Maybe your wife should dump you...
Why not? I have a half dozen unsmoked Barlings, including this 1907 companion set:
Which I have neither need nor desire to smoke. I like that they're exactly as they were when they left the factory, like little time machines. I'm primarily a pipe smoker, so I don't go out of my way to buy unsmoked vintage pipes. These were a rare exception. The other unsmoked Barlings were not advertised as such, so I didn't pay an insane premium for them. Once a match has been applied, they're just another old pipe. Besides, I have plenty of vintage pipes that I do smoke and they all smoke like pipes.