My Woman Left Me
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...just a quick comment on the "language nanny" stuff - it's a common term of endearment
and you have to ask yourself if it would have even been brought up if the original poster was a female...
...I mean what if Loretta made a post saying "my man left me",
would the same comments have been made?
:?:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_wwP8UZR1o
and you have to ask yourself if it would have even been brought up if the original poster was a female...
...I mean what if Loretta made a post saying "my man left me",
would the same comments have been made?
:?:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_wwP8UZR1o
Welcome to the club. This move, on their part, is usually a power play. They make you believe you can't live without them, then they try to run your life. If you resist and cling to your rights they threaten to leave. If they finally learn they can't control you, then they often do leave. Get another one, but let her know from the beginning that you can't be pushed around. It is time, not for sorrow, but for regrouping.
I can definitely relate to your pain. I'm sure somebody already said it but you'll look back and realize everything worked out for the best and you gained experience. If you feel you were doing something wrong, make yourself a better partner for the next lady. Hopefully you'll have the chance to do that with the current one. I hope everything works out for you AND her.
Relationships require work, sort of like owning a vintage motorcycle. I cannot really offer any advice as I have been missing from the forum for some time due to marital difficulties with my own wife. All I can say is its often better to step back and not push the issues. Most people will respond to a reasonable overture but if you come at them too hard the average human will clam up and go into protection mode. Keep the communication channels open and gently focus on that you had and that which is positive. If she spent that much time with you and if it is what you really want in time she will come around! Good luck chum.
"It's hard to kiss the lips at night when that've been chewing your ass out all day."
I don't know any of you. I would just say that this young man is very lucky to have such deep emotional attachment.
The wording in the phrase "my woman" may have seemed to indicate a possessiveness not intended. We've got a lot of those kinds of phrases in daily usage. We say things that others interpret as offensive without understanding why.
If you do get back together, I wish you well. If you don't, it's not THE end.
I don't know any of you. I would just say that this young man is very lucky to have such deep emotional attachment.
The wording in the phrase "my woman" may have seemed to indicate a possessiveness not intended. We've got a lot of those kinds of phrases in daily usage. We say things that others interpret as offensive without understanding why.
If you do get back together, I wish you well. If you don't, it's not THE end.
again, I point out.. 10 years and no engagement/marriage. she is looking around at her friends getting married and dropping kids and yet no commitment from our friend. imo, if it was a control issue as was mentioned it would have surfaced long before 10 years had gone by.
we can all speculate but without knowing the 'trigger' to this everyone is just guessing.
this is an excellent example of finding ones 'woman'
we can all speculate but without knowing the 'trigger' to this everyone is just guessing.
Some times when some thing ends it means some thing better is coming along.
I had lived with some one for ten years. She left me and buddy it sucked. I did some soul searching, took some trips, tried some new hobbies and stuff. The first few months were rough but, after a while I got to where I was kind of happy again. 4 years later I was engaged to the most perfect woman. We just had our eleventh anniversary and I look back at the one who left me and wonder how I put up with her shit and why didn't I leave her? Life is crazy some times but things will get better for ya. Just be good to yourself, and keep hope alive that some one better is out there waiting to meet you.
In the mean time might I suggest Mexico? Hot senoritas and cold margaritas!
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JTT2LEyjdC4
I had lived with some one for ten years. She left me and buddy it sucked. I did some soul searching, took some trips, tried some new hobbies and stuff. The first few months were rough but, after a while I got to where I was kind of happy again. 4 years later I was engaged to the most perfect woman. We just had our eleventh anniversary and I look back at the one who left me and wonder how I put up with her shit and why didn't I leave her? Life is crazy some times but things will get better for ya. Just be good to yourself, and keep hope alive that some one better is out there waiting to meet you.
In the mean time might I suggest Mexico? Hot senoritas and cold margaritas!
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JTT2LEyjdC4
Who woulda thunk so much romantic advice from a dude's only club?
My story is a ditto of buster's. Over 35 years ago, I had a huge flame that burned for six months, then she dumped me and I crashed and burned in a different ways. I still remembering pestering God, begging that he would bring her back to me.
A few years later I married a lovely woman. I can honestly say that my love for my wife has grown every year for the the 35 plus years we've been married. Now, the few times I look back and think about the flame I lost, I almost always give a spontaneous prayer of fervant thanks that God ignored my youthful, pathetic pleas. He had a better plan.
Also, this helped. I locked by myself in my apartment for 3 days, drank beer and listened to Bobby Vinton records. Now, I'll guarantee that anyone,no matter how big a Vinton fan they might be, would overdose on the saccharin and bolt out into the world, ready to shake off the malaise and start walking with their head up. In other words embrace the grief so hard you can't stand it anymore.
Pax
My story is a ditto of buster's. Over 35 years ago, I had a huge flame that burned for six months, then she dumped me and I crashed and burned in a different ways. I still remembering pestering God, begging that he would bring her back to me.
A few years later I married a lovely woman. I can honestly say that my love for my wife has grown every year for the the 35 plus years we've been married. Now, the few times I look back and think about the flame I lost, I almost always give a spontaneous prayer of fervant thanks that God ignored my youthful, pathetic pleas. He had a better plan.
Also, this helped. I locked by myself in my apartment for 3 days, drank beer and listened to Bobby Vinton records. Now, I'll guarantee that anyone,no matter how big a Vinton fan they might be, would overdose on the saccharin and bolt out into the world, ready to shake off the malaise and start walking with their head up. In other words embrace the grief so hard you can't stand it anymore.
Pax
LostandFound one very last piece of advice
see if you can get this thread deleted because later down the road it will only serve as a bad reminder whether it works out with you two or not.
Best of luck to you bud.
see if you can get this thread deleted because later down the road it will only serve as a bad reminder whether it works out with you two or not.
Best of luck to you bud.
That sucks man.
Thing is, you have to just move on.
When the ex-wife left, I whined for a couple days. Then one night, I went to a strip club. Because I could.
The next day I watched the Red Sox. In my underwear, while smoking a cigar and drinking Jack Daniels out of the bottle. Because i could.
The next day, I went on a long ride on my motorcycle without telling anyone where I was going or when I'd be back. Because I could. When I got home, I had ice cream for dinner in my underwear while watching whatever it was I wanted on the television when I realized, heck, life is good.
Be single. Enjoy it, because you don't know how long it will last (although it's been a good 20 year ride for me).
Thing is, you have to just move on.
When the ex-wife left, I whined for a couple days. Then one night, I went to a strip club. Because I could.
The next day I watched the Red Sox. In my underwear, while smoking a cigar and drinking Jack Daniels out of the bottle. Because i could.
The next day, I went on a long ride on my motorcycle without telling anyone where I was going or when I'd be back. Because I could. When I got home, I had ice cream for dinner in my underwear while watching whatever it was I wanted on the television when I realized, heck, life is good.
Be single. Enjoy it, because you don't know how long it will last (although it's been a good 20 year ride for me).
Crap hit send! Sometimes one gives a 100% and the other 0% and sometimes vice versa, I know it's hard panicky, dry heaves, not going out for the littlest things sometimes people go into a depression, therapy that costs money find a support group for separated or divorced people, sit in the back just listen. I sunk to the bottom 18 pack of Coors light and a 1/5 th of Wild Turkey 101 a day. My friend put me in the hospital detox, AA for two years, met a younger professional lady and it's awesome, she doesn't want the charge cards and the keys to my Mercedes, she loves me for me! Grieve, reflect and recoup. If you think it can work by all means try. "It takes two to tango!"
73
Nate
73
Nate
Crap hit send! Sometimes one gives a 100% and the other 0% and sometimes vice versa, I know it's hard panicky, dry heaves, not going out for the littlest things sometimes people go into a depression, therapy that costs money find a support group for separated or divorced people, sit in the back just listen. I sunk to the bottom 18 pack of Coors light and a 1/5 th of Wild Turkey 101 a day. My friend put me in the hospital detox, AA for two years, met a younger professional lady and it's awesome, she doesn't want the charge cards and the keys to my Mercedes, she loves me for me! Grieve, reflect and recoup. If you think it can work by all means try. "It takes two to tango!"
73
Nate
73
Nate
Good luck and may things turn out for the best.
There are no mistakes in life, only lessons.Mark Twain
There is no such thing as a healthy or unhealthy relationship, there are only working and non-working relationships. Each one is dynamic and must be worked out on a mutual plane of understanding and compromise. Hawke
...er uh, I could be wrong, Hahaha
There are no mistakes in life, only lessons.Mark Twain
There is no such thing as a healthy or unhealthy relationship, there are only working and non-working relationships. Each one is dynamic and must be worked out on a mutual plane of understanding and compromise. Hawke
...er uh, I could be wrong, Hahaha
I'm sorry for your pain.
Been there, done that times 3. I have no advice on how you get through the next day and the one after that, but the pain will lessen. My dad always said everybody has strengths and weaknesses, play to your strengths and leave your weaknesses alone. I at least learned I'm not good at relationships and no longer look for a relationship. Now I find life easier and more pleasnat with a good dog for everyday companionship. I still like women, conversation, and fun, I just try to be honest about not making a commitment and remember when someone leaves for greener grounds that I made the decision, man up, and wish someone happiness. It's not alway easy, but I know I'm not good at long term relationships. I can be jealous of those who have good, long term relationships, but I don't think I could work one out. So I guess it's me and the dog.
However you go forward I wish you all the best and happiness.
Been there, done that times 3. I have no advice on how you get through the next day and the one after that, but the pain will lessen. My dad always said everybody has strengths and weaknesses, play to your strengths and leave your weaknesses alone. I at least learned I'm not good at relationships and no longer look for a relationship. Now I find life easier and more pleasnat with a good dog for everyday companionship. I still like women, conversation, and fun, I just try to be honest about not making a commitment and remember when someone leaves for greener grounds that I made the decision, man up, and wish someone happiness. It's not alway easy, but I know I'm not good at long term relationships. I can be jealous of those who have good, long term relationships, but I don't think I could work one out. So I guess it's me and the dog.
However you go forward I wish you all the best and happiness.
Been married twice. Will probably get married again.
Don't know your details, only know mine.
Whether it be with the one who just left, or another, but sit down and have a talk with yourself and her.
What is it about you, and about her, that was that disagreeable that you were unable to properly show your love for her.
It was something, and it should be explored and explored again.
I have no urge or compulsion to be with either of my ex wives. But I do know that the divorces were tragic and caused many people pain. I certainly had to change many things about myself to be successful in relationships.
I was, and can be, quite successfully single if I choose. But I actually prefer the constant companionship of a good woman.
Don't know your details, only know mine.
Whether it be with the one who just left, or another, but sit down and have a talk with yourself and her.
What is it about you, and about her, that was that disagreeable that you were unable to properly show your love for her.
It was something, and it should be explored and explored again.
I have no urge or compulsion to be with either of my ex wives. But I do know that the divorces were tragic and caused many people pain. I certainly had to change many things about myself to be successful in relationships.
I was, and can be, quite successfully single if I choose. But I actually prefer the constant companionship of a good woman.
Jerod - I hope all this works out well for you. Though many of us have been in your shoes, they're still the shoes you're walking in right now - and it sounds like it's a dark path you're treading. So I wish you the best in what is clearly a difficult time for you.
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