You Might Be a Pipe Collector If ...

[colesradioactive]

....if your pipe collection is insured but your car isn't.

 

[metalheadycigarguy]

...when your buddies mention "porn" you immediately think of all the websites of the artisan pipe makers you frequently visit.

 

[pstlpkr]

If you have an ear bud in listening to the Pipes Magazine Radio Show, while watching your favorite episode of The Adventues of Sherlock Holmes, while smoking a bowl of Grousemoor, while reading the posts on Pipesmagazine.com and you realize you've forgotten how many pipes you own and are compelled to count them...


Edit: 72... Glad I didn't panic... I might have lost count... and never been heard from again. :D

::

 

[tokerpipes]

If you forget your wedding anniversary date but can remember the date of every pipe purchase.
If you buy your non smoking wife a pipe for your anniversary.

 

[tennsmoker]

If your non-smoking wife shouts out: "What another pipe? You have too many already."

 

[teufelhund]

If instead of hanging family photos you wall mount pipe racks.
If you have an ash tray, lighter, and pipe nail in every room of your house.
If you grow your own blending tobacco to spend more money on pipes.
And one for the TAD: If your cellar is better stocked than your food pantry.

 

[plateauguy]

When your wife asks you to build a china hutch and you install a pipe rack instead of a groove for plates. (She's not speaking to me right now)

 

[allan]

Of all the threads, this has to rank as number one!

 

[pipeaholic]

If...

There's absolutely nothing else that you can think of collecting

You're a pretentious poser who's above regular smokers

You have a fetish for hobbits or that old raging homosexual from lord of the rings

You insist upon assaulting innocent bystanders naustrals whilst demonstrating a 'tough love' approach to 'culturing them'

You're a member of a site(believe it or not) called pipes magazine so that you can discuss your unusual fascination with like minded ponses

You need an excuse to wear slippers and woolen vests and/or need to justify your failed attempts in academia

 

[kcvet67]

You might be a troll if.....

 

[Chasing Embers]

If you have a better selection than your B&M. BTW, I do have a professional carver on speed dial. :mrgreen:

 

[desertpipe]

.....if you have more then a handful of pipes from one carver, and you are on a first name basis with him.....

....if you are convinced that one pipe factory makes the best smoking pipes in the World.....

...if you know exactly what shape smokes THAT tobacco absolutely the best.....

..if more then 50% of the tables at the Pipe Show know your name.....

 

[menuhin]

... if you acquire any pipe because of the reason that it looks cool or special, but not mainly because you want to smoke your tobacco in it;

... if you would avoid smoking any particular pipe of yours just to maintain it in good condition;

... if you have more pipes than the # of tobacco in your cellar;

... if you have more pipes than the # of pipes that you 'need' --- [for a person who smokes only 1 blend or 1 kind of tobacco, the # of pipes he 'need' would be max. # of bowls he smoke per day + 1 given that he practices resting a pipe for the # of day based on the # of bowls he's smoked in it, i.e. 2 pipes if he smokes max. 1 bowl, and 7 pipes if he smokes max. 6 bowls; my calculation is 31 (max. 1 month resting period I heard people practice) x 1-6 (approximate # of genre of tobacco) which gives the person to smoke 31 days straight of only 1 genre];
Oh, it seems I am a 'collector' to a certain degree.

 

[sparrowhawk]

--if you order a personalized Zlppo lighter with your own artwork.

 

[menuhin]

Perhaps:

... basically if you understand and can feeeel what 'pipe porn' means.

8)

 

[owen]

If when looking at pipe babes your eye is constantly drawn to the pipes.

 

[troutface]

...if Smoking Pipes sends you a Christmas card signed by the entire staff.

 

[thehappypiper]

You know you are a pipaholic if

*you realise in horror that you only have two pipes dedicated to the blend you you now have 10lbs of in your cupboard, then buy more of it as you browse for another pipe....."just in case".

*you spend more time thinking about your pipe rotation than what you're going to give your best friend for his birthday

*you give your best friend a pipe for his birthday.

*you start looking at twigs on your driveway as potential tampers

*you will only eat in restaurants which have tables outside.....in January

*the sudden discovery of Balkan Flake sends you into a classification quandarry which results in a complete overhaul of your pipe racks

*the overhaul of your pipe racks makes you realise your stock of Everclear is low, so you immediately go online to get some more.

*you feel a guilty thrill when your child tells you s/he doesn't want to go to college....and start calculating how much storage you need for the tobacco you can buy with the money you;ve saved for their education.

 

[johnnyiii]

:rofl: GUILTY .... GUILTY .... & Guilty

 

[jmmize]

When you look a shapes of pipes instead of shapes of women! :?: