Smoke, Beards, and Wives (Not Bearded Wives!)

[SoliDeoGloria]

New guy here; been reading/lurking from outside the registration wall for a while now...

I have a beautiful wife who has never put up much resistance to my vice-laden hobbies (beer, bourbon, cigars, and now pipes...), and yet she is quite encouraging of the beard I'm continuing to grow. In recent years I've generally started growing my beard in earnest towards the end of summer, and I generally trim it way back or shave it altogether in January/February (I just get tired of the same "look" after a while I guess!).

Anyways, I'm only smoking a few bowls a week (3-5) and she doesn't mind sitting with me on the porch and the "room note" from the aromatics I currently have on hand. HOWEVER, she's NOT a fan of kissing me thereafter, EVEN when I've brushed my teeth, drank water, used listerine, washed/oiled my beard, etc. as she says she can absolutely smell it and it doesn't smell good enough to make out with. (Ha!)

I smoke infrequently enough that I can mostly time it to not interfere with regularly scheduled adult-time, although it would seem to reduce my odds of such playful encounters when she's spontaneously ready to have some fun...

Does anyone else have this issue? How do you deal with it? Tips/tricks for effectively getting the worst part of the smoke smell out of a beard?

I am loving the newfound pipe smoking hobby...but I love my wife more. ;-)

 

[bullet08]

Forget wife. Smoke doesn't complaint.

 

[Jwebb90]

My wife has no issues with the smell of pipes or their lingering effect in the beard or breath. However, she cannot stand the smell of a cigar. This was certainly an issue when I worked at a B&M during my undergrad.

As far as mouth wash goes you may want to try Biotine. And I’m not really sure what to tell you about the beard other than shave it or smoke aromatics.

 

[Mike D]

Sounds like someone is not quite as tolerant of your smoking as you think, and there is some passive-aggressive stuff going on in order to control how much you smoke. If it is truly just a matter of it being a smell in your beard, then shave the beard. Problem solved.

If upon shaving the beard another "reason" pops up as to why you aren't getting any "adult time", then you will know she isn't going to like it no matter what.

At that point, either quit smoking and get more "adult time", or re-grow the beard, and schedule your "adult time" accordingly.

Just $0.02 from a guy that doesn't know you, your wife, or anything else about you.

Either way, welcome to the forum!

 

[timt]

My wife adjusted eventually. It's just the way it is and I don't try to eliminate or cover up the essence like I did at first.

 

[brut666]

Yeah have to agree. My wife is pretty tolerable with me. She hates the smell, taste of ciggs and cigars but even thou she hated it she would still kiss me as she loved me and in her own words, just put up with it.
Pipes, not so bad. The smells don't last as long and it's not such a strong smell. Either way, she doesn't like the smell but would never not kiss me.
Everyone's different thou ??

 

[SoliDeoGloria]

Sounds like someone is not quite as tolerant of your smoking as you think, and there is some passive-aggressive stuff going on in order to control how much you smoke. If it is truly just a matter of it being a smell in your beard, then shave the beard. Problem solved.

Definitely not "passive aggressive"...I know those games and she's not playing it. She won't have to be the one to control me; I control myself on account of never being mastered by a vice and/or hobby. ;-)

The beard will come off in the next few months, so I suppose we'll report back then!

 

[BROBS]

Wash the beard and mustache with shampoo. Then oil with a good smelling oil. The smell should not remain if you cleanse with shampoo.

 

[Richmond B. Funkenhouser]

Dude.. It's only a problem because you are enabling it to be.

 

[Richmond B. Funkenhouser]

Hell my wife probably gets hot and bothered everytime she smells smoke. Makes her think of this sexy stallion..

** I'm sure that's not reality.. but hey, I'm not going to quit smoking.. so what's the harm in a little positive thinking?

 

[cosmicfolklore]

When I met my wife I was quitting cigarettes and she was a die hard anti-smoking nazi. Her father had died of lung cancer when she was 10, so... it was a big deal for her. But, as I was quitting, I still longed for the taste of tobacco, so I brought a pipe over, and she bucked and stomped. But, after listening to some of our Pipesmagazine radioshows with her, and we started discussing tobacco and topics that Brian would have on the show. Soon, she was asking me to smoke inside, so that her place would smell like pipesmoke, which she came to adore. Virginia pipe tobacco is about the best smelling room note. Aromatics smell fine while your smoking, but soon after smells like ass, and latakia = dumpster fires. Now, after all of these years, she will even smoke a cigar with me on the backporch. hers is always an aromatic cigar, but I'm not complaining.

My beard... I've had a beard since I was old enough to grow one. A goatee at 18, and a full beard in my late 40's. I'm just so beautiful that a beard helps keep so many women off of me, and prevents guys from getting jealous of my beauty. It's not my fault. I was just born this way. Don't hate me. But, at the beginning of covid lockdown, I was afraid that my beard was preventing my mask from working correctly, so I shaved for the first time in about 40 years. My wife belittled me everyday until it grew back. She got so tired of the young women in our neighborhood stopping to watch me as I was mowing the yard. Plus, she wanted the full hairy burley man she married in the first place. I have to admit, I kinda liked the attention. But, I would never jeopardize my wonderful marriage by carrying on with a young woman. Young women are just too difficult, and they're not as flexible.

 

[Richmond B. Funkenhouser]

I do have issues with onions and my beard.. I swear If I get within 10 feet of an onion I need a good beard scrubbing.

One Krystal burger and its like I'm wearing a beard made of small square onion burgers.

I carry baby wipes and shit, the struggle is real.

 

[warren]

The reek of burned tobacco thrives in hair, clothes, etc. She'll either learn to tolerate such or not. How will you and she cope with the problem? Time will tell. Is it a hill you or she wish to die on? Or, will one of you decide the matter isn't worth the reward.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

One Krystal burger

Blech... you eat those? I thought they were only ever used for catfish bait. Just thinking about them makes my stomach churn.

 

[BROBS]

Blech... you eat those? I thought they were only ever used for catfish bait. Just thinking about them makes my stomach churn.

White Castle with a gas-station logo ?

 

[brut666]

Blech... you eat those? I thought they were only ever used for catfish bait. Just thinking about them makes my stomach churn.

White Castle with a gas-station logo ?

Don't get either of them over here, seems like I'm not missing much ?

 

[BROBS]

Don't get either of them over here, seems like I'm not missing much ?

Depends.... how drunk are you?

 

[brut666]

Depends.... how drunk are you?

Ah well then, on that subject. For most English, especially my generation, when drinking or after, it's a dirty donna kebab.
Not to be confused with a nice Mediterranean kebab ?

 

[BROBS]

Ah well then, on that subject. For most English, especially my generation, when drinking or after, it's a dirty donna kebab.
Not to be confused with a nice Mediterranean kebab ?

DONER KABOB?

 

[BROBS]

Ah well then, on that subject. For most English, especially my generation, when drinking or after, it's a dirty donna kebab.
Not to be confused with a nice Mediterranean kebab ?

in Germany we always wanted them POMMES