New Pipe Manufacturer

[bassbug]

I’m only buying the premium edition with the mammoth tusk inlay. You have to pay for the finer things in life.

Now here's a sucker gentleman that obviously knows the value of a scam fine smoking instrument.

 

[Searock Fan]

Congratulations: Your have taken the pile of BS on this site to new heights.

 

[Briar Lee]

I'm proud to introduce a new exclusive line of pipes available only to select clients.

The Bear-Lee Legitimate pipe.

Every one of our pipes is hand carved by elves from 800 year old briar from only the top 1/3 of the mountain across from some Italian village. With an average density twice that of lead and dug up by scent trained dogs, the briar is meticulously shaped using only hand forged tools, drilled to accuracies of less that 1/1000 of an inch and is then cured in a solution of unobtainium mixed with scarce-ium.

There is no finer pipe in the world. It's guaranteed to make ordinary household grass clippings taste like finely aged Virginia and for a special time only, you can customize your Bear-Lee Legitimate pipe with as many gold triangles as you wish.

These pipes are so select, so rare and so in demand that I can't even show any photos lest my modest workshop be robbed.

For more information or to reserve your Bear-Lee Legitimate pipes call 1-800-PIPE-MUD.








yes, this is satire, I'm just bored today.

Are they oil cured?

 

[hugodrax]

Are they oil cured?

By Virgins!!

 

[Servant King]

By Virgins!!

Wait...are they real virgins, or just those knockoffs from overseas? ?

 

[hugodrax]

Wait...are they real virgins, or just those knockoffs from overseas? ?

Genuine unicorn virgins, sir

 

[TheIronMonkey]

Genuine unicorn virgins, sir

I guess that means they’re horny virgins.

 

[mortonbriar]

I guess that means they’re horny virgins.

Not the kind you play leap frog with.

 

[bassbug]

Congratulations: Your have taken the pile of BS on this site to new heights.

My work here is done, but the challenge is on for anyone to surpass this plateau

 

[craig61a]

Are they oil cured?

Yeah, I was going to ask the same thing… If it ain’t cured with the oil of Aphrodite, forget it.

 

[craig61a]

PAD took over, I have to be the first kid on my block to have one…

 

[Richmond B. Funkenhouser]

Do they have a removable stinger?

 

[cosmicfolklore]

Will there be the use of stars to indicate the bad ones from the worse ones others?

 

[HawkeyeLinus]

Will there be the use of stars to indicate the bad ones from the worse ones others?

That would be Sneetches!

 

[Richmond B. Funkenhouser]

Also, are these post or pre war pipes?

 

[bassbug]

Will there be the use of stars to indicate the bad ones from the worse ones others?

We've chosen triangles rather than stars to signify the trifecta of near perfection. The issue is, after an objective analysis there's just not enough room on the stem for the number of triangles warranted, so each stem will be stamped with "42".....the answer to everything.

 

[bassbug]

Also, are these post or pre war pipes?

Depends which war you're referring to.

 

[Richmond B. Funkenhouser]

Depends which war you're referring to.

Touche

 

[Hillcrest]

I thought I read somewhere on this forum, they pass a pipe cleaner so well it goes right down the stem circles the bowl and shoots right back out again.

 

[justscience]

Minty? Asking for a friend.