Category Archives: Pipe Smoking Satire

Hank 23 – The Legend of the Leaf of the Last Longing

A. Miller Sometimes I’m somewhere exotic doing writing or reminiscing about being somewhere awesome doing something enviable. But right now, I’m at my desk, a huge desk with barely enough room for my keyboard and mouse because I’m not great at picking things up. But there is a glass of gin on my desk. It […]

Read more

Hank 22 – Abstinence

A. Miller I’m at my daughter’s soccer practice and the sun is starting to set and the first leaves are changing color and we may or may not have just dropped a 25 pound weight on the head of a rattle snake that wandered onto the field. I need a pipe. But I don’t have […]

Read more

Ask Hank 21 – Fidget Spinners, Mosquitos, and Artisanal Blends

A. Miller Having just got back from a family road-trip and, as a person who lives in Denver, I’m always surprised at how different my tobaccos taste when I step in to a humid environment. Things just burn differently when there is water in the air, which makes sense as I say it out loud, […]

Read more

Ask Hank 20: Chemical Responses to Other Chemicals, and Cheating

A. Miller I had a ton of a Virginia/Perique I particularly love that I may or may not have neglected and which eventually ended up dried out. Rather than try to rehydrate—with water I’m never sure is pure enough—I decided to blend it with McClelland 5100, an old staple, and to throw in some Old […]

Read more

Ask Hank 19

A. Miller It’s late. The fire pit is going full force, I have whiskey in my hand and a pipe in my mouth. My family is growing increasingly agitated with me because I’m writing this instead of making smores, but they can wait. This log I put on the fire has a guaranteed chemical burn […]

Read more

Ask Hank 18: What are you smoking?

A. Miller I went for a run today up a mountain near my house. It’s one of my favorite paths and I take great delight in just how hard I have to push myself through the climb up. I also find a great deal of pride in myself every time I manage to run all […]

Read more

Ask Hank 17: Porches, Dracula, and a Car Crash

A. Miller People are always talking about pipe and drink pairings. Claiming certain wines or whiskeys pair better with certain blends of tobaccos. I got to thinking about it this week and decided I really want to know what foods pair best with my favorite tobaccos. To sort this out, I headed to my favorite […]

Read more

Ask Hank 16: Fist Fights

A. Miller Today I wrestled a small pack of skunks for ownership of my backyard. At first it started with a lot of staring and some hissing. Mostly instigated by them. But today I learned, when you scream and run at a pack of skunks, they call your bluff. My bluff has been called. I […]

Read more

Hank 15: Fast Smoking and Pipetroversion

A. Miller In January of 1997 I opened a mason jar and blew a puff of Vanilla Cavendish in the top before racing to throw a lid on the top. I then buried that mason jar under the steps of a mountain cabin a friend of mine has near Vail. It’s been twenty years and […]

Read more

Ask Hank 14: The Perfect Smoke is Attainable with This One Weird Trick

A. Miller We had a video-based team meeting recently and I had packed my pipe with something latakia-based because this is latakia weather. As I sat outside in the cold, with my down jacket and thick hat on, my coworker made a comment that I appeared to be truly “dedicated to the pipe.” He’s not […]

Read more
PipesMagazine.com