Worst Gifts Ever

[lawdawg]

The "trick" of giving gifts it to listen to the person being gifted. Occasionally, when my wife admires something, I will immediately offer to get it for the next gifting occasion, rather than squander money on something I'm only guessing she'd like. She has been pretty brilliant buying me pipes and tobaccos. Among the pipes were my first churchwarden and my first Oom-Paul. Some people are fated to be poor at gifting. One friend gave my wife laboratory pipettes for cooking -- don't ask. Gifts can be really intimate and loving, if they reflect the close attention you have paid the person being gifted. If possible, avoid just gifting cash.

I try to do the same for my wife, except I buy the thing secretly well in advance of the occasion then stuff it in the back of the closet until it's time to give the gift. I'm sure not all of my gifts to her have hit the mark, but I do my best. More than anything, I just want her to know that I listen to her and pay attention to what she likes.

 

[pappymac]

My wife did “raid” my last order from Estervals and confiscated two 100g tins. She said I will find them wrapped under the tree for Christmas.

 

[captainsousie]

I can't think of any I've gotten but my favorite bad gift to give is the book Sex For Dummies as a wedding present. It always goes over really well when they open it in front of the whole family.

 

[beezer]

A stapler and a sports bra.

On the latter, while I may have moobs I don't need an athletic boulder holder for them.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

A stapler and a sports bra.

Ouch!

 

[CoffeeAndBourbon]

Ouch!

Don't use together...

 

[anotherbob]

life I mean it's a gift I enjoy but it comes with so much responsibility and maintenance.

 

[hoosierpipeguy]

I usually get a shirt and a piece of ass from my wife for gift occasions. Both are always too big.

 

[jaytex1969]

My parents put no effort into gift giving and grab whatever they see the day before an event. Or the dreaded check...

I gave myself the gift of all my time and all my money by not spawning.
Yes, I will die lonely, but the decades leading up to that will make it worthwhile....

I try to do the same for my wife, except I buy the thing secretly well in advance of the occasion then stuff it in the back of the closet until it's time to give the gift. I'm sure not all of my gifts to her have hit the mark, but I do my best. More than anything, I just want her to know that I listen to her and pay attention to what she likes.

I used to be rather clueless in gifting, the first few years of marriage. My wife always seemed to hit the nail on the head, so I followed her example and eventually developed a method similar to the lawdawg.

 

[bullet08]

A bucket of chicken wing. Wait.. I actually enjoyed it.

 

[smudgersmissingleg]

My old man is a piece of piss to buy gifts for. Some decent cigars & a bottle of one of the Glenmorangie limited editions and he's a happy camper.

 

[wyfbane]

I have always been very blessed where gifts are concerned. My poor son, notsomuch.

My ex wife missed 2 of his birthdays and 2 Christmases when he was 8-9. Her daughter continued to have her rent paid and car note covered by my ex.

I covered down by going 1/2 with my parents one year and getting him the lego deathstar. The next I got him the nerf belt fed machinegun dart thingie. Birthdays were easier to cover.

My ex-wife is a POS.

 

[mso489]

For those who don't much cotton to having their vulnerabilities exposed, like your loving emotions, just remember the enlightened self interest of giving carefully considered gifts that the person actually likes and wants. People who despise Valentines Day are really missing a golden opportunity to display feeling they aren't going to exhibit much otherwise. Or like Scrooge, if you can't cut loose some emotion, at least slip Tiny Tim a fifty.

 

[Misanthrope]

Don't use together...

But staples keep the bra from shifting around unnecessarily...

 

[Tar Wheel]

I’m a huge sports fan and a diehard loyalist to the teams I root for. My family has decided that I need to be reminded of that, with every gift I receive.

Shirts, jackets, hats, wallets, can coolers, beer mugs, shot glasses, can openers, flasks, trash cans, monopoly board games, slippers, garden gnomes, throw blankets, key chains, license plate holders, countless trinkets of all kind, etc., etc. Basically, anything that you can put a logo on, I have it.

It’s turned into a game of who can find the most outlandish gift with a team logo on it. 95% of it never sees the light of day after I‘ve received it.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

I’m a huge sports fan and a diehard loyalist to the teams I root for. My family has decided that I need to be reminded of that, with every gift I receive.

Shirts, jackets, hats, wallets, can coolers, beer mugs, shot glasses, can openers, flasks, trash cans, monopoly board games, slippers, garden gnomes, throw blankets, key chains, license plate holders, countless trinkets of all kind, etc., etc. Basically, anything that you can put a logo on, I have it.

It’s turned into a game of who can find the outlandish gift with a team logo it. 95% of it never sees the light of day after I‘ve received it.

Living in the middle of FOOTBALL country, here, you have to pick a team, like politics or religion. But, I’ve just never cared for football. Hell, I don’t even know the rules.
But, both husbands on both sides of me obviously are very easy to gift for. Both of them, everything they own is team oriented. One wears all red with a red truck and big “A” decals down the side, and he dresses for church in houndstooth and a Bear Bryant fedora. The other drives a blue Prius with a big eagle on the hood, and even his flip flops are War Eagle, ha ha. I mean, I have never seen either of them wearing green, purple, or even brown.
Their families must just have the easiest of times shopping for them.

I’ve had to go out a few times and referee shouting matches between them, before it came to blows, ha ha.

It is absolutely true that on Iron Bowl day, you could walk down Main Street stark naked, and no one would notice.

 

[mortonbriar]

My mother in law used to 'almost get it' like the plastic peace pipe with wolves on the side she found in a thrift store and thought I might actually smoke...or the XXL hoodie with bling gold zippers and flashy gold plaid design (she had picked up that I both liked flannel shirts, and hoodies and therefore had found the 'perfect' combination for me). Eventually though, she settled into a regular annual gifting of socks and undies which to me is actually the perfect gift from a mother in law. She has passed now, and whenever the top draw is running low I think of her and how dependably full my drawer of drawers used to be, RIP Mary!

 

[crashthegrey]

A few years after my grandmother passed, I went to see my grandfather and his girlfriend for Christmas. A bit awkward to begin with. She clearly forgot my wife and I were coming and she gave us a hastily wrapped cream pouring vessel in the shape of a lemon. Super odd, until I saw it was wet and caked in dirt. I bet my wife there was a dead plant in the sink. Low and behold, sink of dirt and dumped plant. I laugh about it frequently. Honestly, one of my favorite worst gifts.

 

[Sweet Home Alabama]

No complaints from me. I’ve gone through difficult times and great times. A gift is a gift and always appreciated.

I love giving something a person wants.

@lawdawg , love those boots, I have a pair of Chipawa made LL Bean Engineer and some Monkey Boot by Dr Marten.

 

[trudger]

Reminds me of how silly the gift guide is on the PM radio show. “Hey honey, it would help if you listen to this pipe & tobacco podcast for gift ideas”.