New Pipe Manufacturer

[bassbug]

I'm proud to introduce a new exclusive line of pipes available only to select clients.

The Bear-Lee Legitimate pipe.

Every one of our pipes is hand carved by elves from 800 year old briar from only the top 1/3 of the mountain across from some Italian village. With an average density twice that of lead and dug up by scent trained dogs, the briar is meticulously shaped using only hand forged tools, drilled to accuracies of less that 1/1000 of an inch and is then cured in a solution of unobtainium mixed with scarce-ium.

There is no finer pipe in the world. It's guaranteed to make ordinary household grass clippings taste like finely aged Virginia and for a special time only, you can customize your Bear-Lee Legitimate pipe with as many gold triangles as you wish.

These pipes are so select, so rare and so in demand that I can't even show any photos lest my modest workshop be robbed.

For more information or to reserve your Bear-Lee Legitimate pipes call 1-800-PIPE-MUD.








yes, this is satire, I'm just bored today.

 

[Kobold]

Damn. You had me at elves.

 

[bassbug]

Just wait till you hear about our vulcanite stems that actually come from Vulcan and delivered by some guy called Speak or Spike or something like that.

 

[OzPiper]

Ain't interested unless it has 10 genuine inlaid gold stars.
A white dot just does not cut the mustard

 

[Michigan_Bill]

Do they ship the pipes in slip cases made of genuine angel hair?

 

[hugodrax]

How much is shipping?

 

[solideogloria86]

This is definitely a scam. No one in their right mind would mix unobtanium and scarce-ium.

 

[didimauw]

....
....

..
.


I'll allow it.

 

[bassbug]

Do they ship the pipes in slip cases made of genuine angel hair?

That's for amateurs. Bear-Lee Legitimate pipes ship in slip cases woven from the threads of the almost extinct Aztec spiders found only at the top of 400 year old trees in the depths of the amazon

 

[bassbug]

How much is shipping?

All depends...Do you want it delivered by Bear or Lee?

 

[bassbug]

This is definitely a scam. No one in their right mind would mix unobtanium and scarce-ium.

Unless of course, you do it within the matter-antimatter field generated by a flux capacitor. Sheesh, I thought that was common knowledge.

 

[AJL67]

Are these the line that is hand polished with madigascar honey from the left side of the mountain?

 

[solideogloria86]

Unless of course, you do it within the matter-antimatter field generated by a flux capacitor. Sheesh, I thought that was common knowledge.

 

[hugodrax]

I actually gave away my Lee today. Wasn't a very good smoker and I can't look at it the same way anymore. Young smoker in my shop was very glad to have it, so all is right with the world.

 

[bassbug]

Are these the line that is hand polished with madigascar honey from the left side of the mountain?

OK....Which one of you guys is leaking trade secrets? Now the magic is gone.

 

[AJL67]

OK....Which one of you guys is leaking trade secrets? Now the magic is gone.

 

[Chasing Embers]

That's for amateurs. Bear-Lee Legitimate pipes ship in slip cases woven from the threads of the almost extinct Aztec spiders found only at the top of 400 year old trees in the depths of the amazon

But are the threads oil cured?

 

[bassbug]

But are the threads oil cured?

Look here friend...no one claimed perfection but we'll put our Bear-Lee Legitimate pipes up against any one...

 

[StringBEan]

I’m only buying the premium edition with the mammoth tusk inlay. You have to pay for the finer things in life.

 

[Chasing Embers]

I’m only buying the premium edition with the mammoth tusk inlay. You have to pay for the finer things in life.

Just because it says it's mammoth doesn't mean it is, just sayin'.