You Might Be a Pipe Collector If ...

[admin]

You guys are probably familiar with Jeff Foxworthy's routine, You Might Be A Redneck if ...
Help me out with "You Might Be a Pipe Collector If ..."

 

[papipeguy]

.....the number of pipes you own outnumbers the pairs of shoes in your wife's closet.
.....they're included in your will.
.....if you can name every one but have think about your children's names.
.....if they're the first thing you grab in a house fire.
I could go on but I'll give the others a shot.

 

[foggymountain]

If you have pipes that have never been smoked. I have a lot of pipes not because I am a collector, but a smoker. This is not a museum. If you give a darn about having entire series or consecutive years of a maker. If you must have every possible finish for a certain shape. If you have a lot of old Playboy centerfolds (there used to be a pipe in the corner of every picture).

 

[eaglerico]

...You forget you actually need to buy tobacco to smoke in them.
Blew all my PAD/TAD money on pipes, then realized "How the hell am I going to buy tobacco?"

 

[zonomo]

.... you've replaced the pics on your wall of your kids with pics of your pipes

.... you have the most amazing TAD/PAD in the world but no car insurance

.... you include your tabacco purchases in your weekly grocery budget

 

[mrgunnar177]

I include my Baccy purchase with the monthly budget :P

 

[mlaug]

...if you bore your friends with arcane information on "draft hole size" and stem construction.
...if your browser's list of favorite websites is only made up of pipe links.
...if you only hand hold so the stem will stay unmarked by tooth chatter.
...if any of this makes sense.
:lol:

 

[mrgunnar177]

...if you do the math of how many dates a new pipe would cost...and then decide to save up for the pipe instead of taking women on dates...

Tis happened a few times but more so on tobacco than a pipe.

 

[docwatson]

If you keep your high grade pipes in a safe!!
If you panic when you realize that you didn't leave a pipe in your car for the trip to work.
If you forego family events to attend pipe shows.

 

[crazypipe]

if you can't find a place to put them ,anymore ::

 

[gmwolford]

If you can remember every model and date of purchase buy can't remember your wife and kids birthdays!

 

[hfearly]

... You own more than one pipe

 

[papipeguy]

.....if you have Mark Tinsky on speed dial.

.....if Mark Tinsky has you on his speed dial.

 

[metarzan]

It's too cold to check the mail or take out the trash but you gladly will sit on the porch for an hour to break in new briar.

 

[shawn]

…if the only house you do is dust your pipe collection.

 

[strongirish]

If you have to buy a Rv trailer to put next to your house to store them because your office study, closets and any surface area in your house is too full!

 

[topd]

if you're constantly trying to make sure you have more pipes at home than at the fish or deer camp.

 

[cynyr]

...if the cleaning is as relaxing as the smoking.

...if your browser's list of favorite websites is only made up of pipe links.

Guilty of this on my work PC

 

[JimInks]

If your former pipe smoking buddies are buried in your back yard and their collections are in your den!

 

[eaglerico]

If your former pipe smoking buddies are buried in your back yard and their collections are in your den!

Ummmm.......what? :crazy: I am not so sure I want to have a smoke with you. :rofl: