What White Lies Were You Told as a Child or Have You Told Your Children?

Log in

SmokingPipes.com Updates

Watch for Updates Twice a Week

PipesMagazine Approved Sponsor

PipesMagazine Approved Sponsor

PipesMagazine Approved Sponsor

PipesMagazine Approved Sponsor

PipesMagazine Approved Sponsor

mso489

Lifer
Feb 21, 2013
41,210
60,459
No outright standing fibs. I doubted Santa when I was about five. However, my dad was good at sales pitches. When I was prescribed a particularly foul tasting liquid medicine for a chronic cough, my dad would prepare it in a special little glass, hold it up with bright eyed pleasure and announce it was time for my magic potion.

It still tasted vile and sour, but the inspirational idea that it was potion, and magic at that, made it go down easily. That worked for a year or more, as long as I had to take the med. I think I eventually decided I hadn't seen any magic, but I still appreciated the ritual, since I knew it was well meant. Kids are often pretty bright. Besides which, I also appreciated the drama.

He was always somewhat theatrical. You should have heard his speech on his second retirement. It was real Nineteenth Century oratory.
 

bullet08

Lifer
Nov 26, 2018
8,948
37,972
RTP, NC. USA
Told my kids that there's Mr. Chocolate living in the pantry and if they were nice, he will hand out chocolates. I remember them going to pantry often to yell at Mr. Chocolate.

Once when older kids were a toddler he was running around without undie. Told him one of my friends did that and Mr. Peepee took away my friend's peepee. He never ran around naked again.
 

Jaylotw

Lifer
Mar 13, 2020
1,062
4,063
NE Ohio
We recently had a kid from Mississippi come work on the farm, he didn't last long, but man he was a treasure trove of this kind of stuff.

He wouldn't get close to a toad because it would give him warts.

He hid his cellphone when a storm came because it would attract lightning.

You eat a raw onion when you're sick (with anything).

Being outside when it was below 50 instantly made you sick.

Being rained on meant you wouldn't sleep for a day.

Maybe these are more just folklore. I don't know.

My dad used to tell me that if I started smoking, no women would want me. He smoked 4 packs a day. He died before he got to meet my wife. We met when she bummed a smoke off me.
 

mawnansmiff

Lifer
Oct 14, 2015
7,433
7,384
Sunny Cornwall, UK.
No outright standing fibs. I doubted Santa when I was about five. However, my dad was good at sales pitches. When I was prescribed a particularly foul tasting liquid medicine for a chronic cough, my dad would prepare it in a special little glass, hold it up with bright eyed pleasure and announce it was time for my magic potion.

It still tasted vile and sour, but the inspirational idea that it was potion, and magic at that, made it go down easily. That worked for a year or more, as long as I had to take the med. I think I eventually decided I hadn't seen any magic, but I still appreciated the ritual, since I knew it was well meant. Kids are often pretty bright. Besides which, I also appreciated the drama.

He was always somewhat theatrical. You should have heard his speech on his second retirement. It was real Nineteenth Century oratory.
I was forced to eat a large desert spoonful of malt that came in a huge jar, bigger than my head every day to 'build me up and make a man of me'. I forget what lame name they called it but I absolutely hated the stuff.

I'm surprised it never put me off drinking beer in later life :oops:

Regards,

Jay.
 
Aug 1, 2012
4,605
5,162
When driving from Tennessee to New York, somewhere along the way there was a huge sign saying "Santa Claus is a myth and lying to your children brings about moral decay!" I've got pictures of it somewhere but it was mid December and on a major interstate.


For me as a kid it was the old "stick out your lip and a bird will shit on it" which I did not believe in the least.


The best lie I told to kids was that myself and all the other male teachers in the building were brothers. When they said "why do you have different last names?" We would say "same mom, different dad." This lasted for two years and included 8 different people. Some did figure it out but the rest were so convinced that they were steamrolled by the belief that we were brothers. Ah, the good old days.