Pipes as Weapons?

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onemangang

Might Stick Around
May 20, 2011
53
0
I'm thinking about getting UA to design and make me a pipe that could be used as a weapon in a pinch! Thinking along the lines of a "fist fill" or kubotan type weapon.

- Must be stout

- Must feel good when griped

- Must smoke well
Shapes that might work:

- Poker

- Cutty

- Hawksbill
The bit shouldn't be very elaborate. Sturdy and easily replaced in case of breakage.
Anyone else ever thought of this? Any ideas? How 'bout 2 churchwardens that could be attached by a cord? Numchucks!

 

unclearthur

Lifer
Mar 9, 2010
6,875
5
This Irish Second should work. A real fist full.



 

grouchy

Can't Leave
Jun 26, 2011
314
0
could double as a tooth pick. a cake or piece of meat to see how well done it is. spear or sword. cattle prod. tire thumper. stopped up toilet or sink.

toe jam. belly button lint. ear wax. stuck bugger, butt scratcher and last but not least, dingle berry picker.

you might just be on to something here. better think about a patent and product liability insurance.

the universal tool. could be the infomercial of all times. to bad you cant get billy mays.

oh well.

numchucks and short cut to mushrooms, what a combo.
one man gang, you need to quit smoking that stuff. atleast not so much at one time.

self dicipline is the key. moderation.

 

nemrod

Can't Leave
Apr 28, 2011
337
0
Sweden
Wanting to see some examples of this "fist fill", not having heard the term before, I image googled it, with SafeSearch off. I should have seen it coming :|

 

bubbadreier

Lifer
Jul 30, 2010
3,011
1
Norman, Oklahoma
:lol: As a martial artist of many years, I can see where the appeal of having a dual purpose pipe, but I want to kick someone's a** and keep the pipe in my mouth!!

 

fred

Lifer
Mar 21, 2010
1,509
3
http://www.crazycrow.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Screen=CTGY&Category_Code=842-200-000

 
Nov 14, 2009
1,194
0
Flowery Branch, GA
:rofl: I thunked one of my kids with a pipe lightly over the head the other day just to mess with them. They looked back at me with a "WTH dad" look, rubbed the spot on their head with an "ow" to follow it up.
I love being a dad.

 

baronsamedi

Lifer
May 4, 2011
5,688
4
Dallas
I can clench my pipe and pistol-whip someone with my .45. Then I tell 'em, "You megg me grop gis pipe, I'll blow yer puggin' head off!! (slobber) :rofl:

 

baronsamedi

Lifer
May 4, 2011
5,688
4
Dallas
Seriously, though, for the kubota thing to work, you have to deal with the issues of the stem/shank connection and its stability and a way to work around the bowl full of hot ash. It would have to have a seriously thick ir reinforced shank which maybe even exends past the bowl a bit for thumb support.

 

johnnyrebel

Starting to Get Obsessed
Dec 3, 2010
192
0
I think you might find what youre looking for in the tomahawk pipe! Though i would recomend a windcap, i wouldn't want for you to spill your fresh bowl of penzance in battle. :lol:


 

romeowood

Lifer
Jan 1, 2011
1,969
181
The Interwebs
THanks Baron. I've spent the last several minutes cleaning the desk, keyboard and now changing my shirt because I spat tea all about the room after reading your post.
I think though that the pipe is already a defensive weapon--it provides the solace I seek from the daily insanity, and anyone who would choose to attack my blissful repose would be met with such a placid demeanor that I'd hope they'd relent in their assault and sit and join me for a bowl.

Then, when they're all relaxed, I'd just stab them in the eye with the pipe stem.

 

cyndi

Lifer
Nov 14, 2009
1,049
0
Flowery Branch, GA
Keep your pipe in your mouth, palm strike to the ear, walk away.
OTOH, my sister prefers the Donky Kong with a cigarette in her mouth. Both are effective. ;)

 
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