Piping Pet Peeves

[Frozenoak]

Developed a new peeve last night. Drunk people walking up to me in public and snatching my pipe from my hand and puffing on it as they ask if they can try it, then passing it around like it's the devil's lettuce. I wouldn't normally let anyone snatch my pipe, but it was a beautiful disaster of a woman, and I didn't mind so much until a guy that she introduced to me as her husband walked out of the bar and she handed it to him, who then passed it around to his buddies who proceeded to tell me that it "tastes like all other pipe tobacco". The only redeeming moment was watching two of the guys inhale huge puffs and then turn a nice shade of chartreuse ??!

That’s not a peeve. That’s righteous indignation.

 

[condorlover1]

I would love an attractive women to put her lips around my pipe

 

[brian64]

my pe— err, companion peeve is my Grandmother who calls multiple times weekly asking if A) I’m still smoking those “Damn pipes?” and proceeding directly to threaten with B) “Hey boy, you’re not too old for me to shove those pipes up your little a$$.”

Dude...that's a very unique Grandma you got there. LOL

I'm trying to imagine having a Grandma calling me multiple times a week threatening to shove my pipes up my ass.

 

[diamondback]

Dude...that's a very unique Grandma you got there. LOL

I'm trying to imagine having a Grandma calling me multiple times a week threatening to shove my pipes up my ass.

It’s very literally true. She’ll flat tell you off if you’re “one of hers.” Tough lady. Lived through the depression, authentic Tennessee country girl

She’s a hoot! Most people like her immediately. ?

Oh, it’s not every call, but if she happens to think about it I’ll “get it.” ?

 

[olkofri]

"Yup, grandma, still smoking those damn pipes. Why? You wanted some damn blends recommendations?"

"What? Up there? I'd get a helluva nic-hit then, you know?"

 

[snagstangl]

 

[anotherbob]

I would love an attractive women to put her lips around my pipe

careful they can leave teeth marks if they don't know what they're doing or aren't good at jaw stretching. Just thought you should be warned.

 

[condorlover1]

So true but at least they can't speak with their mouth full!

 

[diamondback]

A heat gun or lighter can lift teeth marks later... just sayin’. ?

 

[anotherbob]

I've been working on film sets for 20 years (as an AD, not a DoP) and I'm the only one I've ever seen break out a pipe. Not that I'd mind, I would be more than happy to take a pipe break with the Camera Department. The Art Department smokes pipes... but they prefer the 420 blends.

Mind if I ask what might be one of the films you're proud to have worked on?

 

[subsalac]

Bone dry=fewer relights, less mouth irritation, and more flavor.?

Also I find it humidifies to perfection after a few puffs, especially if one is going with the the breath method which can humidify the whole packed bowl. I too like very, very dry tobacco.

 

[olkofri]

Now that you bring it up, the breath method is a major pet peeve of mine.

 

[rmpeeps]

If you’re going to post a review, please mention the aging associated with the particular blend you smoked.

 

[alaskanpiper]

Playing the skin flaut to tuna town?

Haha grumpy old men

 

[alaskanpiper]

Being in Alaska the most annoying one is the impact cold has on my lighters. Always have to remember to put them on the inside pocket or the flame is like a millimeter by first relight. So really I guess my shitty memory is the pet peeve, haha.

Bulldogs with amazing grain. To each their own and such, if you like em more power to you, but them shits are ugly. They look like those shitty metal weed pipes. All blocky and weird. The stupid rings. Euchhh. What a waste.

Pipes that won’t pass a pipe cleaner. It’s like getting caught masturbating before you finish and having to stop. Except not as bad. And not embarrassing. Just frustrating with no solution but to be done until you can finish the job later. No joy.

People that go slow in the fast lane and don’t move over. That one is not pipe related at all I just fucking hate those people. “Slower traffic keep right.” It’s right there on the sign. I know you can read or you wouldn’t have license. Which means you just don’t care. It makes me want to follow you to work and poop on your hood while you are gone. If you weren’t so slow I probably would.

 

[TinCup]

Being in Alaska the most annoying one is the impact cold has on my lighters. Always have to remember to put them on the inside pocket or the flame is like a millimeter by first relight. So really I guess my shitty memory is the pet peeve, haha.

Bulldogs with amazing grain. To each their own and such, if you like em more power to you, but them shits are ugly. They look like those shitty metal weed pipes. All blocky and weird. The stupid rings. Euchhh. What a waste.

Pipes that won’t pass a pipe cleaner. It’s like getting caught masturbating before you finish and having to stop. Except not as bad. And not embarrassing. Just frustrating with no solution but to be done until you can finish the job later. No joy.

People that go slow in the fast lane and don’t move over. That one is not pipe related at all I just fucking hate those people. “Slower traffic keep right.” It’s right there on the sign. I know you can read or you wouldn’t have license. Which means you just don’t care. It makes me want to follow you to work and poop on your hood while you are gone. If you weren’t so slow I probably would.

Wow easy fella, that fresh air has gone to your head

 

[TinCup]

Lowering pipe smoking to piping or a pipe smoker to piper. One is a cake decoration and the other is a woodwind musician.

My pet peeve is why can I only add one 'like' to this post?

Actually if a have a terminology personal pipe pet peeve its that you guys insist on calling it cellaring when you actually mean hoarding ? ☺

Actually for no good reason I don't really like calling it 'smoking a bowl' either (toilets have bowls!)

 

[Drew72]

So 4 pages in and what have we learned? We all annoy the hell out of each other. Slightly...how like life.

Yeah... I thought pipe smoking was supposed to mellow us all out and allow us to brush off that which is of little significance or importance

 

[Frozenoak]

Actually for no good reason I don't really like calling it 'smoking a bowl' either (toilets have bowls!)

That's exactly why I like to say it.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

Great thread! It's always great to make a list of everyone's buttons so we will know just how to piss them off, ha ha.