Pipe Grading

[anotherbob]

This idea of a grading being an absolute indicator of quality used by the best makers has me wondering, so I called a buddy, a highly respected artist by the name of Mike Angelo, to get his perspective. The following transcript has been edited for clarity:

ME: Hi Mike! I know you're busy with commissions but could you put down the quill for a moment? I'd appreciate your take on grading work.

MIKE: Easy, everyone else's work is shit, especially Leonard. He can't finish anything.

ME: Okaaay, but do you grade your work? Like when you painted the Last Judgement, did you give it a grade? Would you rate it against the Sistine Ceiling or the Pietå for example.

MIKE: Have you been at the hemp again? It screws with your brains. Grading? Why would I ever consider doing that? Leonard would, that prancing putz, but who am I trying to impress?
Could you imagine the shit storm that would ensue if Julius somehow decided that my work was significantly variable in quality. He's enough of a pain in the ass with his "When will you make an end?" BS. He'd have been happy with a quick spray job and some stars.

ME: So you don't think grading your output is a good idea?

MIKE: Hell no! That's like picking favorites among my children.

ME: You have kids? How the hell did that happen?

MIKE: Don't be a wise ass. All my works are my children and I have been equally passionate about all of them. No way I'm going to do that.

ME: So, just to reiterate, you don't put grades on your work nor you would consider doing that?

MIKE: Bingo! My work's good. That's enough. You like it or you don't. Mind you, I can see where it could be used as a scam to rope in the rubes, but that doesn't interest me. Give it to Leonard. He'll jump on it like an altar boy.

ME: Ok, great. And thanks for your time, Mike. Don't take any wooden ducats.

I don't know what it is but something is kicking on my b.s. alarm. Hmmm I just can't shake the feeling you're making this conversation up.

 

[ron123]

I'd agree with the above - the price set is essentially a grade. Since he's been cited a few times, this is what Jack Howell says about pricing:

'If you want a 55 Interpretation with perfect grain or an Eskimo with a blast like Neill Roan's, I dunno, it may be a while. Unless you're willing to pay $2,000, in which case you have my attention.

That’s funny. I’m actually the guy - maybe one of the guys - that has asked a few times about that Eskimo. Price was never discussed though as he always quickly shot down the possibility of getting ring grains in the blast on the face of an Eskimo like that ever again.

 

[jguss]

…it's not about artisanry, it's about spin, and a lot about tax evasion.

Hopefully not; tax avoidance is legal, tax evasion is what gets people thrown into the slammer. In any case thank you for a whole new perspective on the art scam world.

 

[jguss]

A Howell is a Howell, even Gilligan would agree. Right?

Perhaps the best example of argumentum ad verecundiam I’ve seen all year.

 

[telescopes]

Perhaps the best example of argumentum ad verecundiam I’ve seen all year.

 

[sablebrush52]

Hopefully not; tax avoidance is legal, tax evasion is what gets people thrown into the slammer. In any case thank you for a whole new perspective on the art scam world.

Tax avoidance, if you will. Create a high dollar evaluation on this week's prodigy and donate the artwork to the Ofefenokee Swamp Museum of Modern Art, using the tax code to get a whopping huge exemption. It's a lot of what drives much of the high end art market.

 

[sablebrush52]

I don't know what it is but something is kicking on my b.s. alarm. Hmmm I just can't shake the feeling you're making this conversation up.

Heaven forfend.

 

[anotherbob]

Heaven forfend.

Heaven can forfend. Wait is that a word even? I am starting to wonder if there is some truth to that rumor that all artists are mad.

 

[sablebrush52]

Heaven can forfend. Wait is that a word even? I am starting to wonder if there is some truth to that rumor that all artists are mad.

Clearly you have some cultural deficits, not to know Sylvester’s favorite oath, after suffering succotash.

 

[anotherbob]

Clearly you have some cultural deficits, not to know Sylvester’s favorite oath, after suffering succotash.

Sir I think what you just did is deflection. I'll put it this way just because you can quote it and id where the quote came from doesn't mean you know the definition of the word. And then instead of just saying "well I don't actually know what it means", you put the spot light on me. It's alright I understand the shock of realizing you don't really know what you just said, happens to me most days before the caffeine ingestion.
So again what's the word actually mean? Forfend? Can you forfend with friends? If you can would you admit to it in polite company? Would your lawyer suggest you forfend? In what situations would they suggest that?
I look forward to the imminent illumination of my etymological interest. Thanks in advance for helping to unravel this abiding mystery. It's the key to unraveling the whole looney tunes mythos.

 

[sablebrush52]

Sir I think what you just did is deflection. I'll put it this way just because you can quote it and id where the quote came from doesn't mean you know the definition of the word. And then instead of just saying "well I don't actually know what it means", you put the spot light on me. It's alright I understand the shock of realizing you don't really know what you just said, happens to me most days before the caffeine ingestion.
So again what's the word actually mean? Forfend? Can you forfend with friends? If you can would you admit to it in polite company? Would your lawyer suggest you forfend? In what situations would they suggest that?
I look forward to the imminent illumination of my etymological interest. Thanks in advance for helping to unravel this abiding mystery. It's the key to unraveling the whole looney tunes mythos.

You're not a Talmudist by chance are you? Forfend = forbid in Looney Tunes speak. Sheesh!

 

[telescopes]

You're not a Talmudist by chance are you? Forfend = forbid in Looney Tunes speak. Sheesh!

Or Shakespeare….

 

[anotherbob]

You're not a Talmudist by chance are you? Forfend = forbid in Looney Tunes speak. Sheesh!

Even with the misspelling that's a weird thing to assume. I might be a nudist but you're correct I am not that tall.

 

[anotherbob]

Or Shakespeare….

Do you know there are zero authenticated photos of the man. That's a fact that surprises many people.

 

[saltedplug]

Even with the misspelling that's a weird thing to assume. I might be a nudist but you're correct I am not that tall.

I've not seen you mess with heads so well. And then using "forfend," which I find brilliant.

 

[americaman]

I was talking to George Dibos once about grading. His advice to me was to pay no attention to it. You can find a pipemaker’s lowest grade with fantastic straight grain, and then their $10,000 pipe that looks about the same.

I’m sure for some pipes or pipemakers it makes sense, but in most cases I’ve seen it doesn’t.

 

[telescopes]

King Lear, Act 5, Scene 1:


But have you never found my brother’s way
To the forfended place?

 

[anotherbob]

I was talking to George Dibos once about grading. His advice to me was to pay no attention to it. You can find a pipemaker’s lowest grade with fantastic straight grain, and then their $10,000 pipe that looks about the same.

I’m sure for some pipes or pipemakers it makes sense, but in most cases I’ve seen it doesn’t.

grading makes more sense if you consider it's value as an insider thing and completely or nearly irrelevant to the buyer. If you consider it as what the carver or factory thinks they can comfortably make off that pipe.

 

[sablebrush52]

Even with the misspelling that's a weird thing to assume. I might be a nudist but you're correct I am not that tall.

A nudist Talmudist is an image I may never get out of my head. Curse you...

 

[frozenchurchwarden]

Most of the time the only reason a pipe is graded "better" than another is aesthetics, and they all smoke about as well as a Rossi.