Worst Gifts Ever

[cosmicfolklore]

Reminds me of how silly the gift guide is on the PM radio show. “Hey honey, it would help if you listen to this pipe & tobacco podcast for gift ideas”.

:::cough cough::: my wife listens to it with me. Even as an Ex anti-smoking nazi, she can now hold her own in a tobacco discussion. New Years Eve a couple of years ago, she joined me in a smoking lounge to watcha band and count down the new year. A big biker dude asks for help picking out a vanilla cigar. Mrs Cosmic shouts out, “do you need a tampon with that aromatic!” The whole place busted a nut laughing, and I serioisly thought I might not live to see the new year, ha ha.

 

[lawdawg]

No complaints from me. I’ve gone through difficult times and great times. A gift is a gift and always appreciated.

I love giving something a person wants.

@lawdawg , love those boots, I have a pair of Chipawa made LL Bean Engineer and some Monkey Boot by Dr Marten.

Thanks! I have a pair of Chippewa trench boots, and have bought a couple pairs of Chippewas for my wife. Great bang for your buck with that brand, though sadly they discontinued a lot of their better boots that were made in the USA

 

[Streeper541]

I once received some organizational regalia from a member of a group I formally belonged to as a not so subtle nudge to please come back...

That, and I've gotten socks & boxers on more than one occasion. ?

 

[condorlover1]

@Chris Streeper: That has to be the most interesting and cryptic response ever with the word 'organizational regalia'. I guess you are too young to be in the SS and we all know that Klan members only smoke 'Clan'. Boy Scouts of America? Rolls Royce Owners Club or maybe that one that Laurel and Hardy belonged too. But I suppose we digress. I tend not to get useless Xmas gifts. Mrs Condorlover always gets shoes, Weezell and Condorlover swap stuff all year round, my nephews get a check and that just about covers the issue to everyones satisfaction.

 

[rajangan]

I hate the Costco pajama pants my cheap-ass sister-in-law got me. Partly because, c'mon, you were at Costco anyway to buy your supermegafamilypacksnjarsnbagsofnonsense; but also because they are ugly and too hot and make my balls sweat.

 

[gamzultovah]

The only really shitty gifts I ever received were at my wedding. Several of my parents' friends were pathological cheapskates, one of whom "gave" us a clearly well and much used toaster. Another gave up a silver plated wine carafe, one of those long round bottomed ones meant to sit on a base, also clearly not new and missing the base, so there was no way to use it. MInd you, neither of these friends were of limited means. They were just tight with a penny, regardless.

The funniest gifts I've got were at my 60th birthday. My girlfriend set up a dinner party with my brother and his wife. After a truly spectacular meal, out came the gifts. I opened the first one and it was a black terry cloth bathrobe. Everyone admired the bathrobe and I opened the second box and it was...
another bathrobe, this one padded flannel tartan.

Two bathrobes.

I think that a message was being sent.

So, if I’m reading this correctly, you have a wife and a girlfriend? You lucky dog!

 

[cosmicfolklore]

@Chris Streeper: That has to be the most interesting and cryptic response ever with the word 'organizational regalia'. I guess you are too young to be in the SS and we all know that Klan members only smoke 'Clan'. Boy Scouts of America? Rolls Royce Owners Club or maybe that one that Laurel and Hardy belonged too. But I suppose we digress. I tend not to get useless Xmas gifts. Mrs Condorlover always gets shoes, Weezell and Condorlover swap stuff all year round, my nephews get a check and that just about covers the issue to everyones satisfaction.

You know…. Those thoughts ran through my mind also.

 

[Ahi Ka]

This is quickly becoming my favourite thread of all time. I just can’t help imagining how stoked @mso489 would have been to receive Sable’s 2 bathrobes as a present

 

[beefeater33]

I told my kids when they were young enough to understand that I never wanted tangible gifts. If they want to gift me anything just give me a card. Homemade is even better and makes a true gift.

I still have every card my kids have given me.

My X wife couldn’t follow simple instructions, hence the X.

I'm with Tim on this one..................
I have three daughters, and I've instilled in them that that best gifts are gifts from the heart.
I just married off my oldest daughter last Saturday, she's 25............ Had to hold back the tears a bit walking her down the aisle............ they grow up so fast.
Anyways, she gave me a framed photo of her on my shoulders, when she was about 3 years old.......
We were standing in front of a 12' tall sunflower I grew that year, and her smile is a mile wide.
She put some pressed flowers around the photo that came from my late mother, she had left them to her and pressed them years ago.........
On the backdrop she wrote in gold pen......."Today a Bride, Tomorrow a Wife, Always your little Girl, Love Camelia"............... Fellas, there's NO better gift than that!!...................
Greatest gift Ever!!
Edit- pic was taken circa 1999

 

[Streeper541]

You know…. Those thoughts ran through my mind also.

It's more fun for everybody that way too...?

 

[sablebrush52]

So, if I’m reading this correctly, you have a wife and a girlfriend? You lucky dog!

Brother had wife, who has since passed away. I had girlfriend, who 40+ years ago was college sweetie and then wife #1. We got back together about 11 years ago, but are now just friends.

 

[mikethompson]

I still have every card my kids have given me

Same here.

My dad always told me growing up all he wanted was a card, and I never really believed / understood what he meant until I had kids of my own.

 

[Sweet Home Alabama]

Thanks! I have a pair of Chippewa trench boots, and have bought a couple pairs of Chippewas for my wife. Great bang for your buck with that brand, though sadly they discontinued a lot of their better boots that were made in the USA

Just so you know, I received an ad on my Outlook account for Allen Edmonds shows. I must be being followed...LOL!!

I think my Chippaws are US made being over 20 years old. They are heavy, more heavy than the Monkey Boots.

Have you ever worn Clarke Desert Boots or similar?

 

[cosmicfolklore]

I have never complained about gifts from my kids. I treasure the cards. Not to brag, but my girls have always been really good artists. But, they have had the sort of dad that was really strict about what goes on the fridge. “Go back and color this in better.” “Layer your ons.” “Redraw the dragon, because this time I think you’ve almost got it.” I mean, why spend 9 years studying art if I can't at least push them to do better, ha ha. But, cards are different. And, usually their best work.

Now of course they gift me cigars, pipe tobaccos, and books on tobaccos…. Along with cards they make. My step son travels internationally with his job, so he usually gifts me wines that he knows that I am looking for.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

Layer your ons.

Damn, forum programming keeps turning the word CRAYons into ons.

 

[lawdawg]

I once received some organizational regalia from a member of a group I formally belonged to as a not so subtle nudge to please come back...

That, and I've gotten socks & boxers on more than one occasion. ?

I got a few pairs of LL Bean boot socks as a gift once while living in Chicago, and I thought they were a great gift!

Just so you know, I received an ad on my Outlook account for Allen Edmonds shows. I must be being followed...LOL!!

I think my Chippaws are US made being over 20 years old. They are heavy, more heavy than the Monkey Boots.

Have you ever worn Clarke Desert Boots or similar?

I have a pair of Clark’s desert boots too.

 

[winton]

This year, I bought all 3 gifts for my birthday. The best was a framed letter from Clyde Champion Barrow, (Bonnie & Clyde). He sent a letter to Henry Ford, praising his cars. He always tried to use Fords for his get away vehicles. This was the best $2 I have ever spent.

 

[jpmcwjr]

I usually get a shirt and a piece of ass from my wife for gift occasions. Both are always too big.

Wow! Complaining about the latter! Methinks you're lucky, and you'll grow into both.

 

[Sweet Home Alabama]

This year, I bought all 3 gifts for my birthday. The best was a framed letter from Clyde Champion Barrow, (Bonnie & Clyde). He sent a letter to Henry Ford, praising his cars. He always tried to use Fords for his get away vehicles. This was the best $2 I have ever spent.

I love it. Those “death car” photos give me the shivers.

 

[jpmcwjr]

Damn, forum programming keeps turning the word CRAYons into ons.

That's just !