From my Dad "sweet sufferin' old dog shit, Morris".
My buddies still pull that one out every now and then.
My buddies still pull that one out every now and then.
Funny And Odd Sayings From Our Elders
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From my buddies Dad (born in Ireland) "yer Man down the road".
Growing up in farm country the old farmers had a ton of sayings though they could be a bit crude:
"Raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock."
"Hotter than two rats effing in a wool sock."
"Raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock."
"Hotter than two rats effing in a wool sock."
"Just drink/eat it. It's good for what ails you. It'll make the hair grow on your teeth!" (Dad)
"Boys should be raised in a barrel and fed through the bunghole until they're 21" (Grandmother, I think quoting her mom)
"You're looking like a bag-full of smashed assholes with all the pretty ones picked out." (former shipmate)
refer to a fart as "barking spiders!" (shipmate)
"Float-Test it." (all sailors everywhere, everywhen)
"Ensign who?" (shipmate, in response to anybody else's fart)
"Gotta shake the dew off my lizard" (shipmate, had to pee)
"Boys should be raised in a barrel and fed through the bunghole until they're 21" (Grandmother, I think quoting her mom)
"You're looking like a bag-full of smashed assholes with all the pretty ones picked out." (former shipmate)
refer to a fart as "barking spiders!" (shipmate)
"Float-Test it." (all sailors everywhere, everywhen)
"Ensign who?" (shipmate, in response to anybody else's fart)
"Gotta shake the dew off my lizard" (shipmate, had to pee)
More messed up than a snake in a lawnmower.
My buddy used to say..."well fuck me a-running". Not exactly what it meant but I use it all the time.
Always found "the rule of thumb" an interesting saying...
My buddy used to say..."well fuck me a-running". Not exactly what it meant but I use it all the time.
Always found "the rule of thumb" an interesting saying...
Grandpa use to also use " Look at you with your store bought_________ " shirt, shoes, haircut, paper whatever as an insult when he was mad.
My wife's family is rooted in rural northeast Missouri near the Iowa line and the Mississippi River. Her mom's family would speak of "not being work brittle." This is confusing because it meant that if you felt energetic and ready for a day's work, you DID feel work brittle, which seems backwards or counterintuitive, but that was the way the idiom came down. My wife claims her lineage as English, French, Scandinavian, and Osage; I'm supposing that this came with the English roots. My father referring to a tough cut of meat used to say it was "tougher than boiled owl." My folks used to call an ornery older woman as "an old battle ax."
“Sticks out like a turd in a bowl of milk”
“This machine ain’t got enough power to pull a sick whore off the piss pot.”
(When Broke with late bills) “What are they gonna do, take away my birthday?”
“You two could fuck up an anvil in a sand pit barehanded.”
“This machine ain’t got enough power to pull a sick whore off the piss pot.”
(When Broke with late bills) “What are they gonna do, take away my birthday?”
“You two could fuck up an anvil in a sand pit barehanded.”
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Couple of quotes from my Dad. He passed 2 years ago, still miss him. A good dude.
"You can call me anything...as long as it's not late for breakfast".
"Often wrong. Seldom in doubt"
"You can call me anything...as long as it's not late for breakfast".
"Often wrong. Seldom in doubt"
My dad would always tell me after I had screwed up and he caught me, “if you’re gonna be stupid, you’d better be tuff”....still slays me to this day
"aint worth a f#$k with a hole in it"
"Hes got more money that carter has liver pills"
"Using the wrong tool is like jerking off, it might be fun, but it don't get you no where."
"if you gotta be dumb, don't be stupid."
My grandad was a real character, he had many.. he also would call the end piece of the bread the anus, never figured that one out. He'd say it with a table full of people, just like it was normal.
"Hes got more money that carter has liver pills"
"Using the wrong tool is like jerking off, it might be fun, but it don't get you no where."
"if you gotta be dumb, don't be stupid."
My grandad was a real character, he had many.. he also would call the end piece of the bread the anus, never figured that one out. He'd say it with a table full of people, just like it was normal.
"Sweating like a whore in church" - dad
"You make your bed, you lie in it" - dad
"greased lighting (i.e. diarrhea)" - maternal grandfather
"burnt Irishmen" - maternal great-grandmother (anyone of dark skin complexion)
"You make your bed, you lie in it" - dad
"greased lighting (i.e. diarrhea)" - maternal grandfather
"burnt Irishmen" - maternal great-grandmother (anyone of dark skin complexion)
I literally said this to someone last night when he suggested we take a conversation outside.
I once heard a guy say, “if brains was gasoline he wouldn’t have enough to drive a piss ant’s go-kart halfway around a cheerio track.”
My Cajun Grampaw favorite was You can make me eat ?, just don’t tell me it’s Buttet!
My Lebanese grandmother would angrily refer to my grandfather as “Baizot” (rhymes with “my coat”)...to this day, I can not find any Arabic insult that matches. Anybody here have any insight? I’d love to solve that one.
Very funny posts guys im enjoying reading them and taking comfort in the fact that my family is normal ish lol
Slicker than deer guts on a door knob.
That dog won't hunt.
You look like you kissed a freight train going 80.
The louder the roar, the bigger the snore.
You look like you've been whopped by the ugly stick.
You talk and lie out of both sides of your mouth.
The fecal matter has hit the spinning blades.
You suffer from a rectal linear inversion.
That dog won't hunt.
You look like you kissed a freight train going 80.
The louder the roar, the bigger the snore.
You look like you've been whopped by the ugly stick.
You talk and lie out of both sides of your mouth.
The fecal matter has hit the spinning blades.
You suffer from a rectal linear inversion.
Ugly enough to make a freight train take a dirt road.
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