Met My First Absolute JERK Piper

[simnettpratt]

Old buddy Tim took me to a British pub the other day, where we got to smoke at our table. We're eating, smoking and playing backgammon, when I notice an old guy at the bar with several nice looking pipes and puffing away. I of course go over to introduce myself and share some of my tobacco. Here's the condensed version of our meeting.
[Me] Hi, I'm David, how are you?
[Shouting] What? I can't hear you!
[Me, louder] Hi, I'm David.
Well you don't have to blow my ear off!
[Me] I'm sorry (not sure how loud to be now), I noticed you also smoking a pipe. What are you smoking?
I grew it. In my back yard.
[Me] Well that's cool, here have some of mine (taking out some of the Stokkebye flakes I had with me).
WHAT? No, I don't take slices from a stranger! (angrily turns away)
The End.
WTH? I guess there had to be an absolute jerk piper out there, but I must admit, after meeting all the extremely high quality folks on here, and the nice folks at the Skeet range who come over to talk about my pipes, I was shocked to meet him.
I picked up my flakes, said sorry to bother you, and went back to my table in shock. Tim was mad that I'd pissed him off, he's a regular! but I must say, I feel completely innocent. What a jerk.

 

[beefeater33]

I grew it. In my back yard.

Sure he wasn't smoking the "funny stuff"?

 

[simnettpratt]

Kinda wish he had been, it might have mellowed him out

 

[warren]

You haven't met me yet. Then it might very well be two as I'm pretty asocial myself.
Seriously, one lone guy sitting quietly in a pub is probably not looking for a social experience. If I saw a loner at the bar, and felt the need to intrude into his space, I would speak to the publican first as to the gent's sociability. Just think of it as a learning experience. The gent may have just been having a poor day.

 

[mikestanley]

What, do I have to take tobacco from every Tom,Dick and Dave that comes my way?
LOL.
Mike S.

 

[ravkesef]

We pipe smokers are usually drawn to one another, and you'd think a chap sitting there with a bunch of pipes would be willing to swap tales with a fellow smoker. You happened to find the one who isn't. I'd simply tell him to get seduced and move on.

 

[easterntraveler]

Meeting another piper in person would be like me finding sasquatch. What a douche

 

[johnnyreb]

I'd cut the guy some slack. He's probably been smoking a pipe for 40-50-60 yrs as the cheapest means for nicotine intake. Pipe smoking is not a "hobby" for him.

 

[warren]

I say we give the old guy a pass. I certainly do not consider a pipe hanging from my jaw to be a "welcome mat." Hopefully, I would have handled the situation in a more polite manner than "the old guy." I like to think so anyway. But, there he was sitting quietly, by himself, alone with his thoughts, at the bar. That should have been a clue. He was bothering no one, just minding his own business and, "BAM" he's got company!
I think the old gent handled the intrusion badly. But, the intrusion itself was rude and presumptuous. Not everyone that enjoys a pipe is an extroverted social animal. Some of us thoroughly enjoy our solitude, even when in a crowd.

 

[simnettpratt]

He was chatting up all the cute waitresses and talking to the guys behind the bar before I went over. I had no indication I'd offend him by saying Hi and would you like some free tobacco. If he didn't want me to bother him, a simple I don't want to be bothered would have been sufficient.
Instead, he yelled at me for talking too softly, so I spoke louder. He then yelled at me for speaking too loudly. I tried in-between and offered him some free tobacco, and he yelled at me for offering him free tobacco. Repeat, he was chatting with everyone else around him before I went over.
If he smoked homegrown tobacco because he was poor, I wouldn't have thought he'd have been drinking $6 beers at a pub, but drinking 50¢ Schaefer Lites at home. If he didn't want company, he wouldn't have been socializing with everyone else.
@rav: When he yelled at me for offering him free tobacco, I did actually tell him to seduce himself, and thought it was an appropriate response. He was being nice to everyone else, and only an asshole to me, for no reason that I could tell. It came out of nowhere and was weird.

 

[pitchfork]

You might have read this before, but this kind of encounter can happen to anyone.
"Lessons From a Park Bench"

http://passionforpipes.squarespace.com/neills-blog/2012/12/30/lessons-from-a-park-bench.html

 

[warren]

Ah! Now it sounds as though he was screwing with you for the amusement of his audience. Totally different scenario. Sometimes it just doesn't pay to be affable.

 

[tanless1]

I also suspect he was screw'n with ya. Im kinda laugh'n

right now......what a pecker, and yet im still smiling.

 

[woodsroad]

So I was sitting at the bar a couple days ago, about ready to score with this hot waitress, and this jerk comes up to me, apropos of nothing, and starts yelling at me, asking me just what I'm smoking and stuff. "What are YOU smoking, bub", I think, so tell 'em I growed it in my backyard...

 

[tanless1]

What?....tone it down cowboy,im not deaf......huh?

what a charming SOB, and yet he makes me smile. I know its wrong

and insensitive.

 

[lucky695]

+1 Dan... tool-tastic.

 

[hiplainsdrifter]

Don't you wonder what goes on in some people's heads?

 

[warren]

If you are referring to woodsroad, yes. Yes. Very much so! Jung and Freud would have gone to war to have had a shot at what's between is ears.

 

[simnettpratt]

I spoke normally and politely at first, got yelled at for being too quiet, spoke louder, got yelled at for being too loud, offered some free tobacco and got yelled at for that too. He was angry with me (and only me) in a very real, and not screwing with me way.
@pitchfork: Our 'park bench' session was much shorter. It was basically:
Hi.
TOO QUIET!
HI.
TOO LOUD!
Free Tobacco?
FUCK OFF!
Well, fuck you then.
Aaand back to my table in shock. I get wanting to be alone at a bar, but he was being entirely sociable with everyone NOT smoking a pipe and offering him free tobacco. He was the first person I've ever seen with a pipe, but he was only an asshole with me. Oh well, his loss, got to keep my precious flakes.
PS @warren: We all do, right?

 

[johnnyreb]

If your friend Tim knew he was a regular there then that would explain why he was chatting up the barmaids & bartenders; he knew them. He didn't know you and didn't want to be bothered, especially if there was a "generation gap" between the two of you.