Problems With a Friend Having Problems with Baldness

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anotherbob

Lifer
Mar 30, 2019
16,662
31,236
46
In the semi-rural NorthEastern USA
My good friend of many years has been losing his hair at a considerable rate recently. It seems to effecting many aspects of his self esteem and he has been acting very angry towards many people including myself. Maybe it doesn't help that I have a full head of hair, I have been trying to wear more caps around him to maybe make him think about the difference in hair less. I hate to lie but have been encouraging, often telling him that losing his hair is no big deal and it looks great. I also have been trying to get him into pipes as I feel like they are a good distraction. Do members have any suggestions? I would really like not to lose this good friend of mine over him losing his hair of all things.
honestly I'd say just be done with it. I mean seriously if that's too much for him I hate to tell him from my experience it just keeps going. And wait till he finds out about other aspects of aging that make having a shiny spot on your head seem mild. Seriously every single guy I've met that has a conniption about losing their hair is either a model and afraid they have to go back to getting a real job or they get even worse when they have to admit that most young ladies just for some reason don't want to sleep with guys that are both out of shape and jerk wads. And I mean admit with that. When even they have to admit that they're out of place at the club. I'd say best suggestion is to accept the person is an egotistical mess and either just throw your hands up and say they'll be like this or just be straight up with them and see if that helps or not. What do I mean about being straight up. Losing your hair is no big deal, being a total creep jerk about it is a big deal.
 

anotherbob

Lifer
Mar 30, 2019
16,662
31,236
46
In the semi-rural NorthEastern USA
But, rest assured that baldness comes from an abundance of testosterone. Last Urology visit the doc told me that I was blessed. So many men with a head full of hair at my age can't get a hard on for shit, and have to take hormone shots just to keep from losing all interest in sex, shrinking balls, lose of muscle mass, drive of any sort, and a whole host of other problems.
That's a good doctor there. You know lying to you about things that won't hurt you. Or wait he's not also told you that eating ribs for lunch every single day will make your heart strong and that exercise is bad?
 
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That's a good doctor there. You know lying to you about things that won't hurt you. Or wait he's not also told you that eating ribs for lunch every single day will make your heart strong and that exercise is bad?
I don't eat ribs every day, and I run five miles a day or ride my bike. Are you going to be another person on the forum that thinks they've figured out what is wrong with the medical field? If so,. just drop it and stop replying to my comments.
 

telescopes

Pipe Dreamer and Star Gazer
I don't eat ribs every day, and I run five miles a day or ride my bike. Are you going to be another person on the forum that thinks they've figured out what is wrong with the medical field? If so,. just drop it and stop replying to my comments.
I enjoy a Manhattan around 10:00 in the morning.image.jpg
 

anotherbob

Lifer
Mar 30, 2019
16,662
31,236
46
In the semi-rural NorthEastern USA
I don't eat ribs every day, and I run five miles a day or ride my bike. Are you going to be another person on the forum that thinks they've figured out what is wrong with the medical field? If so,. just drop it and stop replying to my comments.
nope. Though I do make fun of doctors that pander to their customers and lie to them. Those guys do need to be made fun of. Nope just using your doctor to tease you, because it's really fun for some unfathomable reason.
 
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Mar 1, 2014
3,658
4,960
I can think of nothing better for a man's self esteem.

Once you have a rack with proper safety you can lift to your heart's content and failing a lift on the Bench Press is no big deal, and for Overhead Press you can start with the bar on the pins which makes that movement a lot easier.
(And yes, proper stretches and warmup are every bit as important no matter what equipment you have.)
 

gatorhazard

Starting to Get Obsessed
Mar 26, 2020
114
426
Is the guy married or single? Does it matter to his wife or significant other? Does he think he can't get a significant other? I'm 45, been losing my hair since my twenties. Its thin enough on top that in pictures, I'm a chrome dome since my hair is light colored. Its not the end of the world. I'd prefer to have hair, sure, but my wife still finds me sexy, and that's what matters. She knew I was going bald when we met, told her its not going to be there forever and it doesn't bother her so it doesn't really bother me. She likes the beard that I've grown in as well.

Life is short, there are more important things to worry about. Shave it, manage it, grow hair elsewhere, get a tan, build some muscles, whatever. Worrying about it will just make it fall out faster anyway.
 
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Merl Haggard sang a song about not going around mirrors... it's not really fair to tell someone to suck it up when it comes to things like hair. It's really easy for a kid to think that grown men are being babies when it comes to stuff like this, but think about how we all self-identify with how we look. What if we lost our nose or our lips, and when we look in the mirror we see someone completely different. I shaved my head one summer in college because of the heat, but I had problems even looking in the mirror then. And, when I shaved my beard last year, I had issues with looking in the mirror then.

We see ego as being this evil thing, but we all have a self image. Remove something from our face or head and it is really hard to look in the mirror. Luckily for me, I can't see my bald spot without two mirrors, ha ha. But, I can totally empathize with someone who can see the bare skin on their head.

Youngsters see things like boob jobs, facelifts, combovers, toupee's, etc as totally egotistical vanity issues, but really they can mean so much for people who have a problem with how they look. This is why cancer survivors go through get so much therapy and get special attention when they lose breasts or hair, It can crush a person. The very same "woke" individuals who would stand up for so many disenfranchised people in our civilization will also put a man down for a toupee or a woman who loses a breast getting implants, it's ridiculous.

On the other hand, in accordance with the OP, I just don't know how to help you help your friend. It is a very individualistic thing in how we react and what is best. Too many variables to get help from complete strangers on a forum, but I wish you and your friend the best of luck and good wishes.
 
Jan 27, 2020
3,997
8,122
maybe he doesn't deserve to believe in himself? Have you thought about that. My new advice ask him why he hates God so much. God wants him bald and yet your "friend" is too good for that.

He is Jewish and I'm not so I don't think it's appropriate that I tell him about what his God wants.
 
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telescopes

Pipe Dreamer and Star Gazer
Yes, loosing hair sucks. But if one is going to live life, and I mean really live life to its fullest, they have to shake that one off. If they can't, they are in for a world of disappointment. Losing one's lips or nose is not normal. Losing breasts to breast cancer is not a normal part of life either. Loosing hair is. The measure of man is somewhat how he responds in the foxhole. Some. grind through it. Some are shaken to their core. Either way, both are acceptable. Losing hair is NOT a foxhole experience. As someone who has lost it, I have no recompense for those who cry about it. When I was held by the FARC for over 18 months when I was a young utopian dreamer after college, that put much of my life in perspective. Sorry, losing hair is the least of my worries.
 
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BROBS

Lifer
Nov 13, 2019
11,765
40,038
IA
I recently cut my hair which was down past my shoulders. It just became too much of a pain in the ass to take care of. It was thinning up top and I didn't care for the look. I also hated having to take care of so much freaking hair. All through my younger years I could grow a huge afro and back in the 70's and 80's I did have a huge hair band type hair do with my hair always down to my shoulders. Now at 63 my hair is thinning up top with plenty on the back and sides. I will eventually go bald I think and if I do I won't give a shit as I am already an old man in a wheelchair who has a live in caretaker and my days of chasing down trim are over. I had all the hair I needed back in the days when it counted. Now it doesn't matter and I couldn't care less if I go bald.

I grew up with a friend who started going bald in his early 20's and it really messed with his head and he had those plugs put in and those looked ridiculous and he was already married with a wife and 2 kids. I never understood why he cared so much since it obviously didn't bother his wife. Some people just have self esteem issues when they really shouldn't.
There is a term that’s a different type of fro which may apply
 
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BROBS

Lifer
Nov 13, 2019
11,765
40,038
IA
Yes, loosing hair sucks. But if one is going to live life, and I mean really live life to its fullest, they have to shake that one off. If they can't, they are in for a world of disappointment. Losing one's lips or nose is not normal. Losing breasts to breast cancer is not a normal part of life either. Loosing hair is. The measure of man is somewhat how he responds in the foxhole. Some. grind through it. Some are shaken to their core. Either way, both are acceptable. Losing hair is NOT a foxhole experience. As someone who has lost it, I have no recompense for those who cry about it. When I was held by the FARC for over 18 months when I was a young utopian dreamer after college, that put much of my life in perspective. Sorry, losing hair is the least of my worries.
Tell Pablo hey
 
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Jan 27, 2020
3,997
8,122
Is the guy married or single? Does it matter to his wife or significant other? Does he think he can't get a significant other? I'm 45, been losing my hair since my twenties. Its thin enough on top that in pictures, I'm a chrome dome since my hair is light colored. Its not the end of the world. I'd prefer to have hair, sure, but my wife still finds me sexy, and that's what matters. She knew I was going bald when we met, told her its not going to be there forever and it doesn't bother her so it doesn't really bother me. She likes the beard that I've grown in as well.

Life is short, there are more important things to worry about. Shave it, manage it, grow hair elsewhere, get a tan, build some muscles, whatever. Worrying about it will just make it fall out faster anyway.

He is single. He was "popular" with women before his hair had enough of his head and started to fall off. He's in his late 30s, I think maybe it would be easier if he lost it younger as he would of gotten us to not having so much attention from women.
 
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