The (Un)Official PipesMagazine Secret Santa Thread 2022!
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My wife’s question to me as well
Direct lift from last year. I don't have time to embellish it any further right now:
*******
So, there I was, a photographer for The Philadelphia Inquirer. We were the the #4 or #5 paper in the country at the time, a major contributor to The Associated Press and the Knight-Ridder national news wire. I was at a nightclub in Cherry Hill, NJ to make pictures of a drag night, featuring some well-known (at the time) drag queens. Arriving a bit later than I'd hoped (but still an hour early) I was slaloming through the club, headed for the dressing rooms, when a big, beefy arm reached out from the crowd and stopped me cold. The arm was attached to squat, musclebound chunk of humanity who immediately chided me for an unforgivable infraction.
"Aren't you going to take a picture of Mariah Carey?" he said, with his best North Jersey drone.
Never one to respond well to prescribed behavior or grunted commands, I did what I do best, which is the opposite of what they want.
"Who?" I said.
"Mariah Carey, Mariah Carey!" he stammered.
Damn if she wasn't standing right there, nestled between two sides of beef, with a stupid fake smile on her surgically-scrubbed face. I looked past her, scanned the room and said "Who is she?"
Mariah Carey turned from smiles to scorn and sniped "Take my picture!" Side of Beef #1 just kept stammering "Mariah Carey, Mariah Carey!". Side of Beef #1 kept muttering "Hey!" over and over.
"I'm sorry, who is that, I don't know her?" I said, feigning ignorance.
"Mariah Carey, Mariah Carey!" Side of Beef #1 kept saying.
"I'm really sorry, but I have a drag queen show to shoot right now. It's for tomorrow's paper. AP is waiting on a special"
Mariah turned bright red, about to pop a gasket. She took two steps back and slammed into the bar, spilling half of her drink, eyes rivited on me. Side of Beef #1 and #2 took two steps towards me, beefy arms extended. I made a lateral shift and disappeared into the crowd.
In the distance, I could just faintly make out the plaintive wail "Mariah Carey, Mariah Carey!"
(It's a story that just gets bigger, and better with time. Yes, I am a mighty fan of Dr. Suess's "To Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street")
**********
*******
So, there I was, a photographer for The Philadelphia Inquirer. We were the the #4 or #5 paper in the country at the time, a major contributor to The Associated Press and the Knight-Ridder national news wire. I was at a nightclub in Cherry Hill, NJ to make pictures of a drag night, featuring some well-known (at the time) drag queens. Arriving a bit later than I'd hoped (but still an hour early) I was slaloming through the club, headed for the dressing rooms, when a big, beefy arm reached out from the crowd and stopped me cold. The arm was attached to squat, musclebound chunk of humanity who immediately chided me for an unforgivable infraction.
"Aren't you going to take a picture of Mariah Carey?" he said, with his best North Jersey drone.
Never one to respond well to prescribed behavior or grunted commands, I did what I do best, which is the opposite of what they want.
"Who?" I said.
"Mariah Carey, Mariah Carey!" he stammered.
Damn if she wasn't standing right there, nestled between two sides of beef, with a stupid fake smile on her surgically-scrubbed face. I looked past her, scanned the room and said "Who is she?"
Mariah Carey turned from smiles to scorn and sniped "Take my picture!" Side of Beef #1 just kept stammering "Mariah Carey, Mariah Carey!". Side of Beef #1 kept muttering "Hey!" over and over.
"I'm sorry, who is that, I don't know her?" I said, feigning ignorance.
"Mariah Carey, Mariah Carey!" Side of Beef #1 kept saying.
"I'm really sorry, but I have a drag queen show to shoot right now. It's for tomorrow's paper. AP is waiting on a special"
Mariah turned bright red, about to pop a gasket. She took two steps back and slammed into the bar, spilling half of her drink, eyes rivited on me. Side of Beef #1 and #2 took two steps towards me, beefy arms extended. I made a lateral shift and disappeared into the crowd.
In the distance, I could just faintly make out the plaintive wail "Mariah Carey, Mariah Carey!"
(It's a story that just gets bigger, and better with time. Yes, I am a mighty fan of Dr. Suess's "To Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street")
**********
Thats the real Christmas Carol right there
Direct lift from last year. I don't have time to embellish it any further right now:
*******
So, there I was, a photographer for The Philadelphia Inquirer. We were the the #4 or #5 paper in the country at the time, a major contributor to The Associated Press and the Knight-Ridder national news wire. I was at a nightclub in Cherry Hill, NJ to make pictures of a drag night, featuring some well-known (at the time) drag queens. Arriving a bit later than I'd hoped (but still an hour early) I was slaloming through the club, headed for the dressing rooms, when a big, beefy arm reached out from the crowd and stopped me cold. The arm was attached to squat, musclebound chunk of humanity who immediately chided me for an unforgivable infraction.
"Aren't you going to take a picture of Mariah Carey?" he said, with his best North Jersey drone.
Never one to respond well to prescribed behavior or grunted commands, I did what I do best, which is the opposite of what they want.
"Who?" I said.
"Mariah Carey, Mariah Carey!" he stammered.
Damn if she wasn't standing right there, nestled between two sides of beef, with a stupid fake smile on her surgically-scrubbed face. I looked past her, scanned the room and said "Who is she?"
Mariah Carey turned from smiles to scorn and sniped "Take my picture!" Side of Beef #1 just kept stammering "Mariah Carey, Mariah Carey!". Side of Beef #1 kept muttering "Hey!" over and over.
"I'm sorry, who is that, I don't know her?" I said, feigning ignorance.
"Mariah Carey, Mariah Carey!" Side of Beef #1 kept saying.
"I'm really sorry, but I have a drag queen show to shoot right now. It's for tomorrow's paper. AP is waiting on a special"
Mariah turned bright red, about to pop a gasket. She took two steps back and slammed into the bar, spilling half of her drink, eyes rivited on me. Side of Beef #1 and #2 took two steps towards me, beefy arms extended. I made a lateral shift and disappeared into the crowd.
In the distance, I could just faintly make out the plaintive wail "Mariah Carey, Mariah Carey!"
(It's a story that just gets bigger, and better with time. Yes, I am a mighty fan of Dr. Suess's "To Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street")
**********
Damn Dan, are you gonna tell us who Mariah Carey is or not?
Beats the shit out of me.
To quote Merle Kessler: "I gotta go"
To quote Merle Kessler: "I gotta go"
Being newer to this community, I am not quite sure what I have just involved myself in (seems like you all have lots of personal awkward family photos to share…), but I would like to participate in the merriment (or perhaps utter disaster) of gifting and sharing tobacco.
My preferences are towards Balkan blends, however, I have also been wanting to try some more prominent Virginia blends. I have very much enjoyed blends by Russ Ouellette such as Bengal Slices, but have not had the pleasure of smoking his H&H Marquee series.
I stay away from aromatics and am not am huge fan of more prominent burley blends.
I also enjoy long walks on the beach, candle lit dinners, and …..oh wait wrong forum…
My preferences are towards Balkan blends, however, I have also been wanting to try some more prominent Virginia blends. I have very much enjoyed blends by Russ Ouellette such as Bengal Slices, but have not had the pleasure of smoking his H&H Marquee series.
I stay away from aromatics and am not am huge fan of more prominent burley blends.
I also enjoy long walks on the beach, candle lit dinners, and …..oh wait wrong forum…
You know, you might have gotten an excellent psychotic lay out of this if you have played it a little differently. Then you would have had another Mariah Carey story.Direct lift from last year. I don't have time to embellish it any further right now:
*******
So, there I was, a photographer for The Philadelphia Inquirer. We were the the #4 or #5 paper in the country at the time, a major contributor to The Associated Press and the Knight-Ridder national news wire. I was at a nightclub in Cherry Hill, NJ to make pictures of a drag night, featuring some well-known (at the time) drag queens. Arriving a bit later than I'd hoped (but still an hour early) I was slaloming through the club, headed for the dressing rooms, when a big, beefy arm reached out from the crowd and stopped me cold. The arm was attached to squat, musclebound chunk of humanity who immediately chided me for an unforgivable infraction.
"Aren't you going to take a picture of Mariah Carey?" he said, with his best North Jersey drone.
Never one to respond well to prescribed behavior or grunted commands, I did what I do best, which is the opposite of what they want.
"Who?" I said.
"Mariah Carey, Mariah Carey!" he stammered.
Damn if she wasn't standing right there, nestled between two sides of beef, with a stupid fake smile on her surgically-scrubbed face. I looked past her, scanned the room and said "Who is she?"
Mariah Carey turned from smiles to scorn and sniped "Take my picture!" Side of Beef #1 just kept stammering "Mariah Carey, Mariah Carey!". Side of Beef #1 kept muttering "Hey!" over and over.
"I'm sorry, who is that, I don't know her?" I said, feigning ignorance.
"Mariah Carey, Mariah Carey!" Side of Beef #1 kept saying.
"I'm really sorry, but I have a drag queen show to shoot right now. It's for tomorrow's paper. AP is waiting on a special"
Mariah turned bright red, about to pop a gasket. She took two steps back and slammed into the bar, spilling half of her drink, eyes rivited on me. Side of Beef #1 and #2 took two steps towards me, beefy arms extended. I made a lateral shift and disappeared into the crowd.
In the distance, I could just faintly make out the plaintive wail "Mariah Carey, Mariah Carey!"
(It's a story that just gets bigger, and better with time. Yes, I am a mighty fan of Dr. Suess's "To Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street")
**********
I think the boys follow her everywhere. And I just don’t roll that way.
Don’t be mean, be merry this Christmas.
TBH, don’t think Julie would be bothered either way.
Direct lift from last year. I don't have time to embellish it any further right now:
*******
So, there I was, a photographer for The Philadelphia Inquirer. We were the the #4 or #5 paper in the country at the time, a major contributor to The Associated Press and the Knight-Ridder national news wire. I was at a nightclub in Cherry Hill, NJ to make pictures of a drag night, featuring some well-known (at the time) drag queens. Arriving a bit later than I'd hoped (but still an hour early) I was slaloming through the club, headed for the dressing rooms, when a big, beefy arm reached out from the crowd and stopped me cold. The arm was attached to squat, musclebound chunk of humanity who immediately chided me for an unforgivable infraction.
"Aren't you going to take a picture of Mariah Carey?" he said, with his best North Jersey drone.
Never one to respond well to prescribed behavior or grunted commands, I did what I do best, which is the opposite of what they want.
"Who?" I said.
"Mariah Carey, Mariah Carey!" he stammered.
Damn if she wasn't standing right there, nestled between two sides of beef, with a stupid fake smile on her surgically-scrubbed face. I looked past her, scanned the room and said "Who is she?"
Mariah Carey turned from smiles to scorn and sniped "Take my picture!" Side of Beef #1 just kept stammering "Mariah Carey, Mariah Carey!". Side of Beef #1 kept muttering "Hey!" over and over.
"I'm sorry, who is that, I don't know her?" I said, feigning ignorance.
"Mariah Carey, Mariah Carey!" Side of Beef #1 kept saying.
"I'm really sorry, but I have a drag queen show to shoot right now. It's for tomorrow's paper. AP is waiting on a special"
Mariah turned bright red, about to pop a gasket. She took two steps back and slammed into the bar, spilling half of her drink, eyes rivited on me. Side of Beef #1 and #2 took two steps towards me, beefy arms extended. I made a lateral shift and disappeared into the crowd.
In the distance, I could just faintly make out the plaintive wail "Mariah Carey, Mariah Carey!"
(It's a story that just gets bigger, and better with time. Yes, I am a mighty fan of Dr. Suess's "To Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street")
**********
Thanks for doing this. Great group!! My first time.
It's mighty early but I'm in. Besides, it's going to take a minute to find those special blends I plan on giving. I'm quite certain I'll be able to dig up a few that have some excellent "plume".
As for me, I usually request no lat or aro blends, but this year, after developing an appreciation for lat, I'll gladly take it.
As for me, I usually request no lat or aro blends, but this year, after developing an appreciation for lat, I'll gladly take it.
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