Would you keep an ugly pipe that smokes really well?

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Sgetz

Lifer
May 21, 2020
1,589
2,298
74
UK
I have an old Yello Bole bulldog that's really pretty ugly. But, I always get a good smoke from it and I wouldn't trade it.

Would you keep a pretty pipe that smokes lousy?
Nope. But I'm old. I can't see the pipe as I clench it!
 
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MisterBadger

Part of the Furniture Now
Oct 6, 2024
653
4,868
Ludlow, UK
Beauty is very subjective.

We were watching a K-drama on Netflix recently and my wife commented that she thought one of the actresses was quite inattractive.

I, on the other hand, thought the opposite.
I thought that her features were very interesting and intriguing - you kept getting drawn back to her facial expressions.
And that can be more alluring than one who is “merely” beautiful
Yes. Absolutely. This is the French concept of 'jolie-laide', or the Japanese 'wabi-sabi'. Why don't we have a word for it in English?
 

Mrs. Pickles

Starting to Get Obsessed
May 8, 2022
276
1,273
AZ, USA
Is there shape/stem length you would recommend? I am looking at this $13 beauty:

That looks like it’ll be a fantastic pipe. The glaze should keep your lips safe from abrasions against the clay as well. No need for nail polish.

With regard to stem length, I’ve had great experiences with both short and long stem clays, although getting the draw right seems to be a little easier for me with a shorter stem. I once had long stem snap in half due to a small pebble lodged in the clay. After some fine-grit sanding of the broken edges, the pipe smokes even better now.

Clay with small to moderate bowl sizes, seem to work especially well with Virginia flake. My theory is that better heat retention of the clay is delicately lifting out the fragrance. Sending the heat of the bowl in my hand also informs my cadence.

There are a few Old German clay pipes with large 0.90 inch + bowl diameters. These seem to do well with complex multi-component English and “kitchen sink” blends.

The oldest clay in my closet is a gnarly looking billiard with a bowl that’s .98 inch diameter. A gross fingernail-sized imprint is on the interior of the bowl. I’m guessing it’s from whoever laid the pipe in the kiln. That pipe has delivered beautiful, high-definition smokes of everything everything I’ve put in it, including (unknown to me at the time) a bowl of Sobraine 759.
 

PLANofMAN

Starting to Get Obsessed
Jan 13, 2024
127
247
44
Salem, Oregon
My best smokers are Algerian briar pipes, and I've yet to see an Algerian with fantastic looking grain. Tight grain, yes, but it tends to go everywhere.

The ugliest ones get Marxman stamps on the stummel, and look like they've been gnawed by a beaver.
 

PLANofMAN

Starting to Get Obsessed
Jan 13, 2024
127
247
44
Salem, Oregon
Yes. Absolutely. This is the French concept of 'jolie-laide', or the Japanese 'wabi-sabi'. Why don't we have a word for it in English?
Because we just use 'jolie-laide' or 'wabi-sadi' instead, like the good borrowers of other languages that we are?

'Unconventional beauty' or 'rustic charm' is probably about as close as English gets.
Craptastic? 🤔 :sher:
I think I saw that used once to describe a lifted Yugo with oversized mudding tires.
 
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sardonicus87

Lifer
Jun 28, 2022
1,401
14,218
37
Lower Alabama
For the ugly but good smoker or the pretty but bad smoker, it depends.

I have only a handful of pipes relatively speaking (5 briars, 2 meers, 7 cheap clays) and they all smoke well, some marginally better than others.

If the ugly pipe is ugly, I'd get rid of it because I have plenty of pipes that smoke well. But ugly would mean to me... I wouldn't count some minor imperfections as ugly, or wear and tear. Ugly would be even if new and in proper condition, I would have found it unattractive (color, shape, style, etc).

A pretty pipe that was a bad smoker, I might keep just as decoration if it looks pretty enough to be decor, but it would have to be pretty damn aesthetically pleasing to me, and quite fancy to boot. It can't just be good looking, it has to be really good looking.

I honestly can't say exactly where each threshold would be. And just because I might not find a pipe to be pretty, that doesn't mean I find it to be ugly, and vice verse. The vast majority of pipes I have seen are neither ugly nor pretty, regardless of whether or not I care for the look of the pipe (like if it is or is not my style). Like Oom Pauls are inherently unattractive to me, I dislike them (aesthetically), but I wouldn't necessarily call them ugly (the shape alone would ruin it for me if it would otherwise have been highly attractive). Cavaliers aren't to my taste either, but I have seen some pretty ones. And while my favorite shape is slightly bent apple, I've seen some absolutely hideous ones.

And it wouldn't matter to me if it were a gift regardless of how much the person meant to me, unless the person has to be in my life for some reason and would be an annoyingly sentimental crybaby about it if they found out I tossed it. Even then, I'd just not say anything and if they noticed I didn't have it, probably make up an excuse that I lost it somewhere.

When it comes to stuff I enjoy, I try not to make it too obvious, I already don't like getting gifts to begin with, let alone gifts for something I enjoy and am picky about. I have a wishlist of stuff on Amazon that family can buy for me for birthdays or Christmas or whatever if they want to give me a gift, all inexpensive stuff that I could use, but don't need. For instance, a floor vacuum attachment for my shop vac would be quite handy, been on my list 2 years now. Currently on the list that I hope someone buys me is a bulk pack of microfiber cleaning cloths. But apparently, my wishlist is "boring", they want to get me something THEY think is "meaningful" to them, rather than what I would appreciate or could actually use instead of wasting space. Gift giving is always about the gift-giver, either them trying to hold something over you or them trying to boost their own ego. If you want to show you care, be there if I need help (almost never), or just reach out from time to time, don't buy me off with perfunctory junk.
 
Last edited:

jpberg

Lifer
Aug 30, 2011
3,256
7,710
Just to clarify. I was asking two questions.

And, I didn't buy this pipe. It was part of a collection that an elderly neighbor gave me a long time ago. I wouldn't have picked it out myself.
Yup. I got an old Magic Inch (old for them - probably early sixties, patent number) in a box lot many years ago. I couldn’t take the filter set up, wrapped the slots with electrical tape, and happily smoked that thing for years.
It burned tobacco, and delivered smoke very well.
 

MisterBadger

Part of the Furniture Now
Oct 6, 2024
653
4,868
Ludlow, UK
<SNIP>

they want to get me something THEY think is "meaningful" to them, rather than what I would appreciate or could actually use instead of wasting space. Gift giving is always about the gift-giver, either them trying to hold something over you or them trying to boost their own ego.
Never a truer word said, I think. Consider Ebernezer Scrooge, just after his epiphany on Christmas morning: he sends a passing lad in the street below to buy the biggest turkey in the local butcher's, and deliver it to his impoverished clerk Bob Cratchitt and his numerous, starveling family. We're all supposed to be touched and charmed by that spectacular generosity...
...but consider poor Mrs. Cratchitt: at home, they haven't an oven big enough to cook the bird in. They probably haven't even a baking-tray big enough to put it on, to take to the local bakery and borrow space in one of their ovens (this was general practice among the poorer sort in those days). And even if they did, by Christmas morning all the space in bakers' ovens would have been advance-booked by everyone else. Did Scrooge spare a thought for the recipients of his largesse? He did not. He was completely enthralled by his (habitual) egotistic self-view. It's an irony lost on nearly everybody who read the book or sees the film.
 
Never a truer word said, I think. Consider Ebernezer Scrooge, just after his epiphany on Christmas morning: he sends a passing lad in the street below to buy the biggest turkey in the local butcher's, and deliver it to his impoverished clerk Bob Cratchitt and his numerous, starveling family. We're all supposed to be touched and charmed by that spectacular generosity...
...but consider poor Mrs. Cratchitt: at home, they haven't an oven big enough to cook the bird in. They probably haven't even a baking-tray big enough to put it on, to take to the local bakery and borrow space in one of their ovens (this was general practice among the poorer sort in those days). And even if they did, by Christmas morning all the space in bakers' ovens would have been advance-booked by everyone else. Did Scrooge spare a thought for the recipients of his largesse? He did not. He was completely enthralled by his (habitual) egotistic self-view. It's an irony lost on nearly everybody who read the book or sees the film.
So, poor people don't have knives that they can cut the bird up with?
 
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Briarcutter

Part of the Furniture Now
Aug 17, 2023
622
4,234
U.S.A.
Never a truer word said, I think. Consider Ebernezer Scrooge, just after his epiphany on Christmas morning: he sends a passing lad in the street below to buy the biggest turkey in the local butcher's, and deliver it to his impoverished clerk Bob Cratchitt and his numerous, starveling family. We're all supposed to be touched and charmed by that spectacular generosity...
...but consider poor Mrs. Cratchitt: at home, they haven't an oven big enough to cook the bird in. They probably haven't even a baking-tray big enough to put it on, to take to the local bakery and borrow space in one of their ovens (this was general practice among the poorer sort in those days). And even if they did, by Christmas morning all the space in bakers' ovens would have been advance-booked by everyone else. Did Scrooge spare a thought for the recipients of his largesse? He did not. He was completely enthralled by his (habitual) egotistic self-view. It's an irony lost on nearly everybody who read the book or sees the film.
Or.......maybe they could cut it up and cook smaller portions. If someone gave me a whole cow I'd be very grateful even though it wouldn't fit in my oven.
 

MisterBadger

Part of the Furniture Now
Oct 6, 2024
653
4,868
Ludlow, UK
So, poor people don't have knives that they can cut the bird up with?

Then, Briarcutter:

maybe they could cut it up and cook smaller portions. If someone gave me a whole cow I'd be very grateful even though it wouldn't fit in my oven.
- It's 1842, people. The Cratchitts have a fireplace, and we read that they also have a copper, in which the Christmas pudding is boiling. As per these suggestions, the Cratchitt's options are either to have boiled turkey, by adding slices to the boiling water in the copper, or fried turkey in a skillet over the fire. What they are NOT getting today, is roast turkey :cry:
 
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buroak

Lifer
Jul 29, 2014
2,127
1,033
NW Missouri
My two Pipe Maker pipes are not particularly ugly, but they are 5's at best. However, because they are such reliably good smokers, I keep them. I bought them as artifacts of days gone by - examples of working men's pipes for my American drug store pipe collection. That said, because they smoke great, I keep them even thought I have found and acquired better examples since purchasing them.
This! I have some pipes that I bought for similar reasons. They are not lookers, but all are reliably good smokers. One very ugly specimen I purchased unsmoked has been a world beater as a smoker from the first bowl.
 

FLDRD

Lifer
Oct 13, 2021
2,343
9,552
Arkansas
My best smokers are Algerian briar pipes, and I've yet to see an Algerian with fantastic looking grain. Tight grain, yes, but it tends to go everywhere.

The ugliest ones get Marxman stamps on the stummel, and look like they've been gnawed by a beaver.
You need to familiarize yourself with the praises of Algerian briar from member BriarLee................
 
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PLANofMAN

Starting to Get Obsessed
Jan 13, 2024
127
247
44
Salem, Oregon
You need to familiarize yourself with the praises of Algerian briar from member BriarLee................
Oh I know. It was more tongue in cheek than anything.

That being said, if I could wave my hand and turn all my pipes into Algerian, I would. They taste better and smoke better, no doubt.
 
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telescopes

Pipe Dreamer and Star Gazer
Gift giving is always about the gift-giver, either them trying to hold something over you or them trying to boost their own ego. If you want to show you care, be there if I need help (almost never), or just reach out from time to time, don't buy me off with perfunctory junk.
This is a broad and sweeping statement. Gift receiving is a learned attitude as well. If you can't use the gift, you can always pass it on. The best gifts never require any thing from the recipient - which is why flowers or a bottle of wine are better than a puppy or a potted plant. The gift is a thought that should, send a message of respect or friendship but not incur a cost of time or action on the recipient - learning to give gifts is an art as well - and the best gift givers take the time to learn about the recipient and find out what they enjoy. In the Western World, speaking mostly for America - Gift giving has unfortunately gone the way of expecting a tip or feeling the need to tip. But that should never tarnish the recipient's attitude toward receiving a gift. Simple is always better and a gift that occurs no obligations is one that should always be welcomed. Learning to receive a gift is the ultimate gift. If the joy on the recipients face is welcoming and warm-hearted, so what if it builds up the ego of a gift giver. The world is harsh enough and brightening up the soul of another human is timeless, even if only for that moment.

In the case of Scrooge, it is obvious that if Bob could not use the entire goose, Bob, being poor, would have shared it with his neighbors and passed on the joy. If not, the goose would be cut up and preserved for many other meals. Regardless, and what is lost in the example, is that the next day Scrooge met with Bob to raise his salary and bring him more into the business and even pay for Bob's son's healthcare. Duh?

The story is one of redemption - that even the most miserable and miserly of men even in the winter of their lives can change and make amends. Bob's gift to Scrooge was to accept the gifts. Scrooge's nephew embraced his uncle in the same manner.

The story would have fell flat if the recipients would have acted differently, right?

Anyway, this is about ugly pipes and I don't want to unnecessarily contribute to the bird walk the thread has started to explore. But this is the season for giving: So in closing, here are my thoughts on gift giving.

1. A gift should demonstrate that you took the time to know the person you are giving the gift to;
2. It should incur no obligation on the recipient of their time or their private space; and
3. It should be simple and possibly one that can be either shared with other or has a limited shelf life that impedes joy while it exists.
 
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