My Woman Left Me
- Thread starter lostandfound
- Start date
SmokingPipes.com Updates
Watch for Updates Twice a Week
PipesMagazine Approved Sponsor
Site Sponsors
PipesMagazine Approved Sponsor
PipesMagazine Approved Sponsor
PipesMagazine Approved Sponsor
PipesMagazine Approved Sponsor
- Status
I'm really sorry to hear about your troubles, Jerod. I've got no advice to give or relevant experiences - I don't know you well enough - but I hope you can get soon get to a place where things are working out for you.
Take care,
Andy
Take care,
Andy
I've been married happily for 34 years but my advice these days is DON'T get married until you are at least 35. (My youngest daughter did not heed that advice...).
Chin up, you'll pull thru!
Chin up, you'll pull thru!
jerod, how old are you? You look pretty young so there will always be another love down the road, trust me. What you do now is learn from your mistakes. Woman are all about being nurtured and having your love for them reinforced on a constant basis. They are insecure creatures no matter how smart and powerful they think they are. They are all just little girls basically who need security. Look at their relationship with their fathers for ideas on how they need to be handled. The worse the relationship with the father, the more insecure and neurotic they are, the better the relationship with the father, the better their self esteem is. Woman with a healthy self esteem are easier to deal with than the ones without it.
Always remember, woman are a totally different species than men, you can never treat them like one of the guys.
Always remember, woman are a totally different species than men, you can never treat them like one of the guys.
Look how many of us have been in your shoes! Advice never helped me when I was in them. And it sure isn't helping my son, who's going through the same thing.
I think we give it, knowing the words themselves won't alleviate any pain right now, but the camaraderie and commiseration count for something. All these hands on your shoulder.
I think we give it, knowing the words themselves won't alleviate any pain right now, but the camaraderie and commiseration count for something. All these hands on your shoulder.
Hey man I know it sucks right now but also it might be a blessing in disguise. If it was ment to be then it will work out. If I were you I'd ask her hey DO YOU NEED SOME SPACE? then ask if there is a chance for us in future. Don't chase her off by hounding her every day but don't go turn into boogie nights and make her despise you. Things will get better!!
Sorry, man - that's not a great place to be. It's been a while since I've been there, and I don't know enough about your situation to make any sort of informed, specific suggestions...
But in general, you can't really do anything about the other person, their actions, or their feelings. You only have some measure of control over your own self, your actions, and your feelings, so focus on those and take responsibility for the stuff that you did (or didn't do), and learn from it. Whether things get better with the other person or not, at least you'll have learned from it (as painful as that process can be).
Best of luck.
But in general, you can't really do anything about the other person, their actions, or their feelings. You only have some measure of control over your own self, your actions, and your feelings, so focus on those and take responsibility for the stuff that you did (or didn't do), and learn from it. Whether things get better with the other person or not, at least you'll have learned from it (as painful as that process can be).
Best of luck.
Man... that's some of the worst kind of pain there is. Not much anyone can say that will help at this time but do hang in there -- it will get better with time.
Despite some of the sarcastic comments posted, there is some good advice given. I don't there is anyone here who hasn't gone through something like this in their lifetime.
I will mention that sometimes seeking some professional help from a therapist can help. I know it did for me. The floor is dropped from under you, often without notice--really, there was probably alot of notice given, but we were too busy to pay attention.
If the relationship was based on a truly sound footing, sometimes the breakup can lead to a new type of more meaningful communication that may have been lacking.
My heart goes out to you and hope that in a short time you are able either to move on or repair the damage.
Good luck
I will mention that sometimes seeking some professional help from a therapist can help. I know it did for me. The floor is dropped from under you, often without notice--really, there was probably alot of notice given, but we were too busy to pay attention.
If the relationship was based on a truly sound footing, sometimes the breakup can lead to a new type of more meaningful communication that may have been lacking.
My heart goes out to you and hope that in a short time you are able either to move on or repair the damage.
Good luck
Sorry to hear that Jerod, nothing worse than having your heart ripped out. I think for a lot of people, their first real love is a learning experience. You learn that when something is special and worth it, you must use extra effort and consideration to keep it from going sour. If it's possible to patch things up without resentment or crossing any boundaries that cannot be undone, then see if you can work it out. If it's past that point though, the best you can do is lick your wounds and learn your lessons. My first serious relationship prepared me for when I met my wife. So as painful as it was at the time, it's a damn good thing I went through it. Hang in there bud.
You said it was your fault then this should have probably been expected. If your reaction to why she is leaving truly shows the level of care you had for her then the specific reason she is leaving probably would have never happened. Sorry to be a dick about it. Hopefully you learn something and enjoy the bachelor life a little bit. No need to completely freak out about it (understand easier said than done) but no kids and no ring at least you will keep everything you have.
Give her some space go about your business and contact her in about 1-2 weeks is my advice people say some pretty stupid shit when high emotions are involved.
Give her some space go about your business and contact her in about 1-2 weeks is my advice people say some pretty stupid shit when high emotions are involved.
The "My Woman" comments to this thread are pretty interesting. I think it is being used as a figure of speech and not a form of possession get off your high horse. When I speak to people about "my wife" that do not know who she is I refer to her as "My Wife" get over the the term. If you would have posted Kristy left me this leaves a lot more to interpret who the hell Kristy is or maybe it's none of our business to what her name is. With the "My Woman" title I knew exactly what the thread was about and whether or not I cared to look at it.
The reason why your getting some sour comments is simply bud.
A bird does not appreciate the fact it can fly until it is caged.
You are now a free bird so in a way people are envious of you thinking if they knew then what they know now so to speak.
But I can tell you that single or in a relationship the most important thing is YOU.
You need to be happy and enjoy your life unlock your full potential before you go to the next level. There's nothing wrong with living a caged life but if you bring with you all that baggage then a small cage will be even smaller.
Empty your bucket and make room for the right one maybe she's the right one but your bucket is full it won't work.
Mathematical Equation for love is as such:
+ and + = ¥ the vertical is you and her supporting yourself and together you have the strength to support each other.
+ and - = £ the positive one will have to carry the baggage of the negative one this causing the positive one to fold and fail
- and - = _ a disaster
Make your self a + and then you will attract another + eventually.
A bird does not appreciate the fact it can fly until it is caged.
You are now a free bird so in a way people are envious of you thinking if they knew then what they know now so to speak.
But I can tell you that single or in a relationship the most important thing is YOU.
You need to be happy and enjoy your life unlock your full potential before you go to the next level. There's nothing wrong with living a caged life but if you bring with you all that baggage then a small cage will be even smaller.
Empty your bucket and make room for the right one maybe she's the right one but your bucket is full it won't work.
Mathematical Equation for love is as such:
+ and + = ¥ the vertical is you and her supporting yourself and together you have the strength to support each other.
+ and - = £ the positive one will have to carry the baggage of the negative one this causing the positive one to fold and fail
- and - = _ a disaster
Make your self a + and then you will attract another + eventually.
My heartfelt condolences. If there is any solace in this it's that it happened before you had built a family life. When that comes tumbling down the fallout reaches far a wide. Accept the support of your friends after a suitable period of mourning and introspection.
A lesson I learned from a similar experience was that I really don't know what those even very close to me are truly thinking and feeling. You may think someone is permanently bonded to you as you are to them. They give you all the signs but they may be planing a way out the relationship or engaging in behavior completely contrary to your expectations. Since we can't (or shouldn't even try) to control people, we have to learn to be accepting and enjoy the moments of happiness we have. Not that we shouldn't be encouraging and nurturing because we should. But If it lasts 5 years or 80 years we should be thankful for the good times and the lessons learned for the next time.
A lesson I learned from a similar experience was that I really don't know what those even very close to me are truly thinking and feeling. You may think someone is permanently bonded to you as you are to them. They give you all the signs but they may be planing a way out the relationship or engaging in behavior completely contrary to your expectations. Since we can't (or shouldn't even try) to control people, we have to learn to be accepting and enjoy the moments of happiness we have. Not that we shouldn't be encouraging and nurturing because we should. But If it lasts 5 years or 80 years we should be thankful for the good times and the lessons learned for the next time.
Could be a blessing in disguise.
Take up drinking for a while, that will help get you mind off of her. Few relationships are actually worth it.
Man was not designed to be with the same woman all his life. Only the really lucky ones find a woman worth keeping their entire life.
Cheer up. Lots of fish in the sea.
I should be writing Advice Columns for major publications. :?
Take up drinking for a while, that will help get you mind off of her. Few relationships are actually worth it.
Man was not designed to be with the same woman all his life. Only the really lucky ones find a woman worth keeping their entire life.
Cheer up. Lots of fish in the sea.
I should be writing Advice Columns for major publications. :?
- Status