Axioms

[shikano53]

1) No matter where you sit around a campfire or which direction the wind is blowing from, the smoke will always blow into your eyes...
2) ?

 

[gtclark]

2) Never get involved in a land war in Asia
3) Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line
4) ?

 

[shikano53]

4) Never spray your wife with the garden hose...
5) ?

 

[hawke]

5) Never grow up

 

[cortezattic]

You always find the thing you're searching for in the last place you look!

 

[brian64]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B48D60wH8gA

 

[maxx]

Social power does not confer wisdom.

 

[shikano53]

As you grow older your car keys move around on their own.

 

[shikano53]

10) Your motorcycle will always break down at two o'clock in the morning in a torrential downpour, 100 miles from the closest human habitation.

11) Your wife will only sit on the motorcycle handlebars with a flashlight duct taped to her helmet if you PROMISE her a trip to Hawaii

12)If you recant on your promise to take her to Hawaii you WILL spend 3 months in a hospital having your anatomy put back in the correct order.

13) If you tell your 5 year old grandson that you will give him a dollar if he pees on the electric, cattle fence, YOU will pay him one hundred dollars to not tell grandma about the incident.

 

[cobguy]

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

 

[prairiedruid]

Never pee into the wind

 

[seacaptain]

You can lead a gift horse to water but you can't look him in the mouth.

 

[seacaptain]

Never eat spinach with a stranger.

 

[seacaptain]

None of us are getting out of this alive.

 

[dulgunz]

Never pet sweaty things and never sweat the small things

 

[johnnyreb]

"A man'll do a hell of a lot for a lil' free poontang." Doc Holliday.

 

[shikano53]

There's no such thing as too MANY pipes

 

[cobguy]

The road to hell is paved with good intentions

 

[weezell]

Shit dont stink till you step in it...

 

[aldecaker]

There's always one deformed M&M in every bag, but by God, they still taste good.