Met My First Absolute JERK Piper

[simnettpratt]

@johhny: Yeah, that's a good point, though he could have just said so. And I'm not that young - I turn 50 next Sunday.

 

[warren]

Now! That's the right spin simnettpratt. It's his loss, not yours.

 

[woodsroad]

@Warren I wonder about that myself sometimes.

 

[mso489]

simnet', I'm thinking this is a British pub in the U.K., not a Brit themed pub in the U.S. England specializes in curmudgeons. Many Brits are as friendly

as can be, but there is a definite cadre of English people who cultivate an abrupt rejecting social personality. Also some English feel affronted by

Yanks, to them anyone from the U.S. It would require a better anthropologist than me to sort out the cultural modes here. The Brits have about

thirty five (or some unreasonable number) of classes that require special treatment and deference both up and down the class structure, and some

Brits are resentful of U.S. people for not recognizing these and observing the required rites, which only a Brit can figure out. However, in defense of

the English, I will say, I expected stuffy and cold behavior when I made my first trip to London, and instead found most of the English are relaxed and

even a little casual, as long as you don't get too physically close or talk too loud. Sadly, one of the highest "compliments" I received was when one

older woman of elevated class said to her friend, behind her hand, "He certainly doesn't act like an American," which was said in a highly approving way.

It didn't make me too happy, but it was praise in her mind. I don't think this had anything to do with the gent being a pipe smoker. I think flake was an

appropriate tobacco to offer him, however.

 

[cortezattic]

Maybe he thought you were a gay trying to pick him up. 8O

 

[cmdrmcbragg]

@simnettpratt, that really sucks you find a rarity in public like yourself and get blown off for trying to connect. Maybe, like others have said, pipe smoking to him isn't anything special and you were in his space. No reason to be impolite, but some people are just a touch sociopathic.
I actually saw another piper in person on campus a week ago. He was across the street walking the opposite direction so I wasn't going to chase him down. Walking to another class probably clenching a straight dublin. I wasn't smoking a pipe at the moment (was preoccupied with trying to get to the commons so I could eat a quick bite) but if I had I would've made the effort to engage him.

 

[metalheadycigarguy]

Maybe he's like a woman and needed some compliments before being offered a strange man's tobacco. :mrgreen:

 

[simnettpratt]

@mso: This was a few weeks ago in Dallas, TX. As a Brit myself, yes, you can go to a pub ten miles from your home and you'll be an outsider to many. Tolkien nailed this in The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings. But this was America! And in Texas, no less, where strangers will give you a Howdy as you walk by in the damn street!
Bottom line is, he was being the life of the party to everyone around him, I got no clue he would be offended if I said hi and offered him free tobacco and I don't know why he singled me out to be mean to. The conversation was as short as I've said. If he'd been all huddled over and staring at his beer, I'd have left him alone. No, he was a jerk for no damn reason at all.
Oh well, as said, his loss and I got to keep my dwindling supply of flakes. Won't keep me from saying hi to the next piper I see; I'm nice to folks who come over when I'm smoking.

 

[dochudson]

so I'm sitting alone, enjoying myself and bs'ing the waitresses and some guy young enough to me my gradkid walks up and I'm suppose to give him a hug? first most old guy can;t hear worth a shit.. frankly in this day and age taking 'tobacco' from a total stranger in a bar probably isn't tooo bright. who knows what some punk kid might have laced it with some he could rob you once outside?
next time a see a college age guy sitting at a bar being the life of the party this 65yo fat, bald guy with hearing aids to going to mosey up and try joining the party.

 

[warren]

In the "good old days" everyone was packing. Politeness was the order of the day.
I've not read any responses defending the "jerk" once the original story was filled in with further facts. I think most are trying to come up with answers as to why the jerk behaved the way he did, not excuse or defend his behavior And some, being the jerks that we are, are just having a bit of fun with the whole scenario.

 

[lucky695]

all points are moot. This is America. Land of the Free (to be a dick if you want). Home of the brave (enough to tell passers by to EFF OFF). While I do not condone the behavior, it doesn't surprise me either. Now knowing it was Texas, I am even less surprised. Not that Texans are A$$holes, but everything is bigger in Texas right? So if you ARE an A$$hole... you'd be a bigger one in Texas.

 

[simnettpratt]

For crying out loud, common courtesy.

Thanks, sparks. Yes, the dude lacked common courtesy and my niceness went unrequited. He wasn't that much older than me, either; probably in his sixties and, as I said, I turn fifty! next Sunday.

In the "good old days" everyone was packing. Politeness was the order of the day.

Warren, this is Texas! Except I imagine Sherlock's gets 51% of it's business from alcohol, so the honest weren't, and I didn't see any obvious gangbangers in there It does help some of us can have a bit of fun with my story though, at least we can get that much out of an unpleasant encounter.

This is America. Land of the Free (to be a dick if you want).

Lucky, I totally respect his right to be a dick, it just really surprised me coming from a piper. That makes 99% great people I've met and one dick. Serves him right not to get any free Stokkebye flakes, and have to smoke whatever he grew in his backyard. Had some really nice looking briars too, though I didn't get to find out what they were.

 

[lucky695]

my post was in jest as well...

 

[danielplainview]

Who sits at a bar with several pipes? Imagine how pissed he'd be if you had spilled beer on his pile of pipes.

 

[darthcider]

For tips on etiquette in British pubs, can I suggest you watch a little documentary called An American werewolf in London.

 

[lucky695]

Pipe Jerks... check out where the thread Brick and Mortar is going. Several reports of rude, grumpy, and Jerk B&M proprieters. I don't get it either...no wonder they are closing their doors.

 

[ssjones]

I bump into old-time pipe smokers with some frequency out on the turnpikes, at travel plazas. They are usually smoking beat up Dr. Grabows or similar and they've been smoking a pack of Capt Black for 35 years. As a rule, those type of guys find it odd that someone might be interested in what they are smoking or that folks collect pipes and smoke different kind of premium tobacco. If you ask them about their pipes/tobacco, I think what they hear might be akin to: "hello, I noticed you drove a car, I did as well" "how do you like driving cars?", etc.
I just don't approach those guys anymore.

 

[johnnyreb]

It's one thing to sit at the bar and have a guy two bar stools away join the conversation you're having with the barmaids & bartenders. It's another thing to have someone walk up from behind you and interrupt your conversation by changing the topic to something he thinks he might have in common with you. Taking a lesson from Saloon #10 & Wild Bill Hickok I always try and sit where I can see most of the room. The fact that he didn't think of his pipe smoking as a hobby and didn't get excited about a free flake of tobacco from a stranger should be understandable in this day & age. I just think it was a case of no harm, no foul on the part of either party. Chalk it up to experience.

 

[tbradsim1]

As a Southerner and a Cajun I used to assume everyone was gonna like a friendly chat , no more in this world, I don't approach people anymore. That's the world we live in now, Sim I feel for you as your intentions were pure at heart, unfortunately it wasn't to be, as Johnnyreb said chalk it up and in my book you're AOK.

 

[pitchfork]

As a Southerner and a Cajun I used to assume everyone was gonna like a friendly chat , no more in this world, I don't approach people anymore. That's the world we live in now, Sim I feel for you as your intentions were pure at heart, unfortunately it wasn't to be, as Johnnyreb said chalk it up and in my book you're AOK.

I can relate to that. Maybe the guy was a Yankee and not a Texan at all. I say that because the Yankee that I married used to get similarly suspicious and taken aback when some random guy -- like Bradley for instance -- would (Oh My Gosh!) say hello to her out of the blue or, even worse, try to make friendly conversation. It's something that our kids (Yankees the lot of them) notice when we go back home for holidays.