A Sad Post
- Thread starter Effortlessdepths
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I imagine that if a member posted and made threads like a mad man they’d become a senior member in no time, would that enable them to speak now. What does time/activity here have to do with voicing an opinion, it’s a public chat and I didn’t see any rules broken by the one being called out as a “member”.
Sloopy’s been here for like 5 minutes.
Enough of the wee man, hopefully we can get back to the op.
I am sorry for the trouble, and hurt, that you are experiencing.
I do think it wise to keep talking, and hopefully, the thoughts that you are reading help to soothe the hurt that is happening.
Man, that's got to be brutal. Hang tough and you will come out on the other side stronger! I certainly wish you the best! I can't add any more advice than what has been offered. I can affirm that when you are down and on your knees, you can still get up and push forward.
I just want to thank everyone here again for their kind words, I do feel better. You all are great. I am not an insecure man, and I am well acquainted with healthy expression of emotions, and giving voice to them here did help, though I hope I haven't pissed off the moderators - it was never my intention. And though I appreciate everyone's impassioned defense of me against sloopjohnbee, there is no need to carry it further if you don't want to. I am thoroughly ignoring his venom, and on that point he is correct. Maybe my lack of complete clarity -- though I don't think it was TOO unclear -- on whether my wife left or died triggered him in a way that hit a nerve because of the experience he just went through almost losing his life. Maybe he didn't have anyone to help him through that and he had to do it himself. I don't know, but if that's the case, I am sorry for what you've been through sloop. I'm doing what I can to get through this, and you're welcome to do whatever you need to get through too -- even if that means pooping on this thread. Have at it. Life is hard and I take no offense.
100% agree. Also, keep smoking. It helps pass the time. Try new blends. I started to smoke through some of the bulk lines to pass the time.
C
Corcoran-Rooney
Guest
Hey Effortless. Please ignore the one negative poster on here. He's not worth your time. But I remember being in your situation. I was going out with a girl for five years, and loved up to the hilt. Then a bit of a hard time struck. One of my uncles died. I was particularly close to him, he was more like my dad, and when I heard the news, I kind of went off the rails. The day I heard it, I went out and bought a large bottle of whiskey, and six beers. I drank the lot, smashed all the plates in her house, went out, had a fight, got arressted, and the next day she dumped me. Man, I can't tell you how low I felt. I actually called her from the police station, and it was then she told me I was dumped. My uncle gone, my bird gone. I thought I would never, ever recover. But you know what, I did. Don't get me wrong, life ain't great now, but I've got a bird who is loyal to me like no one ever has. No reason the same can't happen to you brother.
not to speak for anyone but I do understand the theory of tough love and sometimes it's the best thing to give someone. I don't think this is the case here. But I think I understand the point being made.
Been there my friend. It does get better believe or not. You've got a journey ahead of you and the pipe will be your friend along the way. Godspeed
My first marriage ended after 19 years, although the handwriting was on the wall long before that. If a marriage is going to fail , better sooner rather than later. In retrospect I would have been happy if it ended after only ten years. I subsequently remarried to w wonderful woman. Just celebrated our 29th anniversary and the love is strong.
ironically, I gave up pipe smoking in my first marriage and told myself if I ever got divorced I would pick it back up.
Things will get better. Don’t do anything self-destructive.
ironically, I gave up pipe smoking in my first marriage and told myself if I ever got divorced I would pick it back up.
Things will get better. Don’t do anything self-destructive.
If a girl expected me to give up one of my few remaining pleasures in life, then that would be the Universe telling me that she aint the girl for me because it would not stop there; what next? Beer? Bourbon? Full cream milk? Caffeine? My dog? Riding motor bikes? Farting in bed? . . . nuh-uh. [probably why I'm now, for the first time in my life since my teenage years, single and deliriously happy to remain so.
]
@Effortlessdepths , I forgot to mention the lack of sleep that many go through during a tough time.
Sleep deprivation is bad enough as it is without emotional turmoil on top.
Don't be scared to ask your GP for some pills, or even better, a full extract CBD oil helps many. [It will not make one high]
I use the good stuff personally. A pipe of weed before bed helps me to sleep like a baby.
Sleep deprivation is bad enough as it is without emotional turmoil on top.
Don't be scared to ask your GP for some pills, or even better, a full extract CBD oil helps many. [It will not make one high]
I use the good stuff personally. A pipe of weed before bed helps me to sleep like a baby.
Even though she left, this is still grieving, because it's a loss. Grieving is natural and there is no right way to do it. Be assured, despite how it might feel right now, that because we've been grieving for millions of years, that this natural process almost always results in returning to normal.
Take care of the practicalities of the void left and ask for help if you need it... Whatever additional duties and responsibilities her absence may require. You don't need those stresses adding to your mental state. Improvement in your emotions will follow, gradually. Watch them come and go. You'll be ok.
Take care of the practicalities of the void left and ask for help if you need it... Whatever additional duties and responsibilities her absence may require. You don't need those stresses adding to your mental state. Improvement in your emotions will follow, gradually. Watch them come and go. You'll be ok.
That's a drag to hear, but try to stay confident in yourself. Just take some time for yourself right now.
Ignore function is your friend. I had to unignore to see how much this particular specimen was stepping out of line. I suspect it is someone jealous at others finding love.
I find this particularly interesting. It reminds me of a gent I knew who, in his 80's, was widowed for a second time. I asked him, ". . . how do you feel?" He responded, "It get's easier the second time around to bury my wife." I know you didn't lose her to death, and while divorce may be the, "end," of the marriage--it may very well be Not the end of the relationship. I just am simply reminded of, "second times," by this post. Interesting to me. . . .
kindly,
mike
I highly doubt we will ever get back together, but I appreciate your sentiment. If she could change, I might take her back, but at this point it's not in the cards and probably never will be. It pains me to say that. I put so much into us. But I just don't see it happening, and I don't know if I would even want it. I don't know. It just hurts
It would be nice to get a real apology from her. I know she was unhappy with me, but was never willing to tell me what kind of change and growth she needed from me, because she didn't want to be asked to do the same in return. Any kind of request on my part for her to change was met with the "you don't love me for who I am" line, and that comes from childhood trauma from her parents. It's a parents job to give unconditional love, not mine. Conditional love is stronger because it's treasured by both people. She never understood this. So she feels justified in cheating on the outside, but deep down I believe she knows. If she could just own up and apologize, it would make letting her go easier, but also continuing a civil and peaceful connection, since we share a wonderful fur-baby pitbull together, whom we've had for 10 years. So forgiveness is obviously needed, but so are apologies.
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