.
F. Lane TK-6 which is Cult without the tin.
 

vecchio

Lurker
Jan 31, 2021
30
110
Tampa, FL
Pipesmoking was invented by:
A. Native Americans
B. Sherlock Holmes
C. Danish sailors
D. the Chinese

The proper reply to "Why do you smoke a pipe?" is:
A. "It makes me smarter"
B. "Shut up"
C. "I have no idea"
D. "Because it is easier than putting the tobacco directly into my mouth and lighting it there"

If you have to relight your pipe before it has burned all the tobacco, it means that:
A. For some reason, it went out
B. You have failed as a pipesmoker
C. You should sit closer to the fire
D. You're using too much tobacco

The proper way to clean your pipe is:
A. Rinsing it out under a running faucet
B. This is a trick question; never clean a pipe
C. With compressed air at 3000psi
D. Buy a new one
 

FurCoat

Lifer
Sep 21, 2020
8,770
78,527
North Carolina
A co-worker sees you smoking a pipe, and he tells you that he just got his first pipe and is working through his first tin--Cult Blood Red Moon. He's having a great time and asks for a recommendation for his next blend. Which do you recommend:

A) Penzance. That ought to slow him down. I mean, really... what's one more person looking for Penzance?
B) Sammy G's Black XX Rope. Some people like to wear floaties and play in the kiddie pool, but ain't nobody got time for that. You're more of a "throw you in the lake and see if you make it back to the boat" kind of guy.
C) C&D's Syrian Trawler. His girlfriend said that she actually likes the smell of his pipe tobacco. We can fix that problem.
D) Billy Budd. Some C&D blends you either love or hate. Let's go ahead and throw the gauntlet so he knows what he's getting into.
E) Autumn Evening. You've been looking for some idiot a new smoker to offload this jar for years now.
All of the above.
 

TheWhale13

Part of the Furniture Now
Aug 12, 2021
803
3,417
Sweden
As a pipe smoker, do you brush your teeth?

A: When the toothpaste makes your mouth tingle.
B: When your wife has to open the window sitting in the passenger seat.
C: When oncoming traffic slows down when you smile.
D: When your hygienist gets out a dremel?
One should not smoke until your teeth becomes the color of a beautiful Tuscan sunset. I blind myself with my pearly yellows when walking past my mirror. Why brush teeth when you can savor the aftertaste?
 
As a pipe smoker, do you brush your teeth?

A: When the toothpaste makes your mouth tingle.
B: When your wife has to open the window sitting in the passenger seat.
C: When oncoming traffic slows down when you smile.
D: When your hygienist gets out a dremel?
You have to build up a good cake and then keep it trimmed to the thickness of a creditcard. puffy
 
Feb 12, 2022
3,405
46,970
31
North Georgia mountains.
How does your spouse feel about smoking ?

A) Loves the smell and supports the hobby
B) Hates the smell and discourages the hobby anywhere around her
C) Puts up with the hobby because you fund her hobbies
D) Thinks you spend too much time online with internet guys and too much money on tobacco and dislikes all of it.

I'm lucky to fall into the A category. I married a saint
 

dunnyboy

Lifer
Jul 6, 2018
2,413
29,266
New York
How does your spouse feel about smoking ?

A) Loves the smell and supports the hobby
B) Hates the smell and discourages the hobby anywhere around her
C) Puts up with the hobby because you fund her hobbies
D) Thinks you spend too much time online with internet guys and too much money on tobacco and dislikes all of it.

I'm lucky to fall into the A category. I married a saint
You're a lucky guy! But how does she feel about jazz and vinyl?