I've only been to Chicago once. It was while driving home to BC from Ontario on my/our motorcycle, the 'our' signifying SWMBO sitting in the passenger seat. BC and Ontario are in Canada in case you are wondering. It was a Tuesday. It was at 5:00pm. It was raining. No I'm lying, it was pouring rain. No I'm lying; it was deluging.
SWMBO was navigating. Dang; I'm lying again. She was CUSSING more than she was navigating.
The map was wet. Actually the map was a soggy handful of mushy cardboard that SWMBO dropped at one of the pivotal moments along the 47 lane tool both riddled, sodden, soggy road.
It was May of 1991. There were no electronics. No GPS. No. Cell. Phones.
We got lost. Very, very lost. SWMBO went from cussing to crying to really, really cussing. I feared for my life. The dangers of a big city are totally insignificant compared to the danger of a soggy, soaking, wife who has began cussing for the second time while shivering on the passenger seat of a motorcycle. At 5:00pm. In the rain. In or near Chicago.
Somewhere along the 47 lane tool both ridden highway I found God. The sombitch was no help because he was as lost as I was.
I swore I would never, ever, ever go anywhere near Chicago again let alone INTO Chicago.
Maybe they should change the name from the Chicago Pipe Show to the Near Chicago Pipe Show...