Wife and I planned ours because we wanted them. It's genetic and deeply ingrained in, at least, our psyches. I expected to - and did - glean a sense of completion, duty, and the continuation of the divine comedy.
The Benefits of Having Children
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Wife and I planned ours because we wanted them. It's genetic and deeply ingrained in, at least, our psyches. I expected to - and did - glean a sense of completion, duty, and the continuation of the divine comedy.
Well and also the babies are just so precious and cute and stay that way until somewhere around thirteen. Although same applies to cats and you don't have to worry about college with a cat. Just saying cats are a more practical choice for keeping something cute around the house.
Side note came to this thread to point out that no one has mentioned one of the biggest benefits of children... Which is that in a post apocalyptic world (that we frankly have been sitting on the rim of since sometime B.C.) children have a very high trade value. Especially if they're healthy and have a strong back.
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Man is the only creation that received God's breath and is created in God's image, along with that comes Man's desire to create in his own image.
Bearing children is the closest a man can come to being God.
Bearing children is the closest a man can come to being God.
Maybe, but surely everything created by God wants to recreate itself in its own image, regardless of the divine order to go forth and multiply?
Lol, great point! In my household, with 8 sons, I have at least a squad-sized element for 360 degree security and sleep shifts in case the apocalypse, zombie apocalypse, WW3, etc befalls humanity!
I wrote in this thread yesterday about how much of a joy it was to be a father...
Then my boy came home with his progress report from school, and reality kicked back in. Haha
Then my boy came home with his progress report from school, and reality kicked back in. Haha
When you drop a mug and it shatters, you might not be able to find all of the ceramic pieces that have ended up in various nooks and crannies around the room. While cleaning up the mess on your hands and knees, you might end up finding things you didn't know were there. That's kind of what having kids is like. You end up losing pieces of yourself, due to the sacrifice and selflessness required to be a present, decent parent. But, in the process, you end up discovering things about yourself that you didn't know were there.
I always knew that I wanted to have kids, and I knew I didn't want to be one of those people who waited until they were in their mid-30s to have them. It would have been a deal breaker for me if the woman I was with didn't want any. I have a 5-year-old daughter now and a son due in February. I love my family and nothing gives me more joy in life than spending time with them. Not to say that all of the time is joyous (haha), just that when the time with them is joyous, the joy is not exceeded by any other activity.
I always knew that I wanted to have kids, and I knew I didn't want to be one of those people who waited until they were in their mid-30s to have them. It would have been a deal breaker for me if the woman I was with didn't want any. I have a 5-year-old daughter now and a son due in February. I love my family and nothing gives me more joy in life than spending time with them. Not to say that all of the time is joyous (haha), just that when the time with them is joyous, the joy is not exceeded by any other activity.
I was reluctant to start this thread, but I’m glad I did now. Even though not 100% on my target, I’ve enjoyed reading your responces. It’s heart warming and yet also humorous.
Kids also drive us fathers to keep working harder and making more of ourselves. I would have never seen that beforehand. But, when you get that first message that yoir going to be a dad, most of us step up and make it happen, get the bills paid, good on the plates, and shoes on the feet.
6 weeks after my second daughter was born, my wife, whom I dearly loved at the time had a psychotic break. She just took off and left me with a one year old and a 6 week old baby. I had just accepted a position at a museum as a curator, expecting to be setting up shows and writing drivel papers on aesthetics. I managed to take care of two little unexpected girls and keep that job, while trying to reinvent a career for myself that would manage to keep me in art and keep us in a house.
Now, I am making a menu for Thanksgiving at my house where my 7 kids will return to Alabama with their loved ones and their dogs to spend Thanksgiving.
However, if I was asked back in high school or college what I thought of having kids… I would have been shocked, because they were never in my master plan to be an artist. Now, because of my kids, I have built much much more than that. And, I am thankful for them beyond what words can convey.
Kids also drive us fathers to keep working harder and making more of ourselves. I would have never seen that beforehand. But, when you get that first message that yoir going to be a dad, most of us step up and make it happen, get the bills paid, good on the plates, and shoes on the feet.
6 weeks after my second daughter was born, my wife, whom I dearly loved at the time had a psychotic break. She just took off and left me with a one year old and a 6 week old baby. I had just accepted a position at a museum as a curator, expecting to be setting up shows and writing drivel papers on aesthetics. I managed to take care of two little unexpected girls and keep that job, while trying to reinvent a career for myself that would manage to keep me in art and keep us in a house.
Now, I am making a menu for Thanksgiving at my house where my 7 kids will return to Alabama with their loved ones and their dogs to spend Thanksgiving.
However, if I was asked back in high school or college what I thought of having kids… I would have been shocked, because they were never in my master plan to be an artist. Now, because of my kids, I have built much much more than that. And, I am thankful for them beyond what words can convey.
One joy is both of them stopping by with all lights on the dash board on. Tire warning light. Oli warning light on. Engine stuttering for running low grade gas in a small turbo engine etc. Bonnet doesn’t open due to fender bender and gas is entirely empty. Here dad. Spend the entire Sunday getting them to run again.
Wouldn't it have been easier/smarter to have taught them about that stuff when they were learning to drive? That was my choice rather than have them damage the vehicle.
I wasn't planning on having a child. We got engaged, and then a few months later found out she was pregnant, and had to postpone our wedding due to our daughter coming. But I'm glad I had her when I did. I was afraid I was too young, at 22, but I'm glad I am a younger father. 35 now. Boy time flies.
Like most human-behavior-related things in modern times, the answer can be found in the 2-3 million years of human evolution which preceded modern times.
In this case, fertilizing females was a male's Job One, and getting emotional about it made him less effective at doing it.
The end.
The "intertia" (for lack of a better term) of that biological reality in today's world makes for all manner of awkwardness, problems, and discussion, but Mother Nature gives a shit, not.
In this case, fertilizing females was a male's Job One, and getting emotional about it made him less effective at doing it.
The end.
The "intertia" (for lack of a better term) of that biological reality in today's world makes for all manner of awkwardness, problems, and discussion, but Mother Nature gives a shit, not.
For cute around the house, I have a wife. Cats are hell beasts, of which we have several. I trust the outdoor cat much more than the indoor cats. I trust nothing that shits in a box.
Ugh all this sappy stuff and feelings of joy with your kids. Bleh. I wanted kids because I had too much money and needed a way to humble myself amongst you plebs
What a lovely family, Didi. Congrats!
Yeh, my first wife was plump with child at our wedding. We went straight to the OB right afterwards. Ha ha.
I, also am heartened to hear the reasons those of you taking parenting on are taking it seriously and finding reward in it. I'm not against the existence of children in the world, I just positively don't want any of them to be mine.
I have three boys - currently two 12's and a 14 ...contrary to any reasonable logic, having kids really helped my anxiety issues - I have been too busy to be anxious for years haha
It's an amazing journey I never expected to go on, I work hard for my family but I get infinitely more in return imo
It's an amazing journey I never expected to go on, I work hard for my family but I get infinitely more in return imo
It's surprising me how many guys here don't have or want kids.
In my world, I'm the exception.
I only have a couple male friends without kids, and both are not great catches anyways, so, no great loss.
My brother never wanted kids, then he met a woman and BAM, 2 kids in 18 months. He was in his 40s.
His wife died a few years back.
I'm not sure why guys around here are the type who want kids. Maybe it's because it's very rural and there isn't much to do.
Or, more likely, it's the very Christian conservative area we live in.
I was raised EXTREMELY religious, but not anymore. And I am politically homeless.....(however I'm very happy about recent changes.)
Don't get me wrong, I like kids......your kids, not mine.
My hoodlum little neices and nephews are great......slave labor around the farm. They work for food and I can verbally abuse them all I want.
In my world, I'm the exception.
I only have a couple male friends without kids, and both are not great catches anyways, so, no great loss.
My brother never wanted kids, then he met a woman and BAM, 2 kids in 18 months. He was in his 40s.
His wife died a few years back.
I'm not sure why guys around here are the type who want kids. Maybe it's because it's very rural and there isn't much to do.
Or, more likely, it's the very Christian conservative area we live in.
I was raised EXTREMELY religious, but not anymore. And I am politically homeless.....(however I'm very happy about recent changes.)
Don't get me wrong, I like kids......your kids, not mine.
My hoodlum little neices and nephews are great......slave labor around the farm. They work for food and I can verbally abuse them all I want.
@Sig I think it’s best to shy away from politics on here though I do agree that people who are more religious and maybe more conservative tend to embrace the family life and having children is part of that. I’m not very religious (I’m a lapsed Catholic whose views don’t line up exactly with the Church) but have wanted children over the years. However, I was told at a young age by an aunt of mine that if I thought I was responsible enough to stick it into a woman I should be responsible enough to take care of what comes out of her. That stuck with me until this day and seeing how many friends, family, and high school classmates get pregnant and really struggle, I made sure I used contraception always (If God made man, man made contraception is a gift from God) until I was financially ready to raise a child in a stable home. Life gets crazy and I’ve never felt ready for children. Like I said in an earlier post, I’m not opposed to having children, and I’ve been a stepfather before, but I need to be ready for it and if I never have any I’ve made my peace with it.