New sailors would get sent to admin and told their "ID10T" (I-D-ten-T) form had an error on it and needed to be fixed...some times it was they needed a "PEN -15" requisition form.
Funny And Odd Sayings From Our Elders
- Thread starter Tommy Boy
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Those military indoctrination pranks go way back.
During Boy Scouts, the new guy would be sent to look for a left handed smoke shifter. Each unit leader would send the poor bastard stomping over the next hill to the furthest unit.
When they finally returned defeated, they would find the initial requestor waving a paper plate at the fire with his left hand saying, "Never mind. I found it."
In the army, the commo guy would send you to find a can of squelch. Once in the motor pool, the unsuspecting private would be sent to find the road wheel pump. (they are solid rubber)
An occasional treat would be to see a new soldier jumping up and down atop a Bradley while the grinning squad leader was "checking the shocks".
During Boy Scouts, the new guy would be sent to look for a left handed smoke shifter. Each unit leader would send the poor bastard stomping over the next hill to the furthest unit.
When they finally returned defeated, they would find the initial requestor waving a paper plate at the fire with his left hand saying, "Never mind. I found it."
In the army, the commo guy would send you to find a can of squelch. Once in the motor pool, the unsuspecting private would be sent to find the road wheel pump. (they are solid rubber)
An occasional treat would be to see a new soldier jumping up and down atop a Bradley while the grinning squad leader was "checking the shocks".
My Dad used to say he would "Beat the back off my ass"
A old now retired coworker of mine use to say you're so slow you couldn't even catch the flu to our slower summertime temps.
"He took that like Grant took Richmond" (i.e. gobbled it down, seized it without hesitation, etc.).
I never heard it used in real life, but in the movie Reservoir Dogs Lawrence Tierney's character Joe answers the question "Mr. Blue is dead?" with the line: "Dead as Dillinger."
“Measure once, cuss twice”
“If i shot her when i wanted to, I’d be out by now”
“Famous last words:watch this”
“Do one to others before they do one to you”
“You just used your entire allotment of dumb luck”
“Second Wednesday next week”
“If i shot her when i wanted to, I’d be out by now”
“Famous last words:watch this”
“Do one to others before they do one to you”
“You just used your entire allotment of dumb luck”
“Second Wednesday next week”
Not an old saying, but one I've come up with and used on a few deserving sloths, "Slow as molasses on metallic hydrogen."
A comedian once said, "That boy's so slow, it takes him two hours to watch 60 minutes."
I just heard a new saying yesterday. Thats tougher than getting a picture of a black cat in a coal mine. I heard that from a old guy trying to eat his steak across from me and my wife on on our night out.
Years ago in a gig with what was then the Veterans Administration, because I was a veteran who needed a job to join the middle class, I worked with a retired Army colonel who had a good line, since he was the oldest man in the training group: "A new broom sweeps cleanest, but an old broom knows where the dirt is."
My Dad calls all snakes “Mr. No-Shoulders”
Claims he isn’t afraid of snakes, but when we’re out kayaking he talks about them constantly (near any weeds, you gotta “look out for Mr. No Shoulders”) and he will splash his paddle hard in the water to try and scare one away if it’s anywhere even somewhat close to his boat, as if a snake is going to swim up to your boat and attack you
Claims he isn’t afraid of snakes, but when we’re out kayaking he talks about them constantly (near any weeds, you gotta “look out for Mr. No Shoulders”) and he will splash his paddle hard in the water to try and scare one away if it’s anywhere even somewhat close to his boat, as if a snake is going to swim up to your boat and attack you
I also know this wealthy old farmer who I'm pretty sure just makes up these sayings off the top of his head, but they never make any sense at all. He's a very outgoing, gregarious guy. Fun to talk to and always has a story to tell. He'll say things like "Hell, son! That's like tryin' to brush a catfish's teeth on a Wednesday!"
? Ok, you laugh, but I had that happen once! I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the old Skeeter boats, but the sides slope in towards the top, just like this picture:
I once had a water moccasin that was determined as all hell to get in the boat with me. And because of the way those old Skeeters were shaped, it was plenty possible for him to get in there. I usually don’t bother snakes, and let them have their space, but I had to give that one the business end of the boat paddle because he just wouldn’t give up. So give your old man some credit on that one! ?
You/it/they is/are... ...as much use as a chocolate tea pot.
My dad and paw paw had a bunch...
When they wanted to slip out of a conversation, they always said... “I gotta see a man about a horse.”
The one I was told all the time. “Want in one hand, shit in the other, and see which one fills up the fastest.”
All dogs were called “shithead,” even if they loved it more than me.
“dumber than a bag of dicks”
when asked how they were, they always responded, “fair to midland, I guess.”
Stuff non-Southerners never understand...
“get out of the floor”
“Fixin’ dinner”
Plates of food are called “fixins”
And “this is slap ya momma good”
When they wanted to slip out of a conversation, they always said... “I gotta see a man about a horse.”
The one I was told all the time. “Want in one hand, shit in the other, and see which one fills up the fastest.”
All dogs were called “shithead,” even if they loved it more than me.
“dumber than a bag of dicks”
when asked how they were, they always responded, “fair to midland, I guess.”
Stuff non-Southerners never understand...
“get out of the floor”
“Fixin’ dinner”
Plates of food are called “fixins”
And “this is slap ya momma good”
Or “as much use as tits on a boar hog?” I heard that one on occasion.
Just remembered one from my grandfather commenting on my inability to find the wrench he asked for..." You couldn't find Joe Louis in a bowl of rice"
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