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dunendain

Part of the Furniture Now
Jul 22, 2009
777
1
The Outlaw Josey Wells; "You going to pull those pistols, or whistle Dixie?"
Two Mules for Sister Sara; "Buzzards got to eat, just like worms"

 

cortezattic

Lifer
Nov 19, 2009
15,147
7,641
Chicago, IL
Not from a movie, but the sitcom Roseanne, comes a line so funny I had to share it. Upon receiving devastating financial news, the conversation went something like:

Dan: Oh! We're screwed!

Roseanne: No Dan. We're so far beyond screwed the light from "screwed" won't get here for years.

 

surfmac211

Part of the Furniture Now
Oct 28, 2009
609
0
Jacksonville, Florida
Sorry this is long but my all time favorite when Samuel L. Jackson says this in Pulp Fiction. I cleaned it up a bit lol.
Jules Winnfield: Ezekiel 25:17. 'The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyrannies of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepards the weak through the valley of darkness. For he is truly his brothers' keeper and finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the lord when I lay my vengeance upon you.' Now I've been saying that "crap" for years, and if you've ever heard it, it meant your "butt". I never gave much thought to what it meant, I just thought it was a cold blooded thing to say to a mother "trucker" before I popped a cap in his "butt". But I saw some "crap" this morning that made me think twice. Now I'm thinking it could mean you're the evil man, and I'm the righteous man. And Mr. 9mm here is the shepherd, protecting my righteous "butt". Or maybe it means that you're the righteous man, and I'm the shepherd, and it's the world that's evil and selfish. Now I'd like that, but you see that "crap" ain't the truth. The truth is, YOU'RE the weak, and I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm trying, Ringo. I'm trying real hard to be the shepherd.

 

dunendain

Part of the Furniture Now
Jul 22, 2009
777
1
That speech is on a Cyprus Hill cd, at the beginning of a song, with the gun shots included.

 

josh

Lurker
Feb 3, 2010
13
0
from one of the best comedy writers Mel Brooks
Dark Helmet: "Careful you idiot! I said across her nose, not up it!"

Laser Gunner: "Sorry sir! I'm doing my best!"

Dark Helmet: "Who made that man a gunner?"

Major Asshole: "I did sir. He's my cousin."

Dark Helmet: "Who is he?"

Colonel Sandurz: "He's an asshole sir."

Dark Helmet: "I know that! What's his name?"

Colonel Sandurz: "That is his name sir. Asshole, Major Asshole!"

Dark Helmet: "And his cousin?"

Colonel Sandurz: "He's an asshole too sir. Gunner's mate First Class Philip Asshole!"

Dark Helmet: "How many asholes do we have on this ship, anyway?"

[Entire bridge crew stands up and raises a hand]

Entire Bridge Crew: "Yo!"

Dark Helmet: "I knew it. I'm surrounded by assholes!"

[Dark Helmet pulls his face shield down]

Dark Helmet: "Keep firing, assholes!"


 

ghost45

Starting to Get Obsessed
Jan 16, 2010
230
0
Sam Jackson in Pulp Fiction

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."

 

thecigarsoldier

Might Stick Around
Feb 8, 2010
92
0
Wisconsin
Carl from Caddyshack
A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-lagunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

 

pstlpkr

Lifer
Dec 14, 2009
9,694
31
Birmingham, AL
The War Wagon with Kirk Douglas (Lomax) and John Wayne (Taw Jackson).

Right after killing two cowboys on the main street of Rondado.
Lomax: Mine hit the ground first.

Taw: Mine was taller....

 

igloo

Lifer
Jan 17, 2010
4,083
5
woodlands tx
Cool Hand Luke //What we've got here is... failure to communicate. Some men you just can't reach. So you get what we had here last week, which is the way he wants it... well, he gets it. I don't like it any more than you men .

 

pstlpkr

Lifer
Dec 14, 2009
9,694
31
Birmingham, AL
And of course True Grit.
Rooster Cogburn: "Ned I mean to kill you in one minute."

after some small exchange between Ned and Rooster...
Rooster: "Fill-your-hand-you-Son-ofaBitch!"

 
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