The Smug Alert
-
Kevin Godbee - Jan 2, 2011
- 7 min read
By C. R. S. Lyles
There’s a smug alert in your neck of the woods.
It comes without mercy, and it comes without warrant. It can’t be reasoned with, negotiated, or swayed from its single-minded purpose to take from you what defines you as an American citizen: Choice.
Melodramatics aside, the singular focus of the health care crusaders parallels perfectly with the lampooning nature of the television show South Park, and more specifically one episode in which the writers address the issue of hybrid car drivers. Now, the nature of the episode leans toward the outlandishly excessive, but the message is clear: while the intent of the self-satisfied is noble, the means through which they seek to achieve their goals inevitably does more harm than good.
Which brings us nicely to the first point in our topics up for discussion: the mindset behind a health care crusader.
Individuals such as this, exampled through their unerring tendency to exert their beliefs and authority into private individuals’ lives, constitutes what psychologists term as "codependency".
Codependency, by definition, is "a tendency to behave in an overly passive or excessively caretaking way that negatively impacts one’s relationships and quality of life."
Health care reformists are not the only group that exhibits this trait; their ability to implement their own beliefs and their self-righteous mannerisms mirror those exhibited by the protesters seen holding signs outside the World Trade Center which blamed homosexuals for "God’s vengeance" and the September 11th terrorist attacks.
Their methods are the source material for the satirical "Green Police" commercial which aired during the 2010 Super Bowl, which portrayed Gestapo-esque militants arresting unsuspecting citizens for something as trivial as drinking coffee from a styrofoam cup.
The health care crusade, needless to say, is not the first time in American history that a minute group of private citizens takes up a cause they believe is right in order to subvert the power of the citizen and place that power in the hands of the American lawmakers.
Almost a century ago, this same tactic was used in order to begin prohibition, and look where that got us.
We are living on the cusp of the second age of prohibition, and it is the minority which is driving the engine of change right toward it. They may try to convince you that you, as smokers, are part of the small hold-out desperately clinging to arcane practices which single you out from a rational and technologically-advanced society that is desperately trying to save you from yourself, but they are wrong.
In the United States alone, an estimated 24.8 million men (approximately 23%) and 21.1 million women (approximately 18%) still smoke.
Among that number, approximately 44% of smokers are white, 43% are black, and 13% are of either Hispanic, Asian, or Native American nationality.
Now, while this percentage (41%) does lie in the outward minority, that still constitutes nearly 50 million individual adults who still smoke.
This information, taken from the American Heart Association’s website, shows that while the multitude of health care crusaders are trying to convince the American people to shun the last hold-out of individuals who smoke, there is much more than a "last hold-out" who continue to light up.
This revelation illustrates the controlling nature of the health care crusader’s psychology, meaning that "controlling people often demean or criticize others as a means of building themselves up and appearing superior and in control."
To put it in realistic terms, take the example of the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)’s director, Thomas Frieden.
Frieden not only implemented a system to monitor New York City’s smoking rates, but also led the campaign to have smoking banned in the workplace. This ban gained ground in multiple states including California, where (to reference this publication’s interview) the cast of AMC’s Mad Men must smoke herbal cigarettes on camera rather than regular cigarettes in order to keep with the show’s 1960s aesthetic.
And tobacco is not the only issue that Frieden, as one of the primary figureheads of the health care crusade, takes offense with. Again in New York City, Frieden concocted a strategy to eliminate written consent for HIV testing, a plan which lays the framework for eventual forced testing for the disease. He also established an "involuntary, non-disclosed hemoglobin A1C diabetes registry that tracks patients’ blood sugar control over several months and report[s] that information to treating physicians in an effort to help them provide better health care."
In addition to this, Frieden helped create the system through which all fast food and chain restaurants must now publish and post a "calorie-count" of all the food it sells and list its nutritional facts in a manner similar to those you find on the side of a cereal box.
In short, this evidence illuminates the highly-controlling nature of one of the health care crusade’s greatest champions, as well as illustrating the trickle-down effect that seems quite apparent to anyone who has had the pleasure of conversing with one of these charming individuals.
The definition of codependency and the very crux of a controlling personality has another, quite appropriate definition: "Controlling people often have difficulty dealing with problems objectively and will manipulate […] others when their own mistakes are pointed out."
This truth is that self-satisfaction and self-righteousness leads a human being to believe that they are incapable of being proven wrong, that their cause is so noble, so just, that anyone who even slightly disagrees with it is greeted with hostility, animosity, and sometimes even outward displays of violence.
The rational and logical citizens of the United States have a common term for that: Jackass.
If you, as the aforementioned writers of South Park point out, "spew self-satisfied garbage" into the air, you are a jackass. If you feel the urge to intervene in strangers’ lives even when these advances are obviously unwelcome and blatantly rebuked, you are a jackass. And if you believe that abolishing smoking will lead to a better, cleaner, and safer world, then you are most definitely a jackass, because you obviously have not studied history or else you would understand what happens to human beings when they are not allowed to have something (which is not illegal, immoral, or proven harmful to anyone else around them) that they want.
America can’t suffer another prohibition, because if the worst thing that happened as an inadvertent reaction to the last one was the implementation of the mafia into American culture, just think about what would happen if there were to be a smoking prohibition.
Needless to say, there’s a smug alert on the horizon, and its effects can already be felt, leading one to wonder that if this is just the beginning of the smug crisis, what will the state of the nation be should its cause gain ground? Will citizens’ arrests for "green violations" be legalized? Will lynchings of smokers, who of course will be deemed as second-hand citizens, be implemented? Will random searches for "illicit contraband" or, even more frightening, non-disclosed medical screenings be allowed and, even worse, backed by the American lawmakers?
The slippery slope that leads to dystopian futures and fascist governments is paved with good intentions.
Again, take history into account: Fidel Castro, Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, and Mao Zedong all had good intentions for the betterment of their people in the beginning, and indeed won over a vast majority of them through propaganda and slogans. But it was, of course, the methods that they began using once they found that they had the majority that made them who history remembers them as, and, should the health care crusaders’ arguments be given credence and power, the shamefully belittling image of "The Eternal Jew" will be replaced with a menacing smoker, perhaps drawn to resemble Snidely Whiplash or the Boogeyman, shown persuading children to smoke or even laughingly blowing smoke into the faces of aghast and innocent bystanders.
The point is, you can take any issue and spin it to gain the backing of the majority. It’s called mob psychology, and the thing that leads to mob psychology more than anything else is a little thing called fear-mongering, which is exactly what the health care crusaders use when they stand out in the square with body bags and a megaphone screaming that the number of body bags lying before them is being used to portray the number of people who are going to die from smoking in that city today.
Carter R. Lyles is a student at the University of Central Florida in Orlando, FL and at the University of Florida in Gainesville. He is a journalism/psychology major, and in addition to his work at Pipes Magazine, he has contributed articles to The Alligator, Thursday Night Magazine, and The Fine Print. |
.gif)
Written by Kevin Godbee
More Pipes and Tobaccos Articles
8 Responses
Recent Posts
Welcome to The Pipes Magazine Radio Show Episode 606. Our featured interview tonight is with Per George Jensen. Most pipe enthusiasts know Per as the longtime Mac Baren Tobacco Company spokesman. Last year he made some changes in his life. He got married, moved to Germany and parted ways with Mac Baren, but not with the tobacco business. He is consulting with Sutliff Tobacco Co., and he created the popular and unique signature tobacco series, “Pipe Force”. Tonight’s discussion will include details on Per’s line of blending tobacco, which has something for everyone. You can smoke them straight, but if you want to blend tobaccos, we will have some good advice on this episode. At the top of the show, since it’s springtime, Brian will discuss seasonal tobaccos and answer two questions that come up often.
His grandfather came to the US with a $50 gold coin in his shoe, opened up a cigar shop, and his most famous customer was Babe Ruth. He holds the record for the longest slow smoke in the world at over 24 hours, and he is the only man who stopped Chuck Norris from round-house kicking the Nording Pipe Statue. The most interesting man in the world, Jonathan Goldsmith, stopped by the Chicago Pipe Show this year to get kissed on the cheek by Neal Osborn. Wait, what? OK, I kid. Jonathan came to honor his friend and fishing buddy Steve Norse of Vermont Freehand at the annual Doctors and Masters of Pipes award dinner. Steve was one of the two recipients of the Masters of Pipes award and asked Johnathan to show up and add some color to his acceptance speech. Slightly overshadowed but no less important! Jay Furman was also honored as this year’s hobbyist Master of Pipes, joining me and a pipe-star-studded list of great contributors to the hobby and profession of pipes. Jay is a character in his own right. While I don’t know him as well as I would like, I’ve learned that he’s a kind-hearted collector who started the Artisan Pipe Makers Club, a place where new artisans learn, grow, and are challenged. There are around 60 artisans who participate, collaborate, and learn. Jay and Mike Bishop also started the Long Island Pipe Club, which has around 50 members and meets twice a month on different sides of the island. What is not featured here are pictures of the Doctors of Pipes. Both recipients were unable to attend: Marco Parascenzo – Doctor of Pipes, Trade/Industry Regis MacCafferty – Doctor of Pipes, Hobby Please join us in congratulating these newly inducted Doctors and Masters of Pipes. It is a great honor, and each of these men embodies what our hobby and industry strive to do: grow, educate, and cultivate its future. I encourage everyone to attend the dinner next year as it’s always illuminating. And now, on with the show. Sort of. You may be wondering what the most interesting pipe smoker in the world smokes…. I didn’t miss the opportunity to chat with this incredibly nice man, whom Brian Levine and I also remembered from one of our favorite TV shows, the A-Team. He was also in many other shows from the 80s, such as Magnum PI, Murder She Wrote, Dallas, and MacGyver, just to name a few. Jonathan: I actually enjoy simple and readily available tobacco like Captain Black or some black cavendish from my local cigar and pipe shop in Vermont. What about your first pipe? Jonathan: I picked up my first pipe; I think it was a billiard when I was in London many years ago at a place called James Fox. How often do you smoke? Jonathan: Almost every day. I enjoy a pipe in the morning and a cigar in the afternoon. I want to thank Jonathan Goldsmith for taking a few minutes to sit down with me and being gracious enough to snap pictures with many of us at the show; it was a ton of fun and made this year’s show even more memorable! This year, the Chicago Pipe Show kicked it up a notch with a new location, new signage, new pre-registration and payment system, new show executive staff, and lots of new surprises. Now, Tim Garrity, President of the Chicagoland Pipe Club, tells me that over 400 attendees were at the show, but they are still tabulating the numbers too, so this is subject to getting updated and expanded. We do have our dates for next year at this same location – the first weekend of May at the Hyatt Regency, Chicago O’Hare. Of course, like any good Chicago show, there was plenty of room hopping and the announcement board. The signage this year was super helpful in knowing where to go when to go, and what tables our favorite vendors were at. While the show was jam-packed, the spacing of the tables allowed everyone to move around freely and didn’t feel over-crowded as the tables and isles were spaced out to allow room for vendors and collectors to stretch out. The smoking tent was hopping all the time, but luckily, air flow and some great air purifiers by Lake Air kept it fresh. As usual, there was a great sample table with tons of things to try in the tent, and on your way to the tent, there was a conveniently placed cash bar. This year the tent was 25% bigger than last year, although you wouldn’t notice because there were more people at the show! Kaywoodie is under new Management. At the show, I chatted with Nathan “Greywoodie” Davis about how he came to take over the 173-year-old company. Tell me how this happened. Nathan: This month is my 5th anniversary of Greywoodie opening. I was friends with Bill and had a huge collection of Kaywoodies – I approached him about having them available outside of brick and mortar. He had no online presence and didn’t sell direct. He said if I wanted them to be more available, the best thing I could do was quit my job and sell them myself. He was mostly kidding because I had a really good job in the legal profession, but I wasn’t happy so one day I did give him a call and said “hey whats your minimum order,” and he said “You didn’t just quit your job because I was joking?” I did and I started out that way as an online retailer. So, in working with him, we did exclusives, and I learned about pipe making from him, both production and hand-made. We brought back some historical lines as well, and soon enough, I was helping to make the pipes I was buying from him. It was great for him to get my labor […]
Welcome to The Pipes Magazine Radio Show Episode 605. Our featured interview tonight is with Pete Prevost. Pete is a pipe maker and the President of the BriarWorks pipe factory in Columbia Tennessee. BriarWorks is a a pipe maker co-op with several other pipe makers, including Todd Johnson, who co-founded it with Pete. Brian and Pete will be talking about what’s new at BriarWorks, and how they are getting ready to attend the Chicago pipe show. (This was recorded before the show that took place last weekend.) At the top of the show, Brian will give his report of his travels and what happened at the Chicago show.
When I first started with the pipe as a quirky and precocious teen, the only tutelage I had at my disposal were scenes from old movies in which a well dressed chap would stick his pipe into a pouch, scoop tobacco into the bowl and press it down unceremoniously with his thumb. Then, with great flourish, he’d strike a match and light the thing with all manner of cinematic excess, puffing up vast clouds of smoke falling just short of completely obscuring his visage. While it may look good on film, it’s a terrible approach to actually enjoying the thing. Somehow, though, this “technique” seems to have survived in the contemporary vernacular, at least to some extent, even with bit-loads of information handily at our fingertips that should dissuade us from the practice. But, at the time, this misguided approach was all I had; it’s no wonder my early days of puffing were fraught with difficult lighting, harsh, bitter smokes and tongue bite, all culminating in a fireproof mass of ye old soggy dottle in the bottom of the bowl. Ultimately, the resulting frustration made me give up the pipe, at least for a while. While the idea of it was still very appealing, the practice of it was not. It wasn’t until a few years later when, still full of curiosity and romantic notions of pipe smoking, I wandered into a real tobacconist’s shop, and learned my “method” was a long way from the techniques that would bring me to any sort of pipe smoking bliss. So, after my poor start, and under the guidance of someone who actually seemed to know how to do it right, I was given the opportunity to approach the process anew, this time with much greater success. It was only because I was both perseverent, and fortunate to have a local shop staffed with knowledgeable people, that I’ve been able to enjoy the experience ever since. At least mostly… How many fledgeling pipe smokers have simply given up on an enjoyable pastime because of similar early mis-starts? Fortunately, today, it’s not hard to find helpful guidance at the press of a key or ten. But, at the same time, not all roads lead to Valhalla, and sometimes the advice offered might well be labeled with, “Here be dragons.” The other day, I came across a short video on-line in which a well-meaning tobacconist suggested packing a bowl of an “English” mixture “nice and tight.” Perhaps somewhat ironically, I was smoking, or trying to smoke a bowl that I’d filled on auto-pilot, packed too tightly, and not only was having the devil of a time trying to keep it lit, I really wasn’t enjoying the acrid smoke the tobacco issued during the brief periods in which it was actually burning. “No, no, NO!” I found myself muttering at my pipe, and at the figure on the screen, my protests joined by the guttural growling noises that sometimes accompany my discontent. Defiantly, I grabbed a pipe nail, shoveled out the dense, asbestos-like clog from the bowl, swabbed out the shank with a pipe cleaner, more out of habit than need since I hadn’t actually smoked enough of the mass to foul the shank, and started over, this time paying proper attention to what I was doing. (For as long as I’ve been doing this, I still screw it all up sometimes.) Much better. This got me thinking about a couple things that are so important to the maximal enjoyment of our pipes, yet not often enough discussed, namely how different tobaccos respond to variations in filling density, and moisture content; two separate but related parameters. Once I’d been shown the proper way to fill the bowl, or at least a proper way, everything had changed for me. I also began drying my tobacco down as a matter of course. Suddenly, there was greater cooperation between leaf and flame, the smoke was rich and flavorful, and it burned mostly to the bottom of the bowl with few relights. Given that, at the time, I smoked latakia mixtures almost exclusively, there didn’t seem to be a reason to explore beyond my “new” approach. It wasn’t until my attention turned in the direction of Virginia blends that I had to look a bit deeper. The same technique that worked so well for me with latakia mixtures resulted in bland, and often harsh smokes with Virginias. I attributed this to the tobaccos, convincing myself that I just didn’t like the stuff. At one of our pipe club meetings, I was talking with a friend who smoked Three Nuns exclusively. When he offered me a bowl. I thanked him, and told him that I just didn’t seem to get along well with Virginias, that they weren’t for me. “Maybe it’s the way you pack them. Here, let me fill your pipe for you.” I watched as he rubbed out a few coins to fine ribbons, moister than I was then accustomed to, and filled the bowl carefully in stages, pressing it tighter than I would have. Prepared for a nightmare, I was instead treated to a pipe dream. The tobacco smoldered slowly and almost continuously, delivering a rich, cool, sweet and delicious smoke. After that, I spent some time exploring the impact of these two variables, moisture content and packing density, on different mixtures and blends, always with similar results. Latakia mixtures, and to a lesser extent, those with a high percentage of oriental leaf, taste and smoke better when they’re on the dry side and the bowl is filled loosely, while Virginia blends tend to work best with a little more moisture and a denser fill. Burleys seem to work best somewhere in between, except for cube-cuts, which don’t like to be packed with much pressure at all. (Gravity fill, tap the bowl to settle the cubes. Repeat until full.) For such a simple act, pipe smoking is filled with undefined complexities! The point behind all this? Often […]
Welcome to The Pipes Magazine Radio Show Episode 604. Our featured interview tonight is with Jon David Cole. JD is the Owner/Tobacconist at The Country Squire in Jackson, MS, and he is the former co-host of the podcast, Country Squire Radio, which ended their 10-year run last year. We’ll have JD with the “From the Country Squire” segment talking about all the new things happening at the store and in the business in general. At the top of the show, we’ll continue our audio tour of Brian’s pipe collection.
Before we begin, I should tell you: this tobacco review is being written by an A.I. Not the fancy new GPTs or their ilk; no, this is last century’s meat-and-bone, all-organic model. To be fair, a large part of what we call knowledge is merely the accumulated perceptions and impressions gathered from a life wandered through, synthesized into a spongy mass of what-it-is-that-we-think-that-we-know. The algorithm for this prompt is simple enough: pump thousands of bowls of smoldering plant matter into a gaping maw, cross-reference the chemical sensations with all other matter previously ingested or inhaled, sieve it all through the diffuse and fractal twin lens of memory and emotion, and churn out a panoply of adjectives that attempts to convey the sensations to someone who hasn’t experienced it yet. Odds are that a diligently trained monkey could succeed half the time; if this reviewer nears fifty-one percent then that would qualify as an unrivaled success. There must have been some similar musings perambulating through the mind of Per Jensen when he began his mad scientist routine at Sutliff with the Pipe Force project, which brings us to the current mixture under the microscope—Sutliff’s Pipe Force: Episode I. Here again are the unusual ingredients that engendered the series, with the stoved Rustica being the defining voice in this composition. From the tin: The Latakia-forward English mixture offers plenty of smoky flavor from the fire-cured leaf, which is artfully harmonized with floral, earthy Stoved Rustica. A mixture of high-grade Virginias imparts a natural sweetness. Katerini, the sole Oriental component, offers herb and spice notes bringing complexity and nuance to the flavor profile. It’s certainly Latakia-forward, with the stoved Rustica doubling up on the rhythm section like a second bassist. A first whiff from the tin releases the aromas of shoe leather and hide glue in a base of clay soil with a campfire wafted over it like last night’s beach party. Once it’s been accustomed to oxygen again, subtle hints of sweetness poke through from the Virginias: lemon rind, light milk chocolate, the dregs of a peaty Scotch, and muddled cherry. Old regulars like fresh-sawn oak and tilled earth are there, of course, with distinct notes of truffle, creosote, damp peat, and pine bark mulch. As an aside, I’ve been re-potting my camellias and the similarity of aroma to the ericaceous soil mix is notable; the Katerini really brings the unique depth of its vegetal complexion when supported by the Rustica and afforded more voice in the mix. The smoky Cyprian Latakia, in turn, is backed by equal earthiness from the Rustica, which overall exhibits a profile similar to dark-fired Kentucky; it leans more toward the woody and vegetal end of that spectrum, echoing and amplifying those traits of the other constituents. The tobacco is presented pressed and cut into a couple of thick, hearty flakes in the tin, lightly moist and easily crumbled to prepare—I prefer mine with a bit of drying time. The out-of-this-world tin art for this episode in the series is Major O’Meara smoking a cavalier. In the absence of confirmation, I’m going to hazard a guess he’s of the Ithklur species. The first taste from the light is sweet, with hints of that milk chocolate dancing around the edges. The Virginia leads the smoke through the top of the bowl, and orchestrates it well. Thoroughly smoky with lemony, grassy highlights from the Virginia spectrum, it soon segues into the mid-bowl profile: heartier, smokier, with the flavor leaning to the mildly acrid and tangy tinge that is the campfire-esque signature of English blends. Caution advised, it can turn overly bitter if pushed—this is where one’s sipping technique is required to maintain the fullness of flavor through to the heel. I did tend toward a lot of relights, though it may have as much to do with technique as with the blend. Pacing is also important as the nicotine starts to manifest; though the Rustica’s contribution has been tempered well by the stoving, it can certainly upend an empty stomach. At the end of every bowl, the mouthfeel somehow gets better. The balance of sugars in the tobaccos would seem to be spot-on in this regard. I started out my tasting in cobs, then cut short an unpleasant bowl in a meer, and finally landed on my best instrument with the lovely Dunhill 4427 pictured, a quaint group 4 shell briar with a gentle curve and Cumberland stem supporting a perfectly executed acorn bowl. It surprised me here, as I’ve learned through the years that I generally have the best experience with English blends in large, wide bowls. With this blend it seems that to get the best out of the Katerini’s somewhat diaphanous influence the smaller bowl fared much better. Room note is very English, so the company you keep will either love it or hate it, and it doesn’t linger too much. I find it paired best with a strong coffee; Sumatran beans complement the flavors well, as do Ethiopian if a lighter brew is preferred. Overall impressions of the blend are that it’s a curiously interesting take on the English genre, almost a reductive reconstruction of the theme using the unique components. This blend, if nothing else, expanded my vocabulary of sense perceptions with the uniquely treated leaf. While the average human can distinguish approximately one trillion (1,000,000,000,000!) different aromas, multiplied by seven basic tastes, and wholly dependent on variables from body chemistry to atmospheric conditions, our overworked and underpaid simian brains can’t effectively catalog them all. Our pet adding machines are exceedingly good at this, however, and someday soon they’ll be the ultimate and unequivocal authority on what something tastes, smells, looks, or even feels like. Until that time, friends, revel in the moments that can be stolen to savor over a bowl of Pipe Force: Episode I.
It’s interesting to read about this and consider the personality and character disorders that cause the anti-tobacco zealots to intrude and impose their beliefs on others. It makes me wonder who’s more sick.
Great article! I have always wondered what drives these nazis to go as for as they do.
Too funny… There will always be someone on a mission
to help others lead a vice free existence, or at least any
vices that you might have.
There seems a certain group of people in nearly every life style who exibit a problem with self-control.Everyone else.These people are not happy unless they feel they have control over all others around them.The ONLY thing they understand is to will themselves on the rest of society and try thier damndest to exert things such as politics,religion,sex and a lot of other things that time and space do not permit persuance.
Personally,I do my own political thinking,I am an Infidel,love sex and sexy women and will continue my persuit of good Scotch regardless of who says what.If this makes me politically incorrect,then so be it.If someone does not care for my smoking or the thrill of eating junk food,I always ask if they are in counseling and the name of thier counselor,so won’t make the mistake of using that individual if and when I feel I need counseling.This usually is sucessful in shuting them off.I’m always open for suggestions from others of my ilk as to what they use in order to survive the Carrie Nation onslaught…
the leftys in NC are up to no good to. They think big brother knows best…..
simper fi
Well have a look at this episode of South Park….. http://www.mojvideo.com/video-south-park-butt-out/8ab20f4308d4ee8d0441
I would like the Anti’s to sit down and watch this episode from start to finish and then stand up and say they are NOT taking the p&*s!!!
I have no problem with people smoking, I enjoy a cigar now and then; just as long as it doesn’t affect mine, or a child’s, health or standard of living, which would constitute and infringement on ones individual freedom from harm from somebody else ( would it not?). Once that line is crossed it is up to appropriate officials to penalize those responsible for the infraction. I fully support laws that prevent unwilling inhalation of second hand smoke, but am against laws that inhibit ones freedom to smoke, it is up to the smoker to act responsibly.