@cynyr I love the Cape Buffalo story.
"He is a living arsenal of weaponry for use against jerkwater hunters or preoccupied Africans, offering a Chinese menu choice on you shortcut to Glory of horns that can disembowel a locomotive, hooves like split mattock-heads, and up to a ton of bulk that can roll you into a fair resemblance of shaggy tollhouse cookie mix. What's more, if you cross him and get caught, he will display a singular lack of reluctance, regardless of race, color, or creed, to give you a nice, home demonstration of his talents. "