I feel this country could use a large dose of Stoicism similar to the European countries.
Introvert/Extrovert
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Oh, I know. I was just having fun with it. You know... trying this whole conversation and quick relationships thing, ha ha.
I probably could use more skills in talking people into spending money. The tampers I make... I still get dozens of guys who "like" my etsy page for them, and they'll email me saying that if they weren't so expencive... blah blah blah. I just leave it be. I mean, I could go on and on about how a really nice pipe is going to be expensive or that this is an heirloom piece that will outlast them. But, really, I'm not sure I'd be persuaded. So... I just let them move on with a smile.
You'd think that I'd be much better at online sales, seeings how I can say things that only piss of a small few of people on here, ha ha. But, I just find is so damn hard to use messages to twist an arm. Whereas, I am absolutely certain without a doubt that if someone actually picks up one of my tampers and feels it in their hands that they'd buy it never questioning the paltry sum that I ask in return. Seeing a gemstone with your own eyes and the silvers... It gives it a value... As an introvert, I just find it much easier in person. Which sucks, because right now, there are so few shows that are happening.
I'm one of the guys that liked those tampers, but I was afraid of the paltry sum. A paltry sum over 2.99 for any tamper, and I'm as turned off as chasingembers watching a Hardee's commercial.
See, maybe I suck at this... twisting arm thing... maybe if we were in person and I squeezed your hand really hard when we shook them, you'd be more likely to dish out the cash, ha ha.
I agree the scenario you mentioned happens a lot. However, in my case, my wife and I are both introverts. We spend a lot of time together at home on the weekends, avoiding crowds and events and large groups of people, and we have a great time together. I've been with extroverted women before, and it was fun at times, but I think being married to one would be exhausing.
Similar to what @cigrmaster mentioned in his post about work pressure and the need to decompress, I frequently spend all day dealing with people's problems, and it takes its toll. My work has served to improve my social skills overall (and my public speaking abilities) but has also caused me to want to more or less stay away from much social interaction during my time away from work, good friends and family excepted of course.
I was once described by a psychologist friend as an introverted extrovert. Her meaning was that in a crowd I'm communicative and high-energy, but that I charge my batteries with alone time.
Conversely, I know people who are the opposite. They are relatively quiet and private people, but charge their batteries in company. I think pipe smoking attracts more contemplative people, which is probably why I tend to smoke alone. Or maybe it's because of the blends I like...
Conversely, I know people who are the opposite. They are relatively quiet and private people, but charge their batteries in company. I think pipe smoking attracts more contemplative people, which is probably why I tend to smoke alone. Or maybe it's because of the blends I like...
I enjoy explaining subjects to people, and doing the same in writing, and once thought teaching was a strong possibility for a career, and seriously considered it off and on for decades. What may have "cured" me was being a faculty spouse. My late wife was a truly gifted teacher and had both strong socially outgoing energy and an intense solitary scholarly side. But seeing the long hours of social exposure and podium work she did, in addition to dealing with administrators and parents, and the frustrations of all that, I decided a job where I worked intensely, long hours, on my own, was really more suited to me. I had some excellent biological science courses both in high school and college but never majored in any of that. So I was sort of amazed I spent the last 35 years of my career writing about biological and medical sciences for the public and lawmakers. My yin for rapt appreciation from young students eventually passed, and I can't imagine teaching today. On occasion, I can be a bit of a "ham," but then people are disappointed when the find out I am not that way all the time.
Cosmic-
You should greet folks with "What the f*** do you want?" in a loud voice. Then if they waver, "No soup for you!"....and "Get OUT!"
It will winnow down the on-the-fencers....
You should greet folks with "What the f*** do you want?" in a loud voice. Then if they waver, "No soup for you!"....and "Get OUT!"
It will winnow down the on-the-fencers....
I'm the death of the party.
You guys figure out what type that is.
You guys figure out what type that is.
Absolutely! More people croak out and fall off the twig sooner by practicing this 'ism". Works for me!
The death of the party! It took me on into my thirties to figure out how to attend a party. Booze tends to put me to sleep, so that didn't help. It took on a persona I didn't take seriously. I had to put aside saying anything of any importance and go with chatter, and how to do that without getting bored in twenty minutes. Once I had put aside any thought of having an interesting important conversation, the party thing became survivable if still not much fun.
Alcohol has always made my stomach feel weak and then I feel more like I have the flu than a party. So, I learned to grab a beer from someone, dump half of it out, and then walk around with it. This kept people from offering me more beer, seeing my empty hands. And, the bottle served as my ashtray, because of course everyone just expected to be able to walk around anyone's house smoking at a party.
Always my objective was to find the prettiest girl who looked intelligent enough to hold her own in a conversation. (her looking bored was always a big plus, bored girls put out faster). Too many dumb girls put up the illusion of pretty, but I'd rather be trapped in a car with bees than a stupid girl. Then lure her outside to talk, away from all the crowds and such. Once that was done, it was merely a pattern of topics that I always fell back on.
Being "at" the party is no one's idea of fun, except for those few extroverts sucking off everyone's attention to bolster their egos, God love them. But, party's are not fun, never have been. They are just meeting places for "hooking up." Once I learned that girls loved sex as much if not more than men, and that they had the same goals for going to parties... then all I had to do was get on their radar, and the rest was downhill.
For the most part, I don’t like people..... I have a very small circle of friends and family that I socialize with. I’m perfectly fine spending time alone, or with only one or two people. Even some of my close friends and family I can only take in small doses. I generally try to get along with most people, but if I really don’t like someone, I’m sure they are well aware of it.
I am very much an introvert. With my job I go into a department in the plant do my thing and leave most of the day I am alone. If I am not at work I am at home the older I get the less I like human interaction. The one exception is my wife but other than that i dont like dealing with people much.
Folks who are stoic die sooner? I guess if they hold it all in to excess..... But a bit of public stoicism would go towards a kinder, gentler nation, to coin a phrase.
Introvert.
Crowds, shopping malls, family gatherings etcetera leaves me exhausted.
Crowds, shopping malls, family gatherings etcetera leaves me exhausted.
Introvert by nature. Extrovert when necessary. In my professional life, I seem to naturally rise to a leadership position. My current team is over 50 people. All ages, races, genders, and backgrounds. I practice a style of Servant Leadership as opposed to leading by authority and fear. Works for me. But after 10-12 hrs or so, I’m ready for some quiet time.
Extrovert - ENFJ on the MBTI. I’ve been an educator for over 35 years - teacher, school counselor and now administrator. Being a extrovert has served me well in the classroom, not so well as a counselor and most of the time as an administrator. With the pandemic and school shutdown, I have solely missed the energy and buzz of students and colleagues on campus.
I’ve been guilty of thinking with my mouth open which can be challenging for those around me. I’ve found that with age comes a little wisdom, more experience and a need to further develop that inner introvert. As a school administrator for over 20 years probably the most important skill I’ve learned is to shut up and listen.
I’ve been guilty of thinking with my mouth open which can be challenging for those around me. I’ve found that with age comes a little wisdom, more experience and a need to further develop that inner introvert. As a school administrator for over 20 years probably the most important skill I’ve learned is to shut up and listen.
INFP here. I love alone time. People are draiming. When my wife and I were in pre marriage counseling, I scored at the top of the range for introvert and she scored at the top of the range for extrovert. The counselor said "This gonna be a big problem in your marriage!". We would go to parties and if there were 100 people there she would meet 98 of them. Id meet two. I'd be the life of the party - until about 10pm, when id hit my people wall and had enough. then I'd tell my best friend to bring her home when when they were done dancing. I'm the one who is comfortable performing in front of a crowd but hate small talk. Listening to the guys small talk sports at a party is like nails on a chalk board to me.
I'm a mix, introvert by nature but forced into leadership roles the more senior I become at my job. Luckily the requirements of my job and clients mean I can play to my strengths developing client deliverables, and be able to present them back. Having an academic background presentations and talking to a crowd is something that's drilled into you by default. Also listening to what the clients want is a big requirement, and one I easily fulfil.
Now in my personal life, both me and my wife are introverts, we're perfectly fine being at home, or going out for walks or a quiet drink or dinner, neither of us likes big parties, and usually will stick to socialising with a handful of well-known friends, in the corner. Never the centre of attention. At the same time I don't mind being in a busy place, but need my quiet recharge afterwards, in big business conferences where you need to be ON for 12-16 hours straight it's a struggle!
Now in my personal life, both me and my wife are introverts, we're perfectly fine being at home, or going out for walks or a quiet drink or dinner, neither of us likes big parties, and usually will stick to socialising with a handful of well-known friends, in the corner. Never the centre of attention. At the same time I don't mind being in a busy place, but need my quiet recharge afterwards, in big business conferences where you need to be ON for 12-16 hours straight it's a struggle!
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