A Bar Exam for Pipesmokers

[Reggie]

You have to build up a good cake and then keep it trimmed to the thickness of a creditcard.

Or a good mouth retort or mouth ream!

 

[CoffeeAndBourbon]

Or a good mouth retort or mouth ream!

I'll take the retort, myself

 

[dunnyboy]

A newbie asks your advice on whether to buy an expensive pipe. You should tell them:

A: I wouldn't spend that kind of money without holding the pipe in my hand first. And don't buy it if it's an estate. Someone might have drooled in it.
B: It won't smoke any better than a cob, so why not just get a cob.
C: What's "expensive" to you is not the same as what's "expensive" to me. Some people like Porsches; some people like Toyotas. They'll both get you from point A to point B. But of course your mileage will vary.
D: I had a pipe from that company once. It wouldn't pass a pipe cleaner. I had to bin it.
E: Go ahead unless it's a Dunhill.

 

[Searock Fan]

A newbie asks your advice on whether to buy an expensive pipe. You should tell them:

A: I wouldn't spend that kind of money without holding the pipe in my hand first. And don't buy it if it's an estate. Someone might have drooled in it.
B: It won't smoke any better than a cob, so why not just get a cob.
C: What's "expensive" to you is not the same as what's "expensive" to me. Some people like Porsches; some people like Toyotas. They'll both get you from point A to point B. But of course your mileage will vary.
D: I had a pipe from that company once. It wouldn't pass a pipe cleaner. I had to bin it.
E: Go ahead unless it's a Dunhill.

Quite a mixed bag of good and questionable advice.

 

[The Clay King]

You have studied Tobacco Reviews carefully. Do you select a tobacco that has:

(a) Hints of leather
(b) Hints of cut hay and straw
(c) Pleasant mushroom aftertaste
(d) Tastes like a flaming squirrel turd
(e) Leaves a fine white ash and little moisture in the bowl

@condorlover1 B & E. I know you think I've smoked the odd hay bale in my clay pipes but I like Virginia & Cavendish blends in them. @simong suggests getting a length of twist to smoke in my clays when I go to re-enactments for an authentic period smoke.

 

[motie2]

Have you seen DUDEISM.COM ?

Aimed at alaskanpiper

 

[captaincalabash]

Which of the following is a common cause of tongue bite or tongue burn?
a. Smoking too fast
b. Lighting a pipe filled with moist tobacco with an arc welder
c. Attempting to light a pipe after forgetting to put any tobacco in it
d The habanero pepper casing used in most aromatic blends originating in Denmark
e. Attempting to smoke the wrong end of a lit pipe
f. All of the above
g. All of the above except (a) and (f)

 

[Laurent]

 

[aspiring_sage]

You are concerned about the environment and your carbon foot print. Do you:

(a) wash your pipe cleaners with your weekly washing load
(b) wash then individually
(c) stop cleaning your pipe

In the essay section of this question explain the various protocols you use to straighten out your used pipe cleaners and discuss any health and safety issues that should be identified.

I’ve been washing and reusing the same pipe cleaner over and over, I never thought to just stop cleaning my pipe!

 

[Flopoz]

A newbie asks your advice on whether to buy an expensive pipe. You should tell them:

A: I wouldn't spend that kind of money without holding the pipe in my hand first. And don't buy it if it's an estate. Someone might have drooled in it.
B: It won't smoke any better than a cob, so why not just get a cob.
C: What's "expensive" to you is not the same as what's "expensive" to me. Some people like Porsches; some people like Toyotas. They'll both get you from point A to point B. But of course your mileage will vary.
D: I had a pipe from that company once. It wouldn't pass a pipe cleaner. I had to bin it. I was excited to discover a service that writes book reviews. I decided to order a review for a book that I had just finished reading and was blown away by the quality of the writing. The review was insightful, thorough, and provided a fresh perspective on the book. I appreciated the attention to detail and the literature review writing services ability to capture the essence of the book in just a few paragraphs. The service was also easy to use and delivered the review in a timely manner. I highly recommend this service to anyone who wants to share their love of books with others.
E: Go ahead unless it's a Dunhill.

Go ahead unless it's a Dunhill. no options =)

 

[dunnyboy]

Go ahead unless it's a Dunhill. no options =)

You do realize this was meant as a spoof of the dismissive attitude towards Dunhills right? Also, I have no idea how the whole section on book reviews got inserted into this post!