Chronicling an AliExpress Pipe and Purchase for Science

[weezell]

One glass pipe one year?

I had a pipe years ago the named after a church bell ringing(wait for it ) BONG/BONG/BONG...

 

[canucklehead]

I did this one years ago!

No, no, I'm really just kidding.

Yeah, they usually broke long before a year.

 

[Sgetz]

But yet, millions of American mask up and stand in line at WalMart? With buggies full of Chinese stuff? I don't get it. Why think less of Chinese made stuff, and then turn around and fill your house with Chinese stuff? Why, I'll bet ya good money everything you've bought in the last 15 years has been made in China. But, yet you don't trust the concept of things made in china? Everything from your blue jeans to your underwear, to the meats sold in fast food restaurants to high end tools from Home Depot... all Chinese!

This one crappy pipe made to be sold in a backwoods gas station right between skull shaped bongs, throwing stars, and numchucks to crackheads looking for a cheap pipe for their meth, carries the entire weight of our attention, representing the ENTIRETY of all Chinese made goods.

Did you get your Levis tested for lead? Did you get your undies tested for lead, asbestos, atomic sludge, before you nestled your family jewels into them? No, you just put them on.

I strongly suspect the percentage of goods of low quality is the same in any culture. Benjamin Franklin said (I paraphrase!) Calls to patriotism are the last refuge of a scoundrel. We should not be fooled into thinking we are somehow special.

 

[tomatamot]

I strongly suspect the percentage of goods of low quality is the same in any culture. Benjamin Franklin said (I paraphrase!) Calls to patriotism are the last refuge of a scoundrel. We should not be fooled into thinking we are somehow special.

?

 

[mikethompson]

Now the time has come to say thank you Mike! for going to extraordinary length to research a yet unknown spezies of the tobacco pipe family. You work alone and without any sponsor at your own expense nevertheless your statements and published documents indicate the high scientific standards (state of the art) you're using backstage. I'm pretty sure, after you finished your great work including various smoking tests series, the pipemaker will gratefully introduce a signature model stamped with your name. If we are lucky this will happen as quickly as your first Asian specimen will reach your door.

Keep it up!

Much appreciated! I'm on the fence whether to order the filamentous tobacco or not. I don't have the proper equipment for handling toxic foreign substances, and I wouldn't be looking forward to that particular conversation with Canada Customs.

As for me being a pioneer trendsetter, I guess its true. It is what some people are saying. Smart people.

Last tracking update was on 11/20 so who knows where in the great unknown this artisanal piece is, but I have the white gloves ready to handle it when it does arrive.

 

[Jacob74]

Filamentous tobacco has a "burnt spotted owl feathers" quality on the retrohale.

 

[bent1]

The ‘flaky’ blend has dandrif from the harvest crew.

 

[bent1]

Look forward to viewing this phenolic wonder.

 

[Kottan]

Much appreciated! I'm on the fence whether to order the filamentous tobacco or not. I don't have the proper equipment for handling toxic foreign substances, and I wouldn't be looking forward to that particular conversation with Canada Customs.

As for me being a pioneer trendsetter, I guess its true. It is what some people are saying. Smart people.

Last tracking update was on 11/20 so who knows where in the great unknown this artisanal piece is, but I have the white gloves ready to handle it when it does arrive.

I completely understand your doubts. You can't be too careful when handling foreign substances. You can't even be sure that all toxcic indegredients the filamentous blend may contain, are still listed here. No one want's you to die for sience. Sience can cause severe, irreversible damage to health when dealing with previosly unknown properties of the research object.

Just think of x--rays. In the beginning many researchers, doctors and patients sadly died after W.C. Röntgen had detected this radiation and pulished his work for everyone's free use. Some years later he was honored with the Nobel Prize.

If you want to be known as the Bob Dylan of tobaccociana there is only one way for you to find out the real nature of the filamentous tobacco. It's risky, I know, but which seller would kill his customers? Start with a low dose. Finally you may ask @jiminks to peer-review your work.

PS Try to deduct the costs in your next income tax return.

 

[mikethompson]

there is only one way for you to find out the real nature of the filamentous tobacco. It's risky, I know, but which seller would kill his customers?

As much as it is intriguing, if it is to order some Chinese 'pipe' tobacco, if it takes this long to get a pipe, I can only imagine how long it will take to get here.

 

[Kottan]

As much as it is intriguing, if it is to order some Chinese 'pipe' tobacco, if it takes this long to get a pipe, I can only imagine how long it will take to get here.

I didn't try tobacco yet, but when my two top-quality Chinese pipes had arrived I felt encouraged to order 100 pipe cleaners ($ 2.15, free shipping) from another chinese seller. Arrival: 8 weaks later 2 x 40 pcs. I asked the seller why he sent 80 instead of 100. He offered very friendly (... dear friend) to ship the missing pipe cleaners but I told him he should no do that.
Two days later I got a full refund. I have no idea how theese sellers earn their money.

 

[mikethompson]

@Kottan , maybe aliexpress is just a front to move illicit filamentous tobacco?

 

[mikethompson]

Update:

Maybe the plane is still taxiing down the runway?

 

[brut666]

Update:

Maybe the plane is still taxiing down the runway?

View attachment 54452

Long runway, maybe ??‍

 

[mikethompson]

Update:

Well, well, well...



Double wrapped! I would expect nothing less.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

Finally!! I had given up. You may want to dunk that package in a barrel of alcohol first.

 

[mikethompson]

Here is the pipe as it has arrived. Note the box, not quite the velvet lined mahogany case I was expecting, but it holds the pipe nonetheless.

As you can see the box seems to have been mushed during shipping, which is unfortunate. If I were purchasing this as a gift, I couldn't use the box. However the fitted plastic tray seems to have held the piece in place. I was disappointed as well that the clear plastic 'window' seems to have been cut. Fortunately, the blade seems to have not damaged the hand turned briar inside.

Here are some pictures for now.

 

[brut666]

Oo

Here is the pipe as it has arrived. Note the box, not quite the velvet lined mahogany case I was expecting, but it holds the pipe nonetheless.

As you can see the box seems to have been mushed during shipping, which is unfortunate. If I were purchasing this as a gift, I couldn't use the box. However the fitted plastic tray seems to have held the piece in place. I was disappointed as well that the clear plastic 'window' seems to have been cut. Fortunately, the blade seems to have not damaged the hand turned briar inside.

Here are some pictures for now.

View attachment 54491View attachment 54492View attachment 54493View attachment 54494

Oooooooh she is a beauty ?

 

[brut666]

Here is the pipe as it has arrived. Note the box, not quite the velvet lined mahogany case I was expecting, but it holds the pipe nonetheless.

As you can see the box seems to have been mushed during shipping, which is unfortunate. If I were purchasing this as a gift, I couldn't use the box. However the fitted plastic tray seems to have held the piece in place. I was disappointed as well that the clear plastic 'window' seems to have been cut. Fortunately, the blade seems to have not damaged the hand turned briar inside.

Here are some pictures for now.

View attachment 54491View attachment 54492View attachment 54493View attachment 54494

"Outstanding brand guarantee of quality"
Don't ya know, I'm a little envious

 

[Ahi Ka]

This is awesome