You just filled your bowl, and now it's go-time. How do you light your pipe?
A) Zippo, but with that fancy pipe insert only old codgers know about. You've earned your place amongst the pipe community because this sacred knowledge was passed down to you, and now the proper insert sits in your lighter with that naked woman silhouette that you usually see on mud flaps. Spin the wheel and place the flame over your bowl and inhale to get that sweet, delicious lighter fluid topping. It'll work in a hurricane, as long as you filled it up any time within the past 6 hours. It's the only way.
B) Fell a tree and chop it up to get that perfect hickory splint to stick in a bonfire to light your bowl. You're standing in the woods in your flannel holding an axe, so you might as well put it to use. That's how your great-great-grandfather lit his pipe, he said it's the best way to do it, and nobody'll dare call him a liar because you're holding an axe. It's the only way.
C) IM Corona Old Boy. You don't know whether to say "I'm" or "Eye Emm", so you just call it a Corona. It probably has gas, but you never worry about it because you bought the Big Can of butane back sometime when there was only one President Bush so you've still got about 80% of the tank left. Just think about spinning the igniter, and that perfect little flame pops out the side and stays long enough to even get Molto Dolce lit. You find a nice spot away from wind or other people breathing or birds flapping or gnats farting and you get your perfect char light. Light tamp with a golf tee and let her rip. It's the only way.
D) Bic EZ Reach. They're like $3. It's the only way.
