Too Large to Smoke in Public

[Chasing Embers]

I really like the look of the reverse calabash. Do you have any recent pics of it?

Just took this one.

 

[Briar Lee]

Hey Briar Lee, the picture really puts the size in perspective. I am sure you got some strange looks from the pizza people. Most of pipe smokers do anyways but given the size of your pipe I presume that you most certainly did!

I forget sometimes that only a select, blessed and limited number of men in this old sin cussed world were raised by Campbellite mothers.

For example, on St. Patrick’s Day the other boys would wear something green to school. Our mothers knew that St. Patrick’s Day was an excuse by drunks to drink green beer. If we wore green, we put something on after we were safely out of their sight.

If the accessory didn’t make a man look sharp then he knew better, than to have in on in public.

My father and I could wear bib overalls, but only Big Smith engineer stripe ones, with a freshly washed and ironed button up collared shirt, and only on the farm, never to town, and never at the dinner table.

The benefits to this were, our fathers had never in their life bought a singe stitch clothing, nor had they touched a washing machine, and the only thing they were demanded to do, was carefully select the clothes and accessories they wore that were provided to them first by their mother, then their wife.

As a cautionary parable (there were unending such parables) about always looking sharp in public, my mother often told the Parable of Georgia and the Bib Overalls.

My father had an uncle that lived on Elmer’s 60 until 1936 when he sold the farm and moved to the State of California where he and his wife Cora worked like a slave in the fields near Bakersfield, and he died without ever seeing Humansville again. (This was a parable against selling land, as well)

But Cora and Elmer had married young (he was 23, another parable against early marriage) and they had a daughter named Georgia who of course grew up to be ravishingly beautiful, like her mother, and like her mother married young.

Her new husband was a good boy, from a good family, and Georgia dutifully bought and washed his clothes, but the boy would go to town with Georgia wearing bib overalls and no shirt.

My mother faulted Georgia for allowing such improprieties, but the fault of course was the boy’s mother, who’d never taught him not to wear bib overalls in public with a gorgeous wife was a recipe for certain disaster.


In 1929 a high ranking executive of J.C. Penny named Dimmit, had a forty year old son drink himself to death, and in his grief spent a large part of his fortune to donate a new regional hospital, community building and park to Humansville in memory of his wastrel, drunken son.

My father’s family had all gone to Humansville to greet somebody arriving on the northbound train, and Georgia left her baby with Cora and went to town with her shirtless husband wearing bib overalls.

The train arrived, the guests disembarked, the family greeted them, but when it was time to return home, Georgia could not be found.

The station master told the family, that a well dressed young doctor who had helped install X-ray machines in the new Dimmit Memorial Hospital was waiting on the northbound train, had escorted Georgia on the train, paid her ticket, and Georgia,,,,,was gone.


Georgia’s husband wailed, and cried, and prayed that Georgia would come back. She did come back, in a huge Packard with spare tires on both fenders, take her baby son back from Cora, divorce her husband, and her new husband adopted her son, who also became a doctor in Chicago.


Whenever I was wearing bib overalls and started to get in my car to go someplace, my mother would ask,,,,

Are you taking Georgia, to meet a train?

 

[telescopes]

I forget sometimes that only a select, blessed and limited number of men in this old sin cussed world were raised by Campbellite mothers.

For example, on St. Patrick’s Day the other boys would wear something green to school. Our mothers knew that St. Patrick’s Day was an excuse by drunks to drink green beer. If we wore green, we put something on after we were safely out of their sight.

If the accessory didn’t make a man look sharp then he knew better, than to have in on in public.

My father and I could wear bib overalls, but only Big Smith engineer stripe ones, with a freshly washed and ironed button up collared shirt, and only on the farm, never to town, and never at the dinner table.

The benefits to this were, our fathers had never in their life bought a singe stitch clothing, nor had they touched a washing machine, and the only thing they were demanded to do, was carefully select the clothes and accessories they wore that were provided to them first by their mother, then their wife.

As a cautionary parable (there were unending such parables) about always looking sharp in public, my mother often told the Parable of Georgia and the Bib Overalls.

My father had an uncle that lived on Elmer’s 60 until 1936 when he sold the farm and moved to the State of California where he and his wife Cora worked like a slave in the fields near Bakersfield, and he died without ever seeing Humansville again. (This was a parable against selling land, as well)

But Cora and Elmer had married young (he was 23, another parable against early marriage) and they had a daughter named Georgia who of course grew up to be ravishingly beautiful, like her mother, and like her mother married young.

Her new husband was a good boy, from a good family, and Georgia dutifully bought and washed his clothes, but the boy would go to town with Georgia wearing bib overalls and no shirt.

My mother faulted Georgia for allowing such improprieties, but the fault of course was the boy’s mother, who’d never taught him not to wear bib overalls in public with a gorgeous wife was a recipe for certain disaster.


In 1929 a high ranking executive of J.C. Penny named Dimmit, had a forty year old son drink himself to death, and in his grief spent a large part of his fortune to donate a new regional hospital, community building and park to Humansville in memory of his wastrel, drunken son.

My father’s family had all gone to Humansville to greet somebody arriving on the northbound train, and Georgia left her baby with Cora and went to town with her shirtless husband wearing bib overalls.

The train arrived, the guests disembarked, the family greeted them, but when it was time to return home, Georgia could not be found.

The station master told the family, that a well dressed young doctor who had helped install X-ray machines in the new Dimmit Memorial Hospital was waiting on the northbound train, had escorted Georgia on the train, paid her ticket, and Georgia,,,,,was gone.


Georgia’s husband wailed, and cried, and prayed that Georgia would come back. She did come back, in a huge Packard with spare tires on both fenders, take her baby son back from Cora, divorce her husband, and her new husband adopted her son, who also became a doctor in Chicago.


Whenever I was wearing bib overalls and started to get in my car to go someplace, my mother would ask,,,,

Are you taking Georgia, to meet a train?

You are TOO MUCH. However, that is your BEST story yet.

 

[Briar Lee]

You are TOO MUCH. However, that is your BEST story yet.

Within a sixty mile radius of Springfield Missouri, is to this day home to more different Christian denominations than any other such area on earth. It is quite literally the buckle of the Bible Belt.

One of those sects, very much diminished, are members of the original Christian Church, often degenerated as Campbellites by other Christians. Offshoots of the Christian Church are known as the Disciples of Christ if they allow instrumental music in worship services and if they sing a cappella then the Church of Christ. They are congregational and our church was the Humansville Christian Church.

About fifteen years ago I brought one of my good Southern Baptist friends home with me to Humansville, and on some point of theology he was trying to argue sputtered

You Campbellites are nothing but a CULT!

To which I grinned and replied, the very first Christian cult David, who from a ragged little band of eleven cowardly Disciples of Christ and two beautiful women named Mary who discovered the Empty Tomb while on a mission the first Easter morning to dress up their man Jesus properly, escaped persecution to live long enough to tell the story.

We believe that story, is the gospel truth.

You, think that story we told, is the Gospel.

We are both right.


But being raised Campbellite is not just a religion, it is as much a way of life as being raised Amish or Mennonite.
Our women are breathtakingly beautiful and they demand, you try to look worthy of escorting them.

Or else.

To this day at the noon whistle, a northbound bus arrives in front of the Dimmitt Memorial Hospital and Humansville Community Building.



You don’t want to discover what or else, is.

 

[telescopes]

Within a sixty mile radius of Springfield Missouri, is to this day home to more different Christian denominations than any other such area on earth. It is quite literally the buckle of the Bible Belt.

One of those sects, very much diminished, are members of the original Christian Church, often degenerated as Campbellites by other Christians. Offshoots of the Christian Church are known as the Disciples of Christ if they allow instrumental music in worship services and if they sing a cappella then the Church of Christ. They are congregational and our church was the Humansville Christian Church.

About fifteen years ago I brought one of my good Southern Baptist friends home with me to Humansville, and on some point of theology he was trying to argue sputtered

You Campbellites are nothing but a CULT!

To which I grinned and replied, the very first Christian cult David, who from a ragged little band of eleven cowardly Disciples of Christ and two beautiful women named Mary who discovered the Empty Tomb while on a mission the first Easter morning to dress up their man Jesus properly, escaped persecution to live long enough to tell the story.

We believe that story, is the gospel truth.

You, think that story we told, is the Gospel.

We are both right.


But being raised Campbellite is not just a religion, it is as much a way of life as being raised Amish or Mennonite.
Our women are breathtakingly beautiful and they demand, you try to look worthy of escorting them.

Or else.

To this day at the noon whistle, a northbound bus arrives in front of the Dimmitt Memorial Hospital and Humansville Community Building.

View attachment 185032

You don’t want to discover what or else, is.

I was married in the O’Fallon Christian Church and my wife hails from northern Missouri and attended the Clarence Christian Church. I don’t remember anyone mentioning Campbellites. However, we spent many a summer at Campbell Point.

 

[Briar Lee]

Today I took delivery of a $30 delivered Baronet 616EX that turns out, is a Savinelli sub brand.

This one is huge. It holds four Luxury Twist Flakes, at least 8 grams.

I’ve been smoking it way over an hour.

Whether the luck of the draw or not, no pipe I own smokes any better, and only about three or four as well.

Here, is a nice looking, distinguished, dressy pipe you can, be seen in public smoking and not have a smart aleck say Ohhh Dude,,,,Sherlock Holmes!!!



Something like this one, might get Georgia to get on a train to Chicago.

 

[Hillcrest]

Today I took delivery of a $30 delivered Baronet 616EX

Ohhh Dude,,,,Sherlock Holmes!!!

 

[Hillcrest]

Yours looks more like a cannonball than a billiard ! But you convinced me ... IF ... I buy another pipe it will probably be a 6161ex of some type ... there are many, many varieties of finish and stem ! Thank you !!

 

[mcsooner]

Probably best she giggled at your large pipe and not your small pipe