Pipes as Weapons?

[onemangang]

I'm thinking about getting UA to design and make me a pipe that could be used as a weapon in a pinch! Thinking along the lines of a "fist fill" or kubotan type weapon.

- Must be stout

- Must feel good when griped

- Must smoke well
Shapes that might work:

- Poker

- Cutty

- Hawksbill
The bit shouldn't be very elaborate. Sturdy and easily replaced in case of breakage.
Anyone else ever thought of this? Any ideas? How 'bout 2 churchwardens that could be attached by a cord? Numchucks!

 

[pawpaw]

lmao Churchucks
and have you seen those grizzly pipes they are more like clubs that you could use to smoke tobacco

 

[unclearthur]

This Irish Second should work. A real fist full.

 

[mp31guitar]

I can see the goverment banning all tobacco pipes. 8O

 

[unclearthur]

Bottom one would make a dandy club. WDC Jumbo

 

[grouchy]

could double as a tooth pick. a cake or piece of meat to see how well done it is. spear or sword. cattle prod. tire thumper. stopped up toilet or sink.

toe jam. belly button lint. ear wax. stuck bugger, butt scratcher and last but not least, dingle berry picker.

you might just be on to something here. better think about a patent and product liability insurance.

the universal tool. could be the infomercial of all times. to bad you cant get billy mays.

oh well.

numchucks and short cut to mushrooms, what a combo.
one man gang, you need to quit smoking that stuff. atleast not so much at one time.

self dicipline is the key. moderation.

 

[nemrod]

Wanting to see some examples of this "fist fill", not having heard the term before, I image googled it, with SafeSearch off. I should have seen it coming :|

 

[mp31guitar]

:rofl:

 

[bubbadreier]

:lol: As a martial artist of many years, I can see where the appeal of having a dual purpose pipe, but I want to kick someone's a** and keep the pipe in my mouth!!

 

[fred]

http://www.crazycrow.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Screen=CTGY&Category_Code=842-200-000

 

[rigmedic1]

Turn a shillelagh into a really longggg churchwarden.

 

[bootlegbonvivant]

:rofl: I thunked one of my kids with a pipe lightly over the head the other day just to mess with them. They looked back at me with a "WTH dad" look, rubbed the spot on their head with an "ow" to follow it up.
I love being a dad.

 

[baronsamedi]

I can clench my pipe and pistol-whip someone with my .45. Then I tell 'em, "You megg me grop gis pipe, I'll blow yer puggin' head off!! (slobber) :rofl:

 

[bootlegbonvivant]

:rofl: AIN'T THAT THE TRUTH! LMAO!
I was trying to work in the workshop last night and kept drooling all over my pipe. That was some great baccy!

 

[baronsamedi]

Maybe something like this? (sorry, best I could do in 15 minutes)

 

[baronsamedi]

Seriously, though, for the kubota thing to work, you have to deal with the issues of the stem/shank connection and its stability and a way to work around the bowl full of hot ash. It would have to have a seriously thick ir reinforced shank which maybe even exends past the bowl a bit for thumb support.

 

[johnnyrebel]

I think you might find what youre looking for in the tomahawk pipe! Though i would recomend a windcap, i wouldn't want for you to spill your fresh bowl of penzance in battle. :lol:

 

[sjpipesmoker]

@nimrod, I can only imagine what pictures you seen!!! OMG!!

 

[romeowood]

THanks Baron. I've spent the last several minutes cleaning the desk, keyboard and now changing my shirt because I spat tea all about the room after reading your post.
I think though that the pipe is already a defensive weapon--it provides the solace I seek from the daily insanity, and anyone who would choose to attack my blissful repose would be met with such a placid demeanor that I'd hope they'd relent in their assault and sit and join me for a bowl.

Then, when they're all relaxed, I'd just stab them in the eye with the pipe stem.

 

[cyndi]

Keep your pipe in your mouth, palm strike to the ear, walk away.
OTOH, my sister prefers the Donky Kong with a cigarette in her mouth. Both are effective.