Hot tip: The week or so leading up to the delivery day, eat a lot of certain foods, the discarded amounts of which leave behind a wretched stench in your kitchen trash receptacle. Fish is always a winner, as are durian fruit, if you can find it. Leave the detritus in there for at least a couple days, but keep adding other stuff in with it. Neutral stuff, like potato peels, which will in no way obscure the horrific odor building up beneath. This way, when the moment of
deception truth comes, your wife will see you taking a FULL trash bag out to the exterior receptacle; if the bag is less than full, it may arouse her suspicions; should this happen, the subterfuge will surely fail. But a full one, and she just might buy it. Pretend to drop something on your way out, so as to maximize your time indoors, allowing the scent to permeate the interior of the house. But not too long, or again, the entire endeavor will be in jeopardy. Once the trash is disposed of, make your way straight to the conveniently arriving postal employee (hopefully not Newman from Seinfeld), snag that package, and make your way straight to your cellar for immediate transfer. If done properly, you should have no unforeseen issues en route, as the malodorous nature of the entire house will ensure that you are given a wide berth. A minor scolding from a spouse pertaining to the olfactorily offensive "mishap" surely pales in comparison to being caught with even a couple grams of pipe tobacco. I mean, don't you have enough already, you TAD-enabling bastard?!?
Or, your could try something a little more complex. Maybe ask one of the other, more experienced guys on the forum. Preferably ones who have a TAD clause in their marriage contract.