Pipe Smoking and Makin' Babies

[Snook]

I rather suspect that, if you're looking for second opinions to confirm your lady's anxiety-fuelled aspirations of abstinence, you've come to the wrong place

Haha, definitely not my intention with this post! I may be a fool, but not THAT much of a fool. Just interested to hear other's stories is all.

Those are two activities that I would advise against doing simultaneously. Otherwise you may wind up in the pipe repair section of this forum, let alone the fact that it'd be a serious impediment to utilizing the breath method.

Happy to help, though I'm obviously using the word "help" quite loosely.

No kidding... But now I'm curious!

 

[Servant King]

No kidding... But now I'm curious!

Famous last words!

 

[Kollman]

The only advice is to use an aromatic when you are up changing diapers and feeding in the middle of the night as Balkan blends wind them up too much. Good luck with you and the Mrs.!

 

[Snook]

The only advice is to use an aromatic when you are up changing diapers and feeding in the middle of the night as Balkan blends wind them up too much. Good luck with you and the Mrs.!

Would you say Virginias would be good for rocking-chair time with them?

 

[dottlejockey]

Hell, i never needed nicotine until i had kids. That's when all the trouble started. I was bout 28. Never recovered as evidenced by the WAYS thread here...

 

[The Libertine]

Suposedly, tobacco can cause ED,,, But, I am pretty sure that is just for when you're with ugly girls. Therefore alcahol was invented. The whole thing works fine now.

Although alcohol can lead to some coyote ugly.

 

[hauntedmyst]

It's been scientifically proven pipe smoking increases fertility. As the pipe tobacco makes its way down to your testicles, it triggers a reaction in the spermatozoa similar to the effects of a turbo charger on an internal combustion engine. You'll get pregnant faster but you'll also finish faster. So two birds, one stone. Take my advice with a grain of salt, my wife calls me the Minute Man. At first I was hurt by it but then I realized how much more time I have for Netflix.

 

[Snook]

It's been scientifically proven pipe smoking increases fertility. As the pipe tobacco makes its way down to your testicles, it triggers a reaction in the spermatozoa similar to the effects of a turbo charger on an internal combustion engine. You'll get pregnant faster but you'll also finish faster. So two birds, one stone. Take my advice with a grain of salt, my wife calls me the Minute Man. At first I was hurt by it but then I realized how much more time I have for Netflix.

See, this was the exact argument I made but she wasn't having any of it. She didn't even care about all the additional time for other activities that we could gain back.

 

[BriarBrook]

The nice part about being Catholic is you only have one consideration for when you should be making babies. Once you're married, it's 24/7... whether you're rich, poor, smoking, or on death row.... you better be about it, son!

 

[pantsBoots]

You may be right about the accountabili-buddy thing. As for science and reason, I don't think I would get that deep into it with her. I figure if it makes her feel better about things, then I can make a change for a while.

Unless she wants it to be permanent! I have/had a couple friends who experienced that. They slowed to start the family, and then when they got back into their normal things, they got the whole, "You need to grow up - you're not 22 anymore" nonsense.

Just start smoking crack for a couple weeks. After that, she won't care if you have a few drinks or smoke tobacco. That's the best advice I can muster.

 

[Snook]

Unless she wants it to be permanent!

Oh that would be a whooooole different conversation!

 

[Snook]

The nice part about being Catholic is you only have one consideration for when you should be making babies. Once you're married, it's 24/7... whether you're rich, poor, smoking, or on death row.... you better be about it, son!

Thankfully I grew up with the perpetual weight of Catholic guilt and so I've had the pleasure of taking my sweet time with having kids. But at almost 33, I guess now's as good a time as any.

 

[huntertrw]

"Do you smoke after sex?"

"I don't know, I never looked."

 

[AndyNJ]

your overthinking it a lot, thereby reducing your chances...just relax

 

[mortonbriar]

Yeah, if my wife was concerned about that (I think she was a bit with the first one but not the second) I would happily let the vices rest for a while...who cares whether it is a real risk or not, a relaxed spouse is a good idea in that setting (in most settings).

 

[pappymac]

I'm not a doctor but I did screw one once....for about six months.

Anyway, my understanding is that a pregnant woman (as opposed to a non-pregnant woman) should not smoke or drink while pregnant as it may affect the growth of the baby while in the womb.

Someone else already mentioned that alcohol use has been responsible for numerous births.

 

[dottlejockey]

Yeah, if my wife was concerned about that (I think she was a bit with the first one but not the second) I would happily let the vices rest for a while...

This is how it tends to go. The first is always riddled with the most anxious planning as we journey into the unknown. Though the opposite and inverse reaction is also true as i took shakily to the baccy a short time after the second one! Gave me time to sit on the porch, smoke and wonder what i had done. :P

 

[cosmicfolklore]

I just feel sorry for the man for having to wait a couple of months before they start... you know. Trying.

 

[InWithBothFeet]

Adopt... and smoke your pipe at the ceremony.

 

[Snook]

Yeah, if my wife was concerned about that (I think she was a bit with the first one but not the second) I would happily let the vices rest for a while...who cares whether it is a real risk or not, a relaxed spouse is a good idea in that setting (in most settings).

That's my thinking, too.

Adopt... and smoke your pipe at the ceremony.

Now there's a thought...