Low Fat Mayo Sucks

[OzPiper]

Our big revelation was trying heritage Greek black pig pork, raised on farm, foraging in an oak and beech forest, and very importantly slaughtered many months later than typical mass production pork as the pigs were left to fatten themselves naturally, not confined in a metal box. The meat was ruby red, taste out of this world and FILLING. When the taste is so intense you naturally eat less.

The reason why pata negra iberico jamon costs so much more than bog standard "factory" ham !

 

[cossackjack]

Potato salad = excuse to eat more mayonnaise.
Cole slaw = excuse to eat more mayonnaise.
Elbow macaroni salad = excuse to eat more mayonnaise.
Tuna salad = excuse to eat more mayonnaise.

Don't need no stinkin' excuse to eat more mayonnaise.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

While out on a fishing trip in college, in very remote little lake city called Pell City, we stopped in a diner for some quick eats before heading back to our campsite. The inside was 200F with this very fat sweaty woman eating and making onion sandwiches at her table. 3/4ths of an inch sliced onions on white bread smothered in copious amounts of mayonnaise. The mayonaise was just squirting down her huge face and huge pustule encrusted breasts in her flimsy sundress. The smell, heat, the sound of smacking wet chews, and the awefulness of the scene. We just left as our gag reflexes kicked in.

Setting around the campfire that night, my buddy grabbed his guitar and wrote Goddess of Pell City. It was sad, surreal, and grotesque beyond all imagination. And we were starving but sick at our stomachs as we drifted off to sleep…. and since that experience I can’t even think about mayonnaise, without that image, the carnage of it, haunting me. If Mrs Cosmic puts mayo in something she makes, she knows to just not talk about it. I’ll eat it…. as long I don’t have to think about it.
But, if I am cooking or making sandwiches, I know about a dozen spreads that I can whip up in seconds that have way more flavor than mayonnaise.

 

[anotherbob]

While out on a fishing trip in college, in very remote little lake city called Pell City, we stopped in a diner for some quick eats before heading back to our campsite. The inside was 200F with this very fat sweaty woman eating and making onion sandwiches at her table. 3/4ths of an inch sliced onions on white bread smothered in copious amounts of mayonnaise. The mayonaise was just squirting down her huge face and huge pustule encrusted breasts in her flimsy sundress. The smell, heat, the sound of smacking wet chews, and the awefulness of the scene. We just left as our gag reflexes kicked in.

Setting around the campfire that night, my buddy grabbed his guitar and wrote Goddess of Pell City. It was sad, surreal, and grotesque beyond all imagination. And we were starving but sick at our stomachs as we drifted off to sleep…. and since that experience I can’t even think about mayonnaise, without that image, the carnage of it, haunting me. If Mrs Cosmic puts mayo in something she makes, she knows to just not talk about it. I’ll eat it…. as long I don’t have to think about it.
But, if I am cooking or making sandwiches, I know about a dozen spreads that I can whip up in seconds that have way more flavor than mayonnaise.

now I think I understand how you got so twisted. Makes sense. Kind of like when you're like why's that guy such a jerk, and they say oh cause he was six when he saw both his parents slowly sawed in half. Except this makes even more sense.