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You must be a pipe smoker

(131 posts)
  1. chispa

    chispa

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    If you walk around sniffing your mustache... You must be a pipe smoker.

    <<insert witty signature here>>
    Posted 7 years ago #
  2. chispa

    chispa

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    If your pants are covered with round circles of ash from wiping off your tamper.... you must be a pipesmoker

    Posted 7 years ago #
  3. nsfisher

    nsfisher

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    if ur index finger is slightly discolored and calloused on tip.... u must be a pipe smoker

    If at first you don't succeed, have another bowl.
    Posted 7 years ago #
  4. jameral

    jameral

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    If your tobacco cellar is better stocked than your pantry...you must be a pipe smoker

    Know your limits but always push the envelope.

    I don't trust air I can't see.
    Posted 7 years ago #
  5. weezell

    weezell

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    If your coat pockets are full of ashes and small burn holes,you must be a pipe smoker

    "the weez"...
    Posted 7 years ago #
  6. igloo

    igloo

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    When the word cake does not remind you of food .

    “There was an awful suspicion in my mind that I'd finally gone over the hump, and the worst thing about it was that I didn't feel tragic at all, but only weary, and sort of comfortably detached.”
    Posted 7 years ago #
  7. bootlegbonvivant

    bootlegbonvivant

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    When you start carrying a flask of alcohol for pipe cleaning rather than drinking...

    Southerners don't talk slow because they're dumb, we do it because there's really no rush.
    Posted 7 years ago #
  8. bootlegbonvivant

    bootlegbonvivant

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    You might be a pipe smoker when you finally figure out how to pronounce latakia.

    Posted 7 years ago #
  9. pipeninjamaster

    Jessica

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    If you pick up the pieces of tobacco off the floor before cleaning up the coffee you spilled...you must be a pipesmoker

    Posted 7 years ago #
  10. nsfisher

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    This may not be appropriate but i cant resist;

    If u would rather smoke ur pipe than have ur pipe smoked......

    Posted 7 years ago #
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    Anonymous

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    If u would rather smoke ur pipe than have ur pipe smoked

    Both can be done at same time !

    Well the wife took my line...

    You are a pipe smoker when you're on the way to bed and your biggest concern is what pipe and tobacco combination you are going to start the day with.

    Posted 7 years ago #
  12. sherlock

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    When you actually use pipe cleaners to clean a pipe instead of in crafts for your kids.

    Posted 7 years ago #
  13. rhogg

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    If you smole cigars to see if you can find one that is actually that is as good as a pipe.

    Posted 7 years ago #
  14. rhogg

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    Your wife gets mad at you for your ever expanding collection, but buys you tobacco products for Christmas.

    Posted 7 years ago #
  15. rhogg

    rhogg

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    If the only foreign products you mean to buy are made of briar.

    Posted 7 years ago #
  16. pstlpkr

    Lawrence

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    If you know that an Oom Paul doesn't make candy.

    I know that was bad.


    "Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put." Winston Churchill
    View Lawrence  Whitcomb's profile on LinkedIn
    Posted 7 years ago #
  17. rhogg

    rhogg

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    If getting hiccups is a sign of success!

    Posted 7 years ago #
  18. igloo

    igloo

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    If you cellar is not underground .

    Posted 7 years ago #
  19. tobakenist

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    If you spend hours on this Forum.

    Regards Ken,
    I am not young enough to know everything.
    Posted 7 years ago #
  20. matchstickman

    Pipe Novelist

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    If you hear the phrase "B&M" and don't immediately have a disgusting thought about your Grandfather, you must be a pipe smoker.

    Posted 7 years ago #
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    Anonymous

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    when you have no front pockets on your pants, no shirt pockets on your shirt, no pockets at all anywhere. all from the pipe. god bless our pipes. i love it.

    Posted 7 years ago #
  22. hobojoe

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    When you go around sipping through your lips and no pipe.
    When your index finger is the only one going up and down in tamping style.
    Joe

    Posted 7 years ago #
  23. rigmedic1

    rigmedic1

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    You miss your pipe more than your wife...

    Posted 7 years ago #
  24. hobojoe

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    Rig, I was wondering who that person was cleaning up the tobacco
    scraps and say something I didn't recognize.
    Wife !!! When did I make that mistake. Drinking the pipe cleaning fluid
    again.
    Joe

    Posted 7 years ago #
  25. mluyckx

    BelgianTex

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    If you see a piece of left-over wood and wonder how you can turn it into a pipe or pipe rack.

    "The fact is, squire, the moment a man takes to a pipe, he becomes a philosopher. It's the poor man's friend; it calms the mind, soothes the temper, and makes a man patient under difficulties. It has made more good men, good husbands, kind masters, indulgent fathers, than any other blessed thing on this universal earth."
    -"Sam Slick, the clockmaker" aka T.C.Haliburton
    Posted 7 years ago #
  26. mluyckx

    BelgianTex

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    When the word "rack" makes you think of pipes first, well endowed women second

    Posted 7 years ago #
  27. mluyckx

    BelgianTex

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    When you use Q-tips to clean pipes and a Czech tool to clean your ears

    Posted 7 years ago #
  28. pipeinhand

    pipeinhand

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    When your wife says to get some air freshener and you buy a nice aromatic, you might be a pipe smoker.

    “There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there has always been. The strain of
    anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life,
    nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that "my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.”
    Posted 7 years ago #
  29. mjtannen

    mjtannen

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    When your favorite after shave and cologne is Latakia por homme.

    Posted 7 years ago #
  30. dburrows

    Chris

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    When you start carrying a flask of alcohol for pipe cleaning rather than drinking...

    That's great. I have a picture of my tobacco cabinet and a bottle of Everclear in the back. A coworker of mine is a cigar smoker and when I showed him the picture he immediately asked what went best with Everclear. I replied 'I have no idea'

    I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else. -- C. S. Lewis, Theologian, Philosopher, Professor, Pipe smoker.
    Posted 7 years ago #
  31. ace57

    ace57

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    When You enjoy looking at another mans pipe, You are a pipe smoker.

    U.S.M.C. (SEMPER FI)
    Posted 7 years ago #
  32. seakayak

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    If you find yourself standing outside your office in the dark a half hour past quitting time to finish off a bowl of tobacco started at lunch you are deffinity a pipe smoker.

    Posted 7 years ago #
  33. pipeinhand

    pipeinhand

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    Ace, I had to snicker when I read yours. Yes, I am 10.

    Posted 7 years ago #
  34. smokenscotch

    smokenscotch

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    When every time you plan a trip or even out of town visit with someone, you google all the pipe or tobacco shops to make sure you can sneak in a visit.

    Posted 7 years ago #
  35. spartan

    Spartan

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    If Virginia is a state second, and a Tobacco first; you might be a pipe smoker.

    "I was born to lose. So I'll die to win." -Breaking Benjamin
    Posted 7 years ago #
  36. mluyckx

    BelgianTex

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    Smokenscotch: so true !!

    Posted 7 years ago #
  37. ontario

    ontario

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    You are a pipe smoker when you understood each one of these posts

    so many to try
    Posted 7 years ago #
  38. baronsamedi

    baronsamedi

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    When people can't find a picture of you where you don't have a pipe sticking out of your face and your head partially obscured by smoke.

    Proud Member of the Blackblood Society Photobucket
    Posted 7 years ago #
  39. bootlegbonvivant

    bootlegbonvivant

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    When you have more pipes and jars of tobacco laying around the house than you do nick-knacks.

    Posted 7 years ago #
  40. bootlegbonvivant

    bootlegbonvivant

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    When you have lighters and/or matches stashed in every car and next to every location you could possibly smoke a pipe.

    Posted 7 years ago #
  41. igloo

    igloo

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    When you think of tin a a container and not roofing .

    Posted 7 years ago #
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    arinbjorn

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    When the prospects of manually inspecting a 4" long chubby styled pipe excites you, you may just be a pipe smoker.

    Posted 7 years ago #
  43. bootlegbonvivant

    bootlegbonvivant

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    When you can describe having a 4" stubby and be happy about it.

    Posted 7 years ago #
  44. sherlock

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    You might be a pipe smoker if notice someone smoking a pipe in a movie and try to figure out what kind of pipe is being smoked.

    Posted 7 years ago #
  45. sherlock

    sherlock

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    You have more flavors of tobacco than you have spices in your spice rack.

    Posted 7 years ago #
  46. matchstickman

    Pipe Novelist

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    If you buy Mason jars and Ziploc containers without food storage in mind, you must be a pipe smoker.

    Posted 7 years ago #
  47. matchstickman

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    If you buy Oxyclean, Magic Eraser pads, and Simple Green, and have absolutely no intention of cleaning your kitchen, you must be a pipe smoker.

    Posted 7 years ago #
  48. shaintiques

    shaintiques

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    When you think about how to pay for PAD & TAD rather than house, car, or food for that matter.

    I know what I need, smoke, I can't recall the last time I tasted it....Gandalf in the mines of Moria.

    "we shall have to share pipes, as good friends must at a pinch'....'I keep a treasure or two near my skin, as precious as rings to me. Here's one: my old wooden pipe. And here's another an unused one...He held up a small pipe with a wide flattened bowl, and handed it to Gimli. 'Does that settle the score between us', said Merry. 'Most noble hobbit, it leaves me deep in your debt."
    Posted 7 years ago #
  49. sherlock

    sherlock

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    When you open kitchen cupboards you find mason jars of tobacco.

    Posted 7 years ago #
  50. spartan

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    If you've ever thought of sewing shut tobacco inside the lining of your jackets so that they would forever smell like your favorite tobacco... you might be a pipe smoker.

    If you've ever calculated the value of what you getting from a tobacco sampler and found out that it's $3.00 cheaper to just add the stuff individually to your cart... you might be a pipe smoker.

    Posted 7 years ago #
  51. pjm03fatboy

    pjm03fatboy

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    [b]AMEM

    Posted 7 years ago #
  52. logandow

    logandow

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    if you have enough pipes for you and most of your senior class!

    A man without a pipe is a man unprepared
    Posted 7 years ago #
  53. modernchicago

    modernchicago

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    ...if you've ever expelled the first sip of a milkshake all over your shirt, you must be a (chronic) pipesmoker.
    Da(rn) that smoke's cold!

    Posted 7 years ago #
  54. kennerth

    kennerth

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    . . .when she used to ask you,"What are you thinking about, Sex?" And now she asks, "What are you thinking about, pipes?" and she has a 50/50 shot at being right.

    Posted 7 years ago #
  55. bbauer

    bbauer

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    you drive the long way when you run errands just so that you can stop by your local B&M to see if they got more of your favorite tobacco in.
    (or maybe this is just my TAD)

    “I believe that pipe smoking contributes to a somewhat calm and objective judgement in all human affairs.”
    -Albert Einstein, 1950
    Posted 7 years ago #
  56. chispa

    chispa

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    If you have a beard and sometimes wear a funny hat.... You must be a pipe smoker.

    Posted 7 years ago #
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    teamhavoc28

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    You must be a pipe smoker when you make the entire family do a search for the lost tamper.

    Posted 7 years ago #
  58. joejumps4fun

    joejumps4fun

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    You must be a pipe smoker when you're able to doze off into a nap while gently puffing away...ouch! make sure you tamper those loose flakes first!

    Check out my videos at http://www.josephneigh.com
    Posted 7 years ago #
  59. jchaplick

    jchaplick

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    When corn cob doesnt really mean corn cob...you might be a pipe smoker

    Congress seems to believe that 'Children are our future' is a phrase coined by tobacco advertisers.
    Jef I. Richards
    Posted 7 years ago #
  60. mjtannen

    mjtannen

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    ....When you are too lazy to dirty a clean pipe ash tray and tend to dump right into your fireplace.

    Posted 7 years ago #
  61. cyndi

    cyndi

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    If you drop your cell phone and your pipe, you rescue the pipe first!

    Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill 'em right back! Wife or no, you are no one's property to be tossed aside. You got the right same as anyone to live and try to kill people.
    Posted 7 years ago #
  62. cyndi

    cyndi

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    When teachers ask your kids what their parents do they answer "smoke pipes."

    Posted 7 years ago #
  63. nsfisher

    nsfisher

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    when ur eating corn on the cob and wish u were smokin it instead

    Posted 7 years ago #
  64. nsfisher

    nsfisher

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    when ur first question to an antique dealer is "do u have any pipes layin around"

    Posted 7 years ago #
  65. lordofthepiperings

    lordofthepiperings

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    If you spend more time admiring the pipes than the pipe babes.

    "The thinking man always smokes a Peterson." -Peterson of Dublin
    Posted 7 years ago #
  66. olderthandirt

    OTD

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    when ur first question to an antique dealer is "do u have any pipes layin around"
    LOL!
    +100 on that one hehe!

    Snus, snuff and briar.
    Not much more required in a day.
    Brian from Oregon USA
    Posted 7 years ago #
  67. jeff59

    jeff59

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    When you stop and consider that "Latakia" would make a delightful first name for your next born daughter.

    Posted 7 years ago #
  68. pawpaw

    pawpaw

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    think i would be kinda sweet on the name Virgina

    Posted 7 years ago #
  69. weezell

    weezell

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    When your on this forum on New Years Eve at 11:00pm

    Posted 7 years ago #
  70. maxpeters

    maxpeters

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    You might be a pipe smoker if the end to this lifetime is within sight, and you can still get excited about getting a couple of new to you, old pipes to try out, like our esteemed brother of the pipe, member Manytrees.
    It's an honor to make your aquaintance sir.

    Posted 7 years ago #

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