The 4 Stages PAD
1. Desire
“OMFG, it’s perfect.” “That’s the nicest pipe I’ve ever seen.” “I can’t believe my eyes.” “It is rather expensive though, and the wife would kill me.”
Ahh, the initial stage of PAD. We’re so innocent and that first pipe is so difficult to resist. However, early PAD can still hear the voice of reason somewhere off in the distance, so rather than pull the trigger we find ourselves checking the pictures online constantly, we catch ourselves thinking about the pipe throughout the day.
The strength of such desire will be more or less intense, depending on the individual. The unmistakable first sign is the internal debate, as you try to resist an instinctive pull. Among all those lovely pipes you have a special feeling about a particular pipe from the first time you saw it: How many of us have been there? It’s pure desire; a revisit to the sweet memories of childhood, when we just had to have that new toy. But as an adult, we’re still debating whether to purchase it or not. Although we don’t realize it, we are in search of a justification.
2. Justification
“It would be a good investment.” “I don’t have enough pipes to let the others rest properly.” “It is surely a great smoker.” “Besides the wife would understand, she’s always buying new shoes and never consults me.”
Making the decision to make that first purchase online can be the most difficult part, however we somehow manage convince ourselves we are doing the right thing. The internal negotiation gives in to our uncontrollable desire to pull the trigger, that life-long struggle to control our impulses, abandons us and we begin to await the package in the mail.
3. Collection
“Sweet pipe.” “Great score.” “Nice freehand.” “Gotta get me a Tinsky.” “PM sent.”
The third stage of PAD sets in immediately after the euphoria of coming home from work and finding the package with that perfect pipe you purchased. You felt like a kid opening a birthday present. Before you know it, you begin posting photos of your pipe on the forum and your conversations are now focused how much you love your new pipe.
You now respond to all PAD postings, and you begin to see you are not alone in your constant need for more pipes. You spend more time browsing the sponsor sites and searching the net for more “must have” pipes. You now consider yourself a collector and your collection grows rapidly.
Buying is not always bad; but as your tastes become more refined, earlier purchases just become ordinary pipes and soon it will be time to thin the herd.
4. Reckless Abandon
“Pipe collecting is a serious investment.” “OMG, that pipe will be worth a fortune in a few years.” “It would be better to have less pipes, but much more expensive ones.” “I haven’t smoked many of my pipes in months.” “It’s time to thin the herd.”
The important thing to remember is you are a collector so selling off your old pipes to make room for new ones is the “logical” thing to do. Even though you sell them off at discounted prices, your next purchases will be wiser investments. It’s all part of the learning curve, you are going to reinvest in true collector pipes this time and not just follow your uncontrollable urge for new pipes!
The experience bittersweet, as you hate to let go of what were once your favorite pipes, but you know that it will all be worth it. You will now have that birth year Dunny you’ve always wanted, for the investment, of course.
The day you wake up and say “I lost my ass a little on some pipes I auctioned off last month” “I have a pipe in my sights, not just a pipe, but one of those looked around forever pipes and couldn't find and have now just stumbled across it” “It's a doubt I'll find another one like it and I need to act ASAP before it goes away”
Reckless Abandon is the stage where you turn to your partners, and ask, “What is this stage of PAD called?”