I recently had eye surgery for a detached retina and had a follow-up appointment today with the surgeon. Since the exam left me unable to drive for a few hours I decided to take the bus home. I relit my pipe after leaving the doctor's office and walked the two blocks to the bus stop. After about ten minutes the bus pulled up and, since the bowl was nearly done, I tapped it out and got on the bus. While I was paying my fare the driver said:
"You gotta put that thing out."
"What?"
"You gotta put that thing out."
"If you're talking about my pipe, I put it out as I stepped toward the bus."
At this point, she pulled to the curb and said:
"I SAW smoke coming from it when you got on the bus, PUT IT OUT!"
I pulled the pipe from my pocket and showed her that it was empty.
She muttered something unintelligble and pulled away.
Since God loves fools and assholes (He MUST love them, he made so many), I let it drop and sat down.
A block from my stop a woman got on (obviously a regular rider). She paid her fare and asked the driver:
"Didn't you see me this morning? You drove right by me."
"I saw you."
"Why didn't you stop, I was late for work because of you."
"You were smoking a cigarette."
"I put it out before you got to the Bus Stop."
"Well maybe this taught you that you have to put it out when I'm at least a block away."
I think that next time I'll just walk home from the doctor's office.
"You gotta put that thing out."
"What?"
"You gotta put that thing out."
"If you're talking about my pipe, I put it out as I stepped toward the bus."
At this point, she pulled to the curb and said:
"I SAW smoke coming from it when you got on the bus, PUT IT OUT!"
I pulled the pipe from my pocket and showed her that it was empty.
She muttered something unintelligble and pulled away.
Since God loves fools and assholes (He MUST love them, he made so many), I let it drop and sat down.
A block from my stop a woman got on (obviously a regular rider). She paid her fare and asked the driver:
"Didn't you see me this morning? You drove right by me."
"I saw you."
"Why didn't you stop, I was late for work because of you."
"You were smoking a cigarette."
"I put it out before you got to the Bus Stop."
"Well maybe this taught you that you have to put it out when I'm at least a block away."
I think that next time I'll just walk home from the doctor's office.